Neurodiverse or Neurotypical?

[LucasTheSpider]

26 month old daughter...

Excellent vocabulary. Picks up new words daily. Advanced for her age (hyperlexic?).

Loves numbers, letters, colours, shapes.

Always counting - (can count to 10) and knows all main colours and loads of shapes.

Makes good eye contact.

Sometimes walks on her tip-toes (once or twice a day).

Plays pretend.

Has twirled her wrists and fingers since birth. Does this frequently. Recently started finger flicking as well.

Doesn't arm flap, but when she wants something she holds out her arms and flaps her hands/wrists.

Lines up her toys.

Doesn't like the sounds of hand dryers / vacuum, but not overly bothered by other loud noises.

Quite limited with food intake. Toast, chips, nuggets, fruit. Will not touch vegetables! Reluctant to try new foods.

Responds to her name.

Tenses arms/trembles when she becomes excited.

Looks to where I am pointing.

Smiles back when being smiled at.

Recently interest in turning lights on and off.

Limited sleep. Wakes at 7am. Sometimes naps for 45-60 mins during the day, but sometimes doesn't. Can be up til 9/10/11pm.

Used to spin around in circles a lot when she was younger. Doesn't do it so much now, but perhaps 4 or 5 times a week.

Sometimes doesn't want to wear clothes and will try and pull them off when I've dressed her.

You're describing my daughter a couple of years ago, down to a tee! Some of these things I'd even forgotten. AFAIK my daughter is NT. She was a very "high needs" baby (if you go along with that theory) and still is at 4yo. Very emotional and serious, and very bright. She is a bit quirky and can be very hard work but I think she's brilliant!

Sorry this isn't much help to you but I couldn't believe I hadn't written this list!

I have this 4yo too! She still lines her books up in the evenings before deciding what she wants to read at bed time. Starting to get better about eating more varied food but was really limited when she was younger. Her sleep as always been pretty good though (unlike my 2yo who just will NOT sleep through the night)

She's 2.

These are all things that 2 year olds do.

Sounds fairly normal. Is she happy? If she's happy and reaching milestone's I wouldn't worry.

She's very happy. People often comment on how much of a happy child she is. She has the usual 2 year old tantrums when her banana is peeled too far, her dummy is the wrong colour, she doesn't want to wear her shoes etc etc.. but in general, she's a happy soul and definitely meeting all her milestones.

My brother is autistic and unfortunately, he was never diagnosed as a child. I guess back in the 80's neurodiversity wasn't considered as much as it is today. Being autistic really affected his education and childhood and I think, had he have been diagnosed as a child, perhaps support options would have been made available to him.
I sometimes work alongside a mental health nurse (I'm not in the health service myself), and she conformed that neurodiversities are biological (hereditary).

Being a social media user, I've had videos pop up showing traits of children with autism, and my girl has some of them. But then again, I guess, from reading the responses above, these traits can also be things that neurotypical children do too. I assume it's the frequency which would help to indicate a neurodiversity.
Perhaps I am a little oversensitive about the subject because I've seen my brother grow up without professional support and I've seen how he's struggled a lot through life - so want to ensure that if my daughter would benefit from any extra support, that she has access to it.

She's just being 2, as 2 year olds do.

If she's autistic then it sounds like she's going to be high functioning and at this age when you're high functioning it can be hard to be sure. I'd say there are certainly things to suggest she could be - not least because you have ASD in the family. I put everything with ds down to his age, he sounds similar to your daughter, and he was diagnosed at 10. It tends to become a lot more obvious as they get towards secondary age.

I would say keep a note from now on of anything that could suggest it (it's surprising how much you forget as they get older) as it will be really, really helpful if she does ever go for assessment. And for now just enjoy her, you can't change whether she is or isn't, and can't do anything to influence it so just enjoy and note anything relevant down.

Are you seriously expecting a bunch of random people on the Internet to diagnose your two year-old child?

@LucasTheSpider I'd keep an eye on her as she develops and see how it goes. There's the mchatr assessment tool online if you are still concerned.

Why in God’s name are people so keen to diagnose their children as autistic?! There’s another thread today about a 10 month old. Just bizarre.

Thanks for your helpful comment 🙄🍪

I am not keen to diagnosed my daughter with autism!! I would rather she not be diagnosed with autism. If you've read one of my replies above regarding my brother and his struggles with autism, maybe you'll understand or at least appreciate where I am coming from. Not being understood and supported effectively during his childhood/adolescence has resulted in a very hard life for him. He suffers greatly with depression and is at times suicidal. Rude for anyone to suggest that I am keen to want that for my daughter!
If there is any chance my daughter is autistic, I think it is very important to know so that I am then best placed to support her and ensure she has access to whatever external support is available. I am just trying to be a good parent.

Op, ignore the negative comments. It sounds like you feel like there might be something there, which could be anxiety because of your brother or mum instinct. ASD is so much harder to spot in girls so you are right to be vigilant. Does she go to a nursery? Maybe have a chat with them first and see if they have any concerns/noticed anything. My son is 3.5 and I'm 99% will be diagnosed ASD, so many more traits have started to come out since he was 3 vs 2. So it might be a bit of a watch and wait. She sounds like she's doing really well and if she hasn't got any developmental delays right now I wouldn't worry too much about early intervention.

From what you have written, she just sounds like a NT two year old.
There is a big genetic component to autism, but it doesn't mean you need to be worried. Even if she does have traits it doesn't mean she will have enough to ever meet the diagnostic criteria and it may never negatively affect her.
If anything it means you will be more attune to traits in her and ready to accept help and support if its needed- so if she does happen to be autistic it won't be missed her entire childhood like your brothers.
As she is happy right now- I wouldn't worry about anything.

I agree with a pp, keep a record of her milestones and any concerns you have. We are currently going through asd assessment with my 16yr old ds and there has been a lot of questions to answer about when he was a toddler and his early development. Thank god I kept a diary as it's hard to remember certain things such as when they learnt to talk, when they were potty trained, when they first sat up or rolled over. They ask whether they point, wave, play alone, or play imaginatively etc. It all builds a picture. I don't think you need to worry yet, it's still very early, but definitely keep records and be prepared to ask nursery for their opinion when she starts at 3.

It could be worth chatting with your daughters health visitor about it. Or, if she goes to a nursery/childminder to speak with them. You're absolutely right to feel that early recognition is important and can really help to get support in early.

There are huge moves away now from terms like 'high functioning' alongside the recognition that we don't know what's going on underneath the surface for people. Autism is no longer diagnosed using these terms. And this is another reason why early support can be so important, helping to introduce strategies and things early on.

Sometimes young children do express their feelings in quite physical ways, especially excitement. To be fair we all do! Thinking of my partner when his football team score And sometimes children do get 'stuck' on a repetitive action for a while. But as a rule the majority of 2 year olds are not exhibiting these all of the time. It's about frequency and context as you say. I would maybe keep a note of how often you are seeing your daughter's responses and when. And perhaps look at information around sensory processing too.

And I 100% get why you've asked on here - there aren't many other places where you are able to reach so many other parents for advice and odds are someone will have been in the same boat.

I was going to say, you must have autism in the family, because there’s no way you’d be obsessing over all those things and wondering about them, otherwise.

A lot of that sounds similar to my DD at that age, and it didn’t occur to me to wonder about autism. She is NT.

If you have genuine concerns, I hope you’re able to speak with someone. And then just get on and enjoy her / her childhood.

She sounds like she's in the normal range of 2 year olds. If you described a 6 year old like that, then they would be traits.

I agree with keeping track of her habits/ milestones so you can see if they progress normally or stall and slip under the normal range and seek advice down the line, but at this point, it doesn't sound like a pattern of outlying behaviours.

With hindsight, there were some clues about DS at that age such as attentitively watching Thomas/ Fireman Sam DVDs on repeat for a couple of hours, but there wasn't enough pattern to investigate until he was 7 and the meltdowns and social skills had clearly slipped out of the normal range.

Hi how’s your DD now ? X