Unsure what to do with DS(2) when on maternity leave with no2

[Indigoturquoise]

This crosses over to so many different boards but I’ll try to summarise.

I am a teacher. Take home pay is around £1700 for three days a week.

DH works away three days a week. The other two days he is often WFH but not always.

We have one DS, who will turn 3 in December. He will therefore be entitled to some funded hours from January 2024.

Baby no2 is due mid July - literally the day I’d have broken up for the summer holidays so I couldn’t really have timed it any worse financially!

At the moment we have a bit of a nightmare situation with childcare where a local nursery closed very suddenly which of course then our subsequent pressure on all the other nurseries and childminders. So while we weren’t directly affected, I’m a bit worried that if I reduce DS’s hours, I may not then get them back.

On the other hand, his nursery fees will be in the region of £700 a month if I keep him in for three days from July until December. That takes most of my maternity pay during that period and will actually be more once I’m on SMP, though hopefully the funded hours will kick in then.

I do have a small personal income though and also as lovely as DS is he’s full on and I do find winter tough going so tempted just to keep him in for three days as he is now.

Why would you waste £700 a month to have your 2 year old looked after?? Keep him home save the money and take care of your babies. I had 2 children under 6 and a severely unwell newborn and I coped so I’m sure you’ll be fine.

I’d keep him home, 6x700 is £4200!!! I’m pretty sure you could entertain him on cold days and get a holiday/new carpets/whatever on what you’ve saved.

I’d reduce it to maybe a day a week to keep his place at least and give yourself a small break when the baby comes . Also where does your husbands financial contributions feature ?

If you can, I would send him to nursery for a few days a week. Even though you’re at home, there’s no guarantee that your newborn will be easy - plus there are all the benefits of nursery for socialisation as he hits three and is approaching school preparation year.

I am in a similar position although fortunate to have full pay for six months on mat leave - but my baby is due in July just before his brother turns two. I am keeping DS1 in nursery for 3-4 days a week so that I have time to bond with the new baby and do all the mad time consuming nonsense a newborn requires. DH can’t take much paternity leave. We might review it in a month if DS2 is a breeze (DS1 had a lot of sleep and eating problems, it was really stressful and probably not representative of a ’normal’ newborn) but I think give yourself a break at least for the first few months of your new baby.

Good luck

I’m on Mat leave and have a 4 year old. She’s lovely but I breathe a sigh of relief when dropping her at nursery 3 days. I have needed that 1-1 time with my baby and she has needed her routine so I would say keep him in some days if you can x

DD1 continued in nursery when I was on mat leave with DD2. She would have really missed her friends and the activities there, and it has long waiting lists so she'd never have got back in if we'd stopped. Plus I loved having proper bonding time with DD2. I would have really struggled on my own with a newborn and toddler, especially if DH worked away. The nursery will give you a break.

Definitely keep him in nursery. See all the posts on here about being alone with two under two and feeling knackered- you will need the break to sleep and/or bond with DC2 and it is good for DC1 to have continuity