When your Mum/MIL has passed away…

[Username721]

My own Mum is alive and well but my MIL passed away a few years ago of a specific illness.

She doesn’t have a grave or remembrance place to go lay flowers so I’ve went ahead and donated some money to the charity related to the illness she died from, in her memory. I thought it would be maybe a comfort to my DH.

It seemed like a nice idea at the time, but I’m now having a crisis of faith that I’ve done the wrong thing. I’m not sure why.

Would you appreciate something like that or should I have left it?

To be clear, it’s in relation to Mother’s Day on Sunday.

That’s a lovely gesture

It's a nice thought... But I would add something like giving him a box of his fave chocolates and say

"I know it's a hard time for you, so I've donated xyz and got these to make you smile".

You're lovely though 💗

It's nice etc, but I think it should have been his decision. That said I don't think I'd mind if DP did something similar for my mum.

It's not like anything will bring her back or fill the gap she left.

I think it's a lovely way to acknowledge and remember her for Mother's Day

Thanks guys. The organisation I donated to were directly involved in her care, helping to arrange aids for the house etc, so I’m hoping it’ll be well received.

@Indoorcatmum I’ll definitely do that. Maybe a few beers too. Thanks. 😊

That's nice. Although I wouldn't want to start an expectation of you to do something every year so I'd suffix it with 'I thought it would be nice just this year to do something in your mum's memory....

I do this every year for Mother’s Day and her birthday.