What are your thoughts on this child?

[whatareyourthoughtsplease]

I would like to know if you think this is just her personality quirks or if there's anything else going on?

Girl, aged five

When she was little, she didn't like loud hand dryers/hairdryers and hoovers, but she is mostly okay with them now

Some sensory issues regarding food, but she's usually willing to try new things

Doesn't like having her hair brushed, but again, will sit with a little persuasion

Some sensory issues with clothes -she won't flat out refuse, but again takes a little persuasion

At school, she's described as being distracted and not very focused lack of concentration. They described her as flitting from one activity to another. This doesn't seem to affect her learning though she still able to retain what she has learnt

Seems to prefer adult company in the playground at school. She does have lots of friends there and is very social and her friends adore her.

Often becomes very attached to a special toy, especially in unfamiliar places, almost like a comfort thing

No problems with eye contact or social skills

Can be very fidgety at times, ants in the pants type, always on the go

Any thoughts welcome, thank you.

I'm a teacher.

First of all, most teachers know very little about autism. I've been on two 'Understanding austism' training days in 16 years of teaching. Everything I've learnt, I've learnt through experience.

Secondly, this teacher sounds very inexperienced. There's no such thing as a 'tiny bit of autism'.

Thirdly, it's not her place to be suggesting it without having spoken to the SENDCo first. Who would most certainly not be advising she mention 'a tiny bit of autism' to you herself.

Fwiw, she sounds like many 5 year olds.

If you are concerned, arrange to speak with the SENDCo about it. Share your concerns and what you've been told.

We had no idea our eldest DD was autistic until she hit secondary school. The things OP is describing could have described her at a similar age - particularly the following teachers around at break time. Her autism never really affected her learning (she has a 1st in pharmacology from a top university). As she got older she became more & more affected socially and she is now struggling with jobs due to the social nature of them.

How will this thread be identifying for you? There are thousands of 5 year old girls exactly as you describe across the country. There isn’t anything in it that could be remotely identifying

As PP’s have said, sounds extremely typical of standard 5yo behaviours. 8 is usually the youngest you will receive a diagnosis for anything too unless there are a lot of additional needs that present prominently which it doesn’t sound like there is.

I'll go against the grain and say I wouldn't ignore a teacher's concerns. They are not experts, but they are experts at children who stand out in large groups. My own DS had very similar tiny fusses at around age 3. Age 7 it is pretty clear he is neurodivergent.

Agree that there's no such thing as a tiny bit of autism, however if the teacher is raising concerns I would take note of that because many parents of autistic girls have the opposite experience in that school don't see a problem. My autistic DD showed some signs at 5 but it became very apparent to us by 10. The teacher was still surprised when she got her diagnosis.

Sounds like ADHD to me more than Autism but I am no expert. That said a lot of what you are saying sounds like it barely affects her day to day activities.

For example, my daughter has most of these things and plenty more that have her under SEND undergoing diagnosis.

She hates loud noises but it's not just a "cover your ears and walk by" thing. It stops her in her tracks and she gets absolutely hysterical. Can't go through dark tunnels (screaming, crying and fighting at the Zoo was a fun one), terrified of lifts and trains etc.

Is physically uncomfortable with labels to the point of distraction, pulling at them, ripping them out, scratching at her skin where they sit and taking clothes off (she spent a large amount of her time younger in the buff or wearing very loose clothes at home). She is a picker too and will obsessively pick her cuticles, scabs, spots, anything that irritates her skin to the point of infection which impacts her health.

She will be trying really hard to concentrate at school, will start a piece of work and then will just completely lose herself zoning out. Teacher says it's like she is fine then a switch goes off and she can sit there for 5 minutes plus if not prompted just staring. When people say distracted they don't just mean "oh look something is happening else were", they mean totally not focussed on ANYTHING. It's a big misconception.

Hyperfocus, so not flitting between things, rather so focussed on one thing that nothing else gets done, has to be physically touched on the shoulder to hear us/the teacher calling her. Focussed to the point she would wet herself in fact, thankfully she has now got a handle on this with lots of reminders.

I guess what I am trying to say is yes, your DD might show traits of some of these things but if they are having no negative effect and aren't debilitating to the point it negatively affects her life then they are normal childhood issues.

I hope this helps show you the difference between normal childhood things that are falsely interpreted as Autism/ADHD and what it really can look like to flag up investigation.

I should add, that's not to say your DD doesn't have it of course and you should work with the teachers. It will at a minimum flag up if she needs extra support.

Oh and (apologies for the thread spam), despite her showing all these clear symptoms her last school didn't see anything wrong with her (between 5-7). It wasn't until she was 8 that it became clear it wasn't just an age thing and was actually something needing looked at (and a new school).

Thank you to everyone.lots to think about

This sounds all very typical for a 5 year old. Two of my dc were just like this, one is dyspraxic the other isn't.

We had no idea our eldest DD was autistic until she hit secondary school. The things OP is describing could have described her at a similar age - particularly the following teachers around at break time

Same here.

Well, we knew something was going on but we just kept being told she was “normal”, it was “just” anxiety.

It all came to a head when she started high school, and then had a mental health breakdown 3 years ago

I would keep an open mind and have a chat with the teacher.

My DD would make eye contact - she forces herself to do it though as it’s what is considered the norm, she hates it though. Similar with hair brushing, sensory stuff, etc. She masks

This was DD at 5 she was finally diagnosed at 15 but had serious difficulties from age 10

DD is currently at Uni and Girl bossing every thing in her usual fashion

Funnily enough the only early years teacher who saw anything was a reception teacher first year post qualification as DD is the queen of masking

Honestly, tuck the comment away, bear it in mind but at this stage please don’t worry too much

Sounds like every other 5 year old ive ever met.

I'm a SENCo. If a class teacher came to me with this list, I would think possible sensory processing difficulties. The lack of focus does fit the ADHD narrative but both ASD and ADHD can have some similar crossover behaviours. She is still very young for any kind of diagnosis remember though that girls are more tricky to diagnose than boys as they are good at masking, so it may be worth keeping an open dialogue with the school. The main thing to be concerned about at 5 is her happiness and well-being. If you are worried then do contact your SENCo. The other thing you can do is ask for a referral to CAMHS. In my area there is a three year waiting list, so you could sit on the waiting list and by the time she is 8, things will be much clearer.

My DS at 5 fit your description almost fully, at 10 he’s going through neurodevelopmental assessment. He simply hadn’t grown out of things that would be in the spectrum of normal development. I’d keep it tucked in the back of your mind and keep a watchful eye just now.

Another vote for speaking further with the teacher and SenCo to understand any concerns. A lot of what you may read online about ASD assessment won’t necessarily be a good description for academically capable girls as they have so often slipped under the radar up til now. I don’t think it can hurt to be watchful and as others have said, if school want to fill out paperwork for an assessment at this point it may be a good thing as waiting lists are very long.

She sounds like my DC who, despite me constantly asking at school, was only deemed to be 'quirky' and normal, but when we paid for the asd assessment was found to be unswervingly autistic. DC was popular and when had a close friend was actually about that friend needing DC, not the other way round. It really was one is company two is a crowd sometimes. Any birthday part would be fully attended but DC has never had a sleep over or close friend. Now it's harder to hide the gap in friendships. Other symptoms include daydreaming a lot, high intelligence and high grades which can also hide their school struggles. The eye contact thing is deceptive as I fell for that one. Turns out all this time DC has been looking at people's nose or eyebrow, not actually in their eyes but this was picked up by the psychologist who knew what to look for.

Girls mask and compensate much more than boys so are much harder to detect, but I bet she's asd.