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Tips/advice on how to be a more light hearted, happy person

8 replies

losenotloose · 14/03/2023 17:07

I'm feeling quite disillusioned with everything at the moment. Cynical and pessimistic. I'm absolutely sure things like Twitter are not helping me but looking back I've always had a tendency to take life too seriously.

I want to become a more relaxed and fun person. Has anyone managed this? Would love some ideas, or even just solidarity!

Thanks

OP posts:
commentnotaquestion · 14/03/2023 17:20

Give up Twitter and the news - seriously, you will feel so much better!

I also recommend writing down a list of 10 things you have been grateful for at the end of each day. I know it seems like a lot but it really helps! Write out a list one to ten and then just fill it up with little things: sun came out, DS was happy after school, really enjoyed my cup of tea after lunch, had a good laugh with X at work. Once you start noticing all the little things that give you joy, life really looks up.

commentnotaquestion · 14/03/2023 17:22

Also, I really like Brene Brown and her advice to assume that people are doing the best they can. She explains it well in this podcast: brenebrown.com/podcast/living-big-part-1-of-2/

TheVanguardSix · 14/03/2023 17:39

Yes! And I can confirm I’ve dealt with some serious Give-Up-On-Life adversities, so try and trust me! 😆

Meditate! There’s nothing to ‘learn’ other than letting it happen, getting to understand how to go into that space where life’s seas become still. It’s the best commitment I’ve ever made and has been profoundly life changing in the most unremarkable, every day, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it way. That’s what I move th most: Profound change and it’s felt effortless. Though I’ve committed to something important and life giving. I’ve been practicing (fully) for two years and this is the year I’ve really felt this deep transformation. Forget the ‘sit in a lotus position and chant Om’ approach because you’ll be working too hard to try and eliminate the noise. You’ll be trying too hard to meditate! Let the noise in. Let your brain rattle. It will eventually learn to undo these habits as you understand how to detach from consciousness.
I started out by doing Yoga Nidra/Shavasana listening to a lady on Spotify named Caroline Wirthl. I did guided meditations with Jon Kabat Zinn on Spotify and YT. I listen to a guy now called Rafael Reiter. Mostly I meditate on my own now.

I do Dr Weil’s 4-7-8 breathing as well as box breathing.
And I read or listen to a lot of Christian/Buddhist podcasts and audiobooks. I like a guy named Adyashanti a lot. He’s just got a cool, loving, human, Zen philosophy and he’s funny too. Relaxing to listen to. I feel like a better more gracious human when I listen to him. His teachings have helped me massively!

Three years ago, I suffered cardiac arrest and lived (thankfully) only to then lose my brother, my best friend ever in life, suddenly. Three months after that, I’d learned that my then husband had been sexually abusing our daughter for 5 years… this is after a ten year period of physical illness, stillbirth, family cancer, family drug addiction… life just throwing its reality at me. Life is full of suffering that comes to challenge us. So how do we find hope and purpose and meaning through clenched jaws and fists? That was my question. I still ask but I’m learning. I have some good tools. Everyone has them. We just need to be shown how to use them and how to navigate this physical existence full of noise and ego using our spiritual map.

Raphael Reiter is the meditation guy I tune into and he quotes Stoic philosophy a lot. One of those quotes is something along the lines of ‘To live itself is an act of courage.’ How true.

As heavy as my post is, I truly find living a deeply meaningful and beautiful experience and crucially, my interaction with people is so much more loving and simple. My smile comes from my heart and I feel a love for this life inside this world that has given me a small space at its magnificent table. And in turn I am more aware of being part of something greater than ‘me/I’. It takes a lot to piss me off. 😆That was not the case before.
And having been married to such a terrible and harmful human really pushed me to work on matters of the heart and soul. If I didn’t, I was going to go mad.
Sorry for the sermon. 😬
I hope you find what your heart needs. Find your soul food and nourish yourself lovingly. 💐

Isheabastard · 14/03/2023 18:07

@TheVanguardSix what a wise and thoughtful post. So sorry to hear of your troubles, you and yours have truly been through the mill.

You have sincerely made me think that I want to try meditation too. You have given me a reason and I’m so glad it helps you. I think I want some of that too.

Thankyou, Thankyou. Xx

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 14/03/2023 18:14

Don’t give negative people free rent space in your head, is something I try to keep in my head. Along with trying to remember that sometime you can’t argue with stupid!
Stopping stuff like Twitter etc is also probably a good idea.
I find the meditation as a sole purpose is way to difficult for me, rather I do as a previous poster has suggested and let my mind unravel/rattle but for me I do it whilst doing an activity I don’t have to think about - like doodling/arts and crafts. It seems to enable my brain to let the negative things float away and reset in a calmer, happier note. (Iyswim)

losenotloose · 15/03/2023 16:13

Thanks for the responses!

Give up Twitter and the news - seriously, you will feel so much better! I've deleted Twitter off my phone. It's so addictive but I know it's depressing me.

@TheVanguardSix that's a lot of shit for one person to take, well done for staying positive. Meditation is something I always think I must do but never get round to but it sounds like it's had a big impact on you. Thanks for the inspiration.

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 15/03/2023 17:13

Good and consistent sleep.

Corcomroe · 15/03/2023 17:16

Thank you, @TheVanguardSix — lots of ideas to pursue ( I was literally poking around Spotify looking for some guided meditations when I read this.

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