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Original poster

Work or holiday?

19 replies

Newlifenewme · 15/03/2023 13:02

It’s long but Il try give as much info as I can without drip feeding.

We haven’t been on holiday for 8 years. No weekends away nothing. During this time we have been saving to buy our first house. Our three kids have had little in the treat department and life’s been a bit tough in other ways too.

We bought a house last year! Which is fab and we’ve booked to go in holiday this summer. All good and well deserved.

2 years ago I gave up the job I loved for one with more stability and looked better for mortgage purposes. I hate this new job, it makes me tired and stressed everyday but I’ve ground on so we can pay the bills. Even more reason to look forward to the holiday.

Ive been offered a new job in a field il enjoy more. It’s slightly more money and more chance of progression. I know Il be happier. The thing is I have to go away for 5 weeks. One of these weeks is the family holiday that everyone is looking forward to.

I suggested DH and kids go in the holiday and I do the work thing. DH says this is selfish as everybody is looking forward to going together. I’ve tried to see if I can juggle things around but no luck. It’s those dates or no job. I also feel shit as I feel I need a break after the last 2 years. DH said I can do what I want, but I get the feeling he’ll be gutted if we all can’t go.

Due to other reasons holiday can’t be moved but we could possibly squeeze in a weekend away later in the year just the two of us no kids.

wwyd?

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 15/03/2023 13:31

Work.

Assume that wfh at wherever you are going is not an option?

mdh2020 · 15/03/2023 13:33

I think you should take the job. You and your DH have to look long term. My DH tool the DC away for half terms when I was at Uni - we knew it was only a temporary arrangement. Years later, I was offered the chance to work in China and was away for his birthday. I’ve also been away on our anniversary. Let’s all be adults here.

Lovelyveg82 · 15/03/2023 13:36

If your new employer wants you, they will wait a couple of weeks for a holiday already booked

Lovelyveg82 · 15/03/2023 13:37

So wait.

you have to go away for 5 weeks and one week a holiday and… we’ll I am confused

Pr1mr0se · 15/03/2023 13:39

Yes it's bad luck that your job starts during a planned holiday and I sympathise with the dilemma and your husband's (probable) frustration. However, I agree with mdh2020 and I would take the job and the long term view if I was in your position. I'd also expect my husband to be supportive of my job and the jolly good reasons for taking it. Congratulations on your new job, I hope you take it.

123rd · 15/03/2023 13:40

I also think if the employer wants you then they will honour any holiday you have already booked.
In previous jobs , and with new joiners joining my team, it's always been honoured.

thisplaceisweird · 15/03/2023 13:43

Can you speak to your employer and explain the bad timing before making a decision either way? Is there any flexibility at all?

Original poster
Newlifenewme · 15/03/2023 13:56

Yer I’ve explained the holiday and it was a no from them. It would put out other members of existing staff if they had to shuffle things around so I understand why.

DH is supportive. He’d be disappointed but he’d never say I couldn’t do what I wanted. He also has no problems having the kids on his own because he practically does this in school holidays anyway so it’s not that, he’s just upset we can’t all go together. Maybe sulk a bit until he’s there sunning himself up in the beach haha

I think I’m going to have to take the job aren’t I? Lol

OP posts:
AviMav · 15/03/2023 13:57

Have you are told the company you have a holiday booked on those dates?

How often would you have to go away in the future? I can see why your DH wouldn't want to take 3 kids away on his own too.

mindutopia · 15/03/2023 13:58

Personally, I would take the job. You can postpone the holiday or your dh can take the kids alone. I've taken my dc away alone when dh had to work and I leave him alone with the dc at home every year for a solo holiday of my own. He's never gone up in smoke in my absence. A holiday is such a short time in your life. Who knows, you could all get COVID or norovirus or something else and need to cancel. But work is every day of your life. It's a bit shit you can't do both, but I would prioritise the longer term.

Lovelyveg82 · 15/03/2023 15:32

An odd job that would result in withdraw al of a job offer due to holiday booked before the job offer!!

Original poster
Newlifenewme · 15/03/2023 21:53

The holiday time is quite generous so we’d definitely be able to go away later in the year. Just bad luck we’ve booked this holiday within this mandatory period.

OP posts:
Laptopneeded · 15/03/2023 22:32

If holidays are generous and you can go away later in the year its a no brainer!!

Starseeking · 15/03/2023 23:00

The holiday is one week; I'd imagine it's when your whole team is booked for crucial training or something.

Of course you should take the job. Long-term you'd be far happier, plus with the extra holiday and extra money you can take lots more holidays!

ChateauMargaux · 02/08/2023 22:28

Is your son fairly independent when playing with his cousins / can you leave him in the care of his relatives?

Noise cancelling headphones? Or could you download a series of yoga nidra sessions that you simply must do every day for an hour, on your own?

Is there any excuse you can use to lock yourself away and pretend to do something work related?

Megamopyeah · 02/08/2023 22:33

Take the job. The holiday will long be forgotten and you’ll be stuck in a job you hate.

ChateauMargaux · 02/08/2023 22:34

Then maybe could you see about borrowing your relatives car and taking the cousins and your son out for a bit.. early morning fun walk somewhere.. late evening picnic / fire and marshmallows.. stargazing walk? Or organise games for them that need your input so you don't have to engage with your mother. I have no idea if any of these are even vaguely possible...

ChateauMargaux · 02/08/2023 22:35

Woah... no idea what happened there.. totally the wrong thread

FrazzledFirefly · 02/08/2023 22:39

Zombie thread, but I'm interested in what OP did in the end?

OP, what did you do?

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