Would you move? DH and I have different views...

[BackyardDreamer]

Hi MNers, I'm hoping for someone to give me some perspective on the age old, to move or not to move question! It's long so you have all the detail you need, hopefully.

We're a family of 4 (preschool age and under) living in a 3rd floor flat in a pricey mid-sized Australian city. Our local property market is staying flat/slumping a tiny bit, so I'm considering whether now would be a good time to move to a house. DH is reluctant to move, so would take some persuading.

Current flat pros

• The flat is really nice (relatively modern inside, all electric, well insulated, we never hear the neighbours, ensuite, eat-in counter in kitchen, two basement car parks and small storage cage).
• It's in a great area (really bright and open, nice views for now, the complex has a couple of large grassy spaces for kids to play, safe neighbourhood with great primary schools, albeit a 20 min walk away, and several miles from the high schools). We're a 15 min drive from work and the city centre.

Current flat cons

• No backyard, and balcony is rarely used with the young kids.
• One of the bedrooms has a high window and no built-in wardrobes (the norm here) so it would do as a bedroom, but isn't brilliant.
• The complex also is up for a hefty repair bill for roofing and balcony works (estimated at 10k GBP per flat, and it is being contested by some owners. I've been living with mould in one ceiling for 18m, and now a cut out of the roof covered with plywood. Potentially it will be 18m until repaired.)
• The open fields next door will probably be built on, starting sometime in the next 5 years.
• Very limited storage... two built in wardrobes and the narrowest pantry you've probably seen.

Alternative house pros and cons
The types of houses we could afford would be a 1980s to 2000s-built house of around 1,100 sq ft on a ~5,000 sq ft block. It'd be 3 beds, 1 bathroom, and if lucky, there might be a double garage or second bathroom). It'd be around the same sq footage as our current place, and most likely older.

Public transport would be about the same, and we could probably get closer to a school and a secondary sized shopping centre, but twice as far from the city centre.

I'm open to only considering low maintenance houses and backyards that are close to good schools and small local shops, but there's little I can do about the mortgage doubling and commute time (except there's a chance DH would be able to transfer to a workplace closer to home, and I can wfh 2 days).

My view
I want to move to a house because I can't see us living in a flat as the kids get older. I feel like we go out a lot on the weekend because I don't like the kids being inside all day. I want a backyard so they can play outside - water play in summer, trampolines, home birthday parties etc - and the option to grow some veggies, install solar panels, relax outside while the kids play, and have bbqs with friends outside (we do this every couple of months, but we would do it so our friends with the biggest house can have a break from hosting!). DH could do with an area for his gym equipment (right now he's taken over the third bedroom).

Moving now vs later
The reason I want to look into this now is the price of houses feels within reach, but house price increases will outpace what we can save once interest rates start going down. Being completely honest, neither of us have help in any sense from our families, so I would like to have enough equity and capital appreciation so we can downsize when the kids move out and fund retirement or help them get started.

We can port our very low rate mortgage for the next two years, but we'd need to double the mortgage, and the remainder would be at current rates. I think things would be tight for the first few years (as in, not as tight as mat leave, definitely no expensive holidays or gadgets, minimal savings, but all bills met and a bit leftover to save or spend. I'm in a very stable job and promotion is likely on the cards in the next year or two, with regular pay increases from there).

I'd also like to get out now because I think it would be harder to sell while there are building works in the complex, or when that's finished, when next door is being built up.

Lastly, we would need to sell first and buy after, because of the portability rules and our risk appetites. It seems much easier to do this in a slower market.

DH's view
Doesn't want to leave the safe neighbourhood, excellent primary school, or close location to the city/work. He likes having two bathrooms. Any new place would be doubling our commute time. He thinks flat is big enough for us, and he doesn't want to fix up an older place or spend more time on yardwork or cleaning. He'd rather have extra cash than a bigger mortgage. The older the kids get, the less likely they are to appreciate outside space.

His preferred option is staying put, or failing that, asking our ground floor neighbour if he'd be open to selling us his flat (identical to ours), to get some outside space (~800 sq ft, half patio, half grass).

I think the halfway option would buy us time, but would be the best and worst of all worlds - small yard and no ability to make changes (eg adding solar or extensions), and all the worst of the common charges and renovation work.

WWYD? Thanks for any views!

I really like the garden flat.

I'm also a bit with your DH, I'm not seeing the value of a house particularly. But I do think others are right that if you stay he needs to give up the third bedroom as a gym.

If you do move then he can have a garage gym. Would that swing it for him?

Move. We loved our flat and weren't ready to leave, but were worried we'd be priced out of an upsize. We've been in our house nearly a year and the outside space has been life-changing for us. We're so glad to be rid of hefty service charges. It was a very scary decision but we've had zero regrets.

I’m in favour of the move but probably to the flat based on the options you presented. I’m also saying DH needs to get rid of his space.

We’re in the process of moving. Our mortgage advisor believes that interest rates are going to stay at similar levels for the next couple of years but longer term they should come back down again. This is based on the UK.

We are moving further from DH’s work but we will make gains in other areas, we’re gaining an extra bedroom, a utility room, two extra bathrooms including an en-suite, a study for me, a playroom and a garage. We’re also gaining in location. On paper it’s a worse location (which is why we can make such a big jump) but we’re actually going to be closer to the things that are important to us for the next 15-20 years - shops, schools, transport links. Our fixed term has ended so our mortgage has gone up anyway and so the difference between our current mortgage and new mortgage is about £200 a month, it’s going to be really tight but I’d rather pay that extra and be in something we can see ourselves in for a while than miss the opportunity and be priced out.

I wanted a garden and I know once DD is no longer a toddler she won’t get much use of the garden but I want to use the outside space, have friends over for a BBQ, sit out on a nice evening with a book and a glass of wine. So outside space would be quite important to me. However, I also wanted to think about DD as a teenager. So what is she going to do, is there public transport links so we don’t have to drive her everywhere. Will she be able to walk to a friends house.

If you’re moving, and especially if you’re concerned about the cost/a recession, it needs to be a house that you can see yourself in for the next 10-20 years. The kids are going to want their own rooms and so if DH wants his own space for a gym then you’ll need to move to a place with a garage and the trade off for him might be a longer commute.

Another vote for stay. Just wanted to comment specifically on garden and lawn maintenance which, even for a ‘low maintenance’ property, can take up an extraordinary amount of time if you want to keep it looking good. I don’t mind the work itself, but when you have young kids and are working it can be a real burden. We recently moved from a house with a smallish but decent sized back and front yard to a house with a fully decked smallish outdoor area and just garden beds. So no mowing and only sweeping leaves once a week. The time saving has been huge. I think also living close to a park makes a difference. Most inner/ish city houses have small yards anyway so for me, to give the kids a real run-around the park is best.

Also, while your body Corp/strata fees may be annoying, it’s a huge advantage having someone else manage maintenance so you can be essentially totally hands-off. Unlike a house.

Ground floor flat would be my choice, along with getting your DH to get rid of the exercise equipment to allow you to use all the bedrooms for their intended purpose, and he can join a gym instead.

I’d move, I would work very hard to not bring up kids in a flat. The trampoline is our most used part of the house and garden, and once he turned 7 my eldest started playing basketball outside non stop. I’m in australia also.
also, there is no way I would stay in a flat with the gym equipment getting a whole room. If he wants to fit into a flat he will have to do it without taking a whole room for himself!! I agree visiting houses is the right starting point. That middle one looked lovely, no idea why it wouldn’t appreciate? ( I’m not in the ACT)

In your situation I’d do the house every time ( and I say this as someone who has to be dragged kicking and screaming to the burbs). Your kids will struggle to have their mates over in a flat when they get a bit older - as you’ve described no ball games, water fights/blow up pools, bouncing on the tramp, basketball etc. It’ll get better when they are older, but it’s bliss being able to shove them in the backyard and get on with stuff as opposed to having to accompany them to the park.

I would be curious to know how many people recommending to stay put are in Oz. It’s a really different lifestyle and imo inner city housing isn’t as kid friendly as in Uk/Europe.

I also think getting your DH out for a look is a good idea. It might take a couple of goes to get him used to the suburb, find a nice cafe/pub to try out etc

If all else equal, I’d also consider whether you’ll get the long term capital gains from a flat versus house, especially if it gets built out. That could be important when you need/want to make another move