Would you be mildly annoyed about this?

[BansheeofInisherin]

I can't work out if I am being unreasonable or not, but I am terrified of posting in AIBU:)

I have a good friend who lives in another country and whom I have not seen for years, probably more than 4 years. She is visiting London now. Her DH and mine are also friends, but in the manner of men, they never communicate or keep up with each other, just see each other as and when they can.

In the pandemic, we both went through tough times with our DC, plus we are both struggling through peri-menopause, coping with elderly parent etc etc. She suggested we meet tomorrow for coffee. I said yes immediately, looking forward to a good unburdening of souls.

Then she says " By the way, I am bringing my husband. Can you bring your DH too?."

Bit peeved. I don't want the men there as we will both be more inhibited and can't talk about girlie stuff like our awful periods. DH says I am being unreasonable. She has a very short and busy visit so I won't be able to see her separately. Bah!

Ach thats rubbish.
Maybe her dh is one of those who doesn't let her out his sight?

Weird! If a mate asked me to meet for coffee I’d think it was just us, does she typically come joined at the hip with him?

Id be tempted to say no he’s not free I thought it was just us.

No, he really is not possessive. I think she just didn't think about it, or maybe he is at a bit of a loose end. I am probably overreacting.

Why don’t you say - yeah I’ll bring DH and then shall we leave them to it and have a proper catch up. I would.

I can't say no because my DH found out and while deeply anti-social normally, decided he wanted to come along!

What would he do alone in this country they don’t live in otherwise?
He’s friends with your DH so wants to meet, or maybe after 4 years not seeing each other, she’s concerned about the flow of conversation so the men will make things easier as there will be more people to talk?

This! I think this might even be what she wants and is just worried about her DH crashing your catch up?

She’s only making a short visit and the DHs are friends too so I think her way makes sense. You can talk about periods in text surely. I can understand the disappointment but this makes sense so just take it for what it is and enjoy seeing her.

To be fair I’d be like your friend, I’d really not think you wished to discuss your periods with me. I’d think it lovely if the guys wanted to meet as well.

so I’m with your husband.

I think she's asked your DH along so they can talk to each other whilst you 2 have a proper catch up!

Lol. I appreciate the feedback. We don't only talk about periods, mind you.... We are also in the same profession. so we talk a lot about that.

Ok, I will just take it as it is.

I would also assume this is what she means.

Do this with my friends often.

Would never meet up with one husband. It's either none or both, for this reason.

I will attempt this too! Yes, only one husband is not a good balance.

Husbands could sit at another table for a while why you and your friend have a catch-up- no big deal

Or they could go to the pub - if they're into that sort of thing g or go to a different cafe