Can I assign my life decisions to someone else please?

[Ambata]

Just feels like too much rn.

Ex mil diagnosed with dementia, looks like my own mother heading that way, lots of driving across country, lots of her not knowing what's going on while my father stands around shouting at everyone to no good effect (his habitual approach to life). Meanwhile ex-h is responding to his mother's diag by going AWOL (can understand) and confounding his relationship with dcs. One DC in y13, fucked up his mat as a result so even though predicted aaa*a at a level getting rejected for the unis he wants. Everything is falling apart and I am TIRED. Can I outsource?

Sorry trying again, DC in y13 predicted 3a* and a at a level but cocked up the mat due to his father going awol, now getting rejections back and it stings him

What is the mat?
your ex and his mother aren't your problem (and it's not an excuse for him not to step up)
As for your father take time out or tell him not to shout. I mean this kindly but you need to work on your boundaries.
What are you doing to take care of yourself? even if it's a bath, nice book etc.

Thank you for your answer. The mat is the Maths Admissions Test. You need to pass it to get into Oxford/imperial and ds failed it.

I know I need to work on boundaries. My father used to hit me, he broke some bones when I was a child. But yeah now I'm an adult. I need to find a way through that.

Your son hasn't failed his test because of his father. If he didn't pass, then he needs to apply for something else.

Take care of yourself, stop worrying about your ex-MIL, and stop worrying about your son, he is big enough to take responsibility for himself

good luck xx

Don't be hard on yourself can you get some counselling? also there's helplines like NAPAC for abuse survivors.
Your DC that age is stressful- can the school offer any support?
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate