Feeling stressed about neighbour complaints

[Celia24]

Late last year the pipes in my area froze and caused endless boilers and washing machines to break. My machine was one of them as no sooner had I started a wash it started leaking downstairs and the plumbers had many similar calls. There was no issue with the machine itself, they just had to unfreeze the pipes.

The neighbour came up and demanded I come downstairs with her to look at the water coming through her ceiling..which would've been stupid because the first thing I needed to do was stop the problem. So I stopped the machine, mopped up the water, phoned the plumber and then went to see her (all within 15-20mins).

She gave me an earful about my priorities, eventually slamming the door in my face. I've avoided her since but feel tense about bumping into her.

While I was working from home today I heard several knocks at the door, then a note was left saying my vibrating machine is causing the pictures on her wall to shake - 'you need to do something about this'. I now feel even more stressed and I feel she thinks she can boss me around and be disrespectful. Should I ignore her? I don't even know what to do about the supposed issue

Very unusual for it to leak through the roof as soon as you switch it on, it must have been leaking foe some time if you had to mop it up in your home.

personally I’d have left the mopping up and went to see her flat.

I don’t think you can ignore her, that’s a bit shit isn’t it.

I would cut her a bit of slack with the leak, I've been in that situation before and panicked, it's a horrible feeling knowing your property is being damaged and you have no control over it, she could have just been stressed even though you were doing your best to sort it. It sounds like she now has a grudge against you and is looking for things to hold over you, but you can get vibration absorbing mats for washing machines if you want to try that to placate her.

Very badly built house! Is it a house split into flats? How can the structure be so bad it doesn’t have any sound / vibration or water insulation?!

@Cheeseandhoney the water was dripping through the floor into her ceiling, there was no way I could leave it like that. It had flooded the kitchen.

I didn't ignore her, I went to see her fairly quickly after calling a plumber. As I said the water had nowhere to go due to the frozen pipes so it went straight down.

@MissLucyLiu Its an old Victorian set of flats. Beautiful inside but I can feel the vibrations of trucks going by outside, so it must have some issues.

I’ve been in your position and I’ve also been in your neighbours position and she is being unreasonable (assuming you fixed the damage the water caused). Unfortunately it’s a hazard of living in flats. Maybe put the machine on a rubber mat to dampen the vibrations just to help ease tensions with you and the neighbour.

The leak is one thing but if she's now going to complain about every little thing you could have issues. Do you own or rent? Does she own or rent?

This is my concern @CaroleSinger - is this just the tip of the iceberg, more complaints incoming?

I own. It's my first flat and I'm 30. She owns and has lived there for 25 years, recently retired. She lives on the ground floor, so doesn't need to worry about the inevitable issues that sometimes crop up as part of living on other floors like @ChilliBandit pointed out.

When my washing machine burst and flooded and it dripped downstairs they were really good.

I mopped up and got rid of it all.

Inspected their ceiling and asked if they wanted arrange quotes themselves to sort it or if they like me to do it.

They then washed and dried all my dripping wet towels for me.

Funny how people's reactions are completely different.

The electrician said let light dry and he'd check safety. It was fine. The neighbours then wanted to change the type of light they had which cost £20 (just happened to have a conversation rather than them asking) and so I got them a voucher for B and Q to pay for it as a thankyou.

No one had a hissy and everyone realised it was a PITA that couldn't exactly be predicted!

Check your washing machine - they can move out of balance and rattle much more than they need to. You might need to adjust the feet to reduce that.

As for the leak, I've been both the leaker and the person on the receiving end. It's stressful all round. Did you have her ceiling repainted etc? Insurance claim?

@RedCarsGoFaster yes the damage to her ceiling has been resolved.

I can check the feet and add an anti-vibration mat. She also wrote on the note she doesn't want the water issue to happen again - there is really no way for me to guarantee this.

I'm feeling stressed about living here. I worry I'll meet her in the hall and feel trepidation when I come home. It's upsetting tbh. Apparently my relative used to work with her and she was always rubbing people up the wrong way.

She's being unreasonable. I live in a new build terraced house. When my washing machine spins all the furniture on the ground floor shakes, it's like an earthquake. When my neighbours' washing machines spin it feels like the after shocks and the furniture still shakes. No one complains, it's just how it is.

Living in a lower-floor flat does come with inevitable issues, including noises (however careful they are) from the residents above. There is only so much that people such as you can do about minimising the issue.

Well that's not normal .

I now feel even more stressed because I live alone and had a go at moving it to look at the feet and it's just too heavy ☹️

My friend is coming over tomorrow but she's a woman and I'm not sure we'll be able to manoeuvre it between us. I might need to get a bloke to help.

I have at least bought the anti vibration kit but just no way of actually moving the machine out unless I'm missing a special technique.

Celia24

I can check the feet and add an anti-vibration mat.

Yes, definitely check that the feet are screwed down, so that they are all touching the floor. Do a wash and stay nearby to observe, if it's shaking violently, the bearing may have gone and should be replaceable for £60 to £80. If not, you've done all you can be expected to do reasonably.

She also wrote on the note she doesn't want the water issue to happen again - there is really no way for me to guarantee this.

That's ridiculous and unrealistic of her, it's not as if you're flooding the bathroom every week! Of course you can't guarantee it, you're not the blimming Goddess of Weather, causing a frost!

I had one of these OP. I ignored it and the behaviour escalated. So my advice is to tell her to fuck off, loud and clear, next time she opens her gob to complain. Let her see you won't be pushed around. You own, so her opinion of you is irrelevant, no landlords for her to lie to. Washing machine could be rattly due to uneven floor. There's only so much adjusting the feet can help with that. Put your earphones in, switch your radio on and ignore her as you enter and exit, apart from telling her to fuck off. She's one of those who thinks she's more important than others. All you're doing is living a normal life, don't pander to her nonsense

You didn’t do anything wrong with the water leak. You had to fix it immediately. You are addressing the vibration issue, so worry. It sounds like she is bored, and possibly trying to get a little more drama out of the leaking washing machine. Just ignore her, maybe get a ring doorbell so you can speak to her without opening the door. Or just don’t answer at all.

You can buy a set of wheels to put under furniture to move it if it is heavy. For stuff that is not too heavy I slip a towel underneath and drag/push it along on that. A washing machine might be too heavy for a towel though.

Your neighbour was being unreasonable. I don't see why she made you come and look. You knew that water was leaking and we're taking steps to fix it, not like you expressed any disbelief or anything!

I'd ignore her if I were you but if she keeps at it then try and think of a cutting reply. As she's leaving you notes she probably doesn't like confrontation so at the next note I'd ring on her bell and make it very clear you won't be bullied by her (not in a nasty way, just be assertive and lay out the facts of living in an apartment).

You need to push it upwards towards one 'foot' and 'swing' it, but you need wiggle space to do that. It's easier to get a 'pillow/cushion'. They sit on top of the machine. They slide in to a small gap then you inflate them.

you'll be there days trying to get the balance with the feet if you can't do them in place.

I managed to get a band towel between the machine & worktopwhich has been fine for over a year, but it's finally worked it's way out & I can't get it back in the right place. So I need to order it an inflatable pillow!

Can you put wm on a timer or delay the spin? She is being a snotty cow imv but if this has suddenly become a problem why not before.
see how she lives her life eg is she lying in til late which is when you run your machine - then change your timing.

Always be smiley and friendly - she might change over time.