Help me stay patient

[StJulian2023]

Neurodiverse DS is raging in his room and calling me through every five minutes. I’m shattered. The more calm I stay the quicker it will end.

I’m worried he’ll wake his sibling in the next room. It’s so stressful.

Sibling is fast asleep though. DS is thumping his bed and shouting about the unfairness of life.

DC is aware it’s Mother’s Day tomorrow and is sabotaging before it happens. Occasions don’t go well with him. Not that we make a fuss of it. So there’s that too.

Ah, now he is dropping in on Alexa. Lovely.

Do you have some headphones you can stick on just drown out the bulk of it. How old are they?
Are you home alone with them or can you go and sit in the car whilst it passes and DH is on alert.

DH is dead.

If I don’t respond to eldest the escalation is massive and will wake youngest, so earplugs not an option.

There is no solution but time.

I don't have experience of this but I would say very deep breaths are calming and will help you stay patient.

So hard when so sleep deprived.

I can only imagine how tough it must be. My 11 month old has been waking a lot through the night lately and the despair and frustration when I can't sleep is awful.

Super to hear DC wishes I was dead instead of his dad.

And yes, I know DC doesn’t mean it. And yes, DC is having counselling.

The very comforting thing about time is that it always passes. No matter how bad it feels, time is passing even as you read this. She will keep passing and this moment will be gone and your DS will get past what he is feeling right now.

Yes. DC is still shouting.

So, so many bad moments, every day, every week. That’s what makes it so so hard. And so little hope because life has been so hard for so very long. Ten years, in fact. Ten years!

I'm having a similar evening with my DD and you are doing better than me because I have just lost it and wailed like a child at her that I need her to stop this nightmare and leave me alone. (single parent, worked a long day today, has been relentless tantrum/ panic all evening and most of yesterday, she is 11). I totally get the sheer overwhelm you are feeling. Hang on in there. Don't make my mistake, it's hasnt helped either of us this evening. Now in feeling guilty and she s hyperventilating more. Sorry you lost your DH.

Bless you, I do that too, because what we’re having to do is too hard. I know they can’t see past themselves. But we aren’t saints. I hope she settles very soon

Oh OP, I’m sorry.
You sound like me a few years back with my son, it was like every event - Mother’s Day/birthday he sabotaged it or screamed and cried so much I was at the point of crying and losing it myself.
It’s the consistency of it and longevity, one person can only put up with so much for so long. Hand holding. You’ve got this.

Thank you. Yes that’s the worry. I’ve put up with so much for so long - and no end in sight. I don’t know how I can keep going.

Any sign of things calming down? You are doing a brilliant job holding it all together. Hope you can get some calm and peace tomorrow

DC now quiet and I’m having a cry.

You are a total hero and glad your other child stayed asleep. Have a good cry now, let it all out and then you can relax and I hope drift off for a really good night's sleep. Happy Mother's Day btw! May tomorrow be a peaceful one.

❤️ thank you for being so kind