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Ex h + his new daughter

6 replies

booya177 · 17/03/2023 21:56

Feel so sad this evening, I know why but don't know how to process.

Dd 20 was at her dad's, ( we're long divorced, new marriages and children - don't generally miss the marriage, he was an alcoholic )

She sent me a video of her playing with his "new" daughter ( she's 2) and it made me feel in a totally unexpected way.

I don't know how to explain and theres no one i can say it to in rl but I feel so so sad, regret, like they should both be mine and his. I could have had 2 daughters who grew up together with both parents. What our life should have been. I don't know.
I loved him so much but alcoholism destroyed us.
It'll pass I'm sure and I do love my second husband and we have a son who is amazing.
Just very unexpected feelings.

OP posts:
NannyGythaOgg · 17/03/2023 22:43

Whilst I can't reassure you on your specific issue, can I just say what an amazing job you have done with your (joint) daughter. She is clearly comfortable sending you the video in the knowledge that you will be genuinely pleased. That is some good parenting on your part

Aquamarine1029 · 17/03/2023 22:49

How you're feeling is totally normal. The death of a marriage brings with it it's own kind of grieving, and it may never fade completely. The demise of a marriage is the death of a dream. Be kind to yourself.

booya177 · 18/03/2023 08:20

Thank you , I never thought of it like that. My dd connection with her sister is super important to her and it is a positive to focus on for sure.

OP posts:
booya177 · 18/03/2023 08:21

Aquamarine1029 · 17/03/2023 22:49

How you're feeling is totally normal. The death of a marriage brings with it it's own kind of grieving, and it may never fade completely. The demise of a marriage is the death of a dream. Be kind to yourself.

I suppose yes it's mourning what it could have been x

OP posts:
mumyes · 18/03/2023 08:23
Flowers I totally get you. It's so easy to look at things with rose tinted glasses though...
booya177 · 18/03/2023 08:25

mumyes · 18/03/2023 08:23

Flowers I totally get you. It's so easy to look at things with rose tinted glasses though...

Its bizarre and totally caught me off guard.
How the mind works, who knows

OP posts:
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