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Agoraphobia

20 replies

Agoraphobia · 18/03/2023 21:27

Hi I'm a long time reader first time poster I suffer with anxiety and has turned to agoraphobia.
Ive not been out in 8 weeks only to put the bins out late at night.
Last time I did go out I had to have sunglasses on water full charged phone ear plugs this was for a 5 minutes walk .
However to night I had the urge to go out really big urge to walk it was pouring down of rain so know people plus it's dark 10 minutes I was out. I was so proud of myself I don't know what came over me with the urge my question is as anyone had agoraphobia /anxiety what's your best tips.
As I don't want to be trapped inside the rest of my life.
I have spoken to my GP but I really don't want meds as the side affects make me worse.

OP posts:
pleasestoprainingplease · 18/03/2023 21:49

Wow Star that's such amazing work. Proud of you. As someone who is with someone that's been stuck in doors for years i really feel so happy for you and I hope you seek the help to get you where you need to be. From experience it's really important you realise quickly and find strategies. But I'm so impressed. Please send some urges this way and I really hope the urge continues for you xx just a big fat well done 👏

monsteramunch · 18/03/2023 21:51

That's an amazing breakthrough OP, well done Flowers

uncomfortablydumb53 · 18/03/2023 21:57

Well done! That is a huge step
I was agoraphobic for over 2 years, so I get it
I recovered with help from a support worker where I very gradually went a bit further.. exposure therapy I guess you'd call it, going out in the dark is a good call, as you may feel less exposed

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BasilParsley · 18/03/2023 22:05

Well done @Agoraphobia for your first steps out in that big wide world.... I was agoraphobic for quite a while many years ago after a very stressful time in my life and couldn't do anything out of the normal routine I had.

I went to a hypnotherapist in the end and I always say she saved my life. She was so good that a load of deep subconscious stuff that was lurking in the bottom of my brain holding me back came to the fore and I was able to resolve it all.

I've not had an issue with agoraphobia since that last session with her ...

JoonT · 18/03/2023 22:47

If it’s any consolation, I’m sure you’re not alone OP. I have known two agoraphobes, and have a feeling it’s becoming more and more common. The world is just so flippin noisy and crowded and overwhelming that it’s hardly surprising if people can’t face it. Our nervous systems are being stretched to breaking point.

For example, I remember a moment during the heatwave last year. I got stuck in horrendous traffic, in 38 degree heat, and spent an hour fighting my way home. I live on a new build estate, with endless ghastly rabbit hutches all jammed on top of one another, and I remember shutting my door, sitting at the table and just sobbing - totally overwhelmed by the heat and noise and traffic. I really did not want to go outside again. Even as I type this I can hear the screeching and booming of boy racer engines, and today I took my mother out for a Mother’s Day meal, where we were yelled at in a road rage incident, then couldn’t get parked. If it wasn’t necessary, I sometimes think I’d be happy never to leave the house again.

I doubt there were any agoraphobes in a quiet English village in 1910, where the loudest sound was the clip clop of a horse, or the singing of birds.

justasking111 · 18/03/2023 23:15

I got it with all my pregnancies, hormones I guess. Very difficult with small baby, no car and needing to go out. My GP was lovely I did have meds for a time. Eventually I realised that I wasn't going to faint, die during an attack. Found a book which helped explain it.

Well done @Agoraphobia for fighting it

XenoBitch · 18/03/2023 23:39

Little and often, and set goals. Something like walk to a further away lamp post each time you get out. Eventually, you will reach a shop. Make that a goal to visit. Get milk one day, bread the next. Get a nice treat for yourself.
Some people are not happy with how small their life has become, and they take the above approach, so set little goals each day.
And then some just surrender for years and never leave the house. My gran was like that... only went in her back garden for 3 years. Then one day, she went 'fuck it'... and went to the local shop.. and she carried on from there.

Twinedpeaks · 18/03/2023 23:51

Please please consider why you don't want the meds. I was agroaphobic and couldn't leave my house at all. 2 months on Sertraline and my freedom came back bit by bit. It's not been about 18months and I have a normal job, great social life, can go for walks for fun etc. even been on holiday! Meds gave me my life back.

pompomdaisy · 18/03/2023 23:54

My daughter is in remission at the moment ( as the psychiatrist phrased it). She couldn't even come downstairs when it was at its worst. She's out at the moment at a party!

So her and I just practiced and practiced and built up gradually until she had had about 15 goes then she was usually able to do it. She still can't go in supermarkets or into our city centre but many other places she can now manage.

She was also commenced on Sertraline which helped. This and CBT are the recognised treatments for it.

justasking111 · 19/03/2023 00:30

Going into supermarkets is an interesting one. Friend working in Asda said that they find abandoned trolleys frequently because people have fled. There's a recognised phenomena with supermarket and indoor lighting affecting the brain it's to do with cycles per second of these lights. Ask your daughter to put on really dark sunglasses and try stepping inside see if that helps.

Nagado · 19/03/2023 00:52

That’s such a huge thing you’ve done, well done.

My tip would be that on days where you can’t face going outside, try to walk to the front door and touch it. You don’t have to open it. Just touch it. If you’re having a good day, but not quite enough to face the outside, stick your head out of the window, or stand by the open front door for as long as you feel comfortable.

BlueKaftan · 19/03/2023 01:43

I had for several years and sometimes I had to talk to myself as I was walking along, telling myself that everything was okay and that I was doing fine….in the end though it was Citalopram that helped me the most. Best of luck, OP. It’s a dreadful feeling.

pompomdaisy · 19/03/2023 01:45

Thanks @justasking111 I will try this.

LoveMySituation · 19/03/2023 02:04

@BasilParsley Your hypnotherapist sounds amazing. I'm not agoraphobic but there's certainly things lurking in my brain too that need to be gone. I've been a bit sceptical that hypnotherapy could achieve this. How long did it take(sessions?) Whereabouts in the country is she based(broadly)

BasilParsley · 19/03/2023 08:02

@LoveMySituation I had about five sessions with her. This was about thirty years ago so she's probably retired by now if she's still with us.

Fainnn2 · 22/03/2023 15:21

I am wanting to start a family. I do suffer with agoraphobia but generally I’m ok with someone with me. My boyfriend says he doesn’t want to start a family with me until I have conquered it. I just wanted to know if anyone has been in this situation.

TheHouseNextDoor · 22/03/2023 16:39

I couldn't leave the house for 3 years.

I read up about exposure therapy and then started leaving the house for very short periods of time. Getting longer each day. I replaced my fear of 'ill have a panic attack' with yesterday I didn't have a panic attack. Swap the negative to a positive.

I had to do this 100 of times as even when I could walk for 5 miles, I still couldn't go in a shop, get in a car, go in someone's house etc. So I did the same steps for most things in daily 'normal life'. Trains and tubes took a while. I'd get off one stop, get back on again. The whole process took well over a year.

Still haven't managed to get on a plane.

Therewere5inthebed · 22/03/2023 16:48

That is a fabulous first step, well done!

I’ve been where you were and I totally understand how hard it is.

I also found going out at night easier, although with a supportive ExH with me. Just round the block to start with progressing over a number of months to going to the supermarket at 3am once a week. Once that was manageable life slowly became bearable again.

I was agoraphobic (did not go out at all) for two years and found that taking things at my pace, not being pushed more than you are comfortable with and counselling really helped.
However really wanting to get better is the key. Give yourself time and don’t let little stumbles along the way get you down. You can do this.

DisforDarkChocolate · 20/09/2023 19:19

You are amazing @Agoraphobia

I have agoraphobia and it's bloody hard.

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