Mothers Day if you're NC with your mother...

[GreyCarpet]

I just wondered different it bothers you?

I've been NC for 11 years. Absolutely no chance for reconciliation for a number of reasons and I have no issue with that.

It was such a relief when we finally made the decision to cut contact and I've never had so much as a second's regret.

I've forgiven the abuse and other things she did in as much as I'm no longer angry about it and I understand it was her limitations as a person that led to it

Other people seem to find Mother's Day such a struggle though and I genuinely don't. It's just a day that comes and goes.

I just wondered if anyone else felt similarly.

Also been nc for 11 years! Tbh I never even glance at the cards etc. I do get them off dc but never feel wistful I don't buy one!

For me it’s my Dad and Fathers’ Day, but no, nothing. Not even a twinge.

Ah good. I was beginning to think I was a bit odd for it not being of any relevance at all!

My kids know that I take advantage of the day to have cups of tea made for me on demand 😁 and they sometimes get me a card but, no, I'm not bothered either

NC but for health reasons as opposed to anything sinister.

I don't really think about Mother's Day, I don't have kids so it's just a Sunday

Me too. I get a card and a gift for DP from our DC and I'm glad I don't have to go through the hassle and expense of getting anything for him (I don't think I ever did before I went NC either).

I find it peaceful. It makes my Mother's Day much more relaxing and stress free. In fact Mother's Day is the one day it's never bothered me. Birthdays and Christmases have sometimes.

I wish I did. I haven’t spoken with my mother since last year but still feel the pressure to send a non gushy card & flowers

Before going NC I used to find it so stressful to find an appropriate card which didn’t say “best mum ever” or be too lovey dovey as that definitely was not how I felt. 5 years NC here and I enjoy Mothers Day with my own kids and sometimes MIL and don’t give my mother a second thought.

I'm lucky now I'm older I have some great 'mum' type figures in my life. One particularly long standing one gets a card. Also got my MIL one this year as she's been a star (actually step mum in law). It bothers me more when I get nothing from my kids but that's a separate issue.

I have very reduced contact

I find birthdays, Mother's Day and Xmas very difficult

It doesn't matter what I do or don't do, she will still complain and make some passive aggressive comment

@Katrinawaves I have often thought about setting up my own card company with honest cards

Mine would be along the lines of "I only bought this so you can't complain about me or make me feel guilty'

But wouldn't that card just state that's exactly what you are doing and that the person you have sent it to is living rent free inside your head ?

Ime you do yourself and your dc a disservice by not making a fuss op. YOU are a dm worth making a fuss off. Tell those dc you want a fuss! They need an official opportunity to acknowledge to you their love and respect..
I joke about foot rubs and spoiling but just relaxing with a home made afternoon tea at home is fab enough.. Dc are fully able to put selfish teen ways aside for 1 day!

Yeah, I have been NC for about 5 years and I if don't care about it's because I purposely don't think about it. I just assume my brother is taking care of her.

Now I am a stepmum and my SC make a fuss of me. It's strange. It's nice, but I do feel slightly weird about it, like I don't really deserve it. I find motherhood to be such a difficult, ambivalent thing.

I'm NC with my Dad which was really hard and not my decision. But I don't find Father's Day hard as I always celebrate my husband and the wonderful father he is. I don't really give it a second thought actually....

I have no contact with my mother. She left our family (with my dad's best friend) when I was 12. I was in my mid 30s when I realised that I couldn't try any more. I'm 52 now.

I found Mother's Day so hard with my own dc as my mother left on the day after Mother's Day. I made a huge effort for my own dc and now it is easier (my dc are 19 , 21 and 23).

I send flowers on the day to the wonderful woman my dad married who has truly been a mother to me. And to my lovely mil (from dh and me).