Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

13 yo DS still plays make believe with teddies and toys - babyish?

48 replies

Britney23 · 14/03/2023 13:44

He is 13 and in year 8. He still plays with all his action figures and teddy bears. Last night his friend, 12, came round to play and they were playing make believe schools with his teddies. There’s nothing wrong with it but is it a bit babyish now he’s become a teen or still normal? He turned 13 in February.

OP posts:
Cloudhoppingdancer · 14/03/2023 13:45

Every child is different. Better that than screens. Be glad he's creative. There's nothing you can do anyway. Don't make him feel ashamed of play. He might be a film maker one day.

Paturday · 14/03/2023 13:47

Oh that’s lovely. I wish my 7 year old would imagine like that now let alone age 13! I have hope for his younger brother though 😄 imagination is important.

RosaBonheur · 14/03/2023 13:47

If he's happy then what's the problem? He sounds sweet.

SummerInSun · 14/03/2023 13:48

My DS is ten, so not yet where yours is, but he absolutely still plays with his Star Wars lego people and ships. My view is that any playing with imagination is better than just passive entertainment like watching TV, and a lot of computer gaming is just a way of putting yourself in someone else's shoes pretending to do things (soldier, car their, whatever!).

My guess is most 14 year olds - or at least the ones with a good imagination- would want to still do this sort of play, but many might be too embarrassed. I think it's great your DS isn't. Bet he gets good makes for creative writing at school!

HamBone · 14/03/2023 13:51

That’s lovely, OP, he’s so creative. My DS (14) still sleeps with various stuffed toys, I’ve no idea whether he plays with them as well, but it’s fine.

DD (17) has several in her room as well.

Saltywalruss · 14/03/2023 13:54

I don't really like the word "babyish". But it really doesn't matter that he plays with teddies and dolls.

Mamette · 14/03/2023 13:55

Oh god don’t wish it away 🥲

He will grow out of it soon enough.

Passerillage · 14/03/2023 14:00

My 14 year old will play toys and lego with her younger sister. Not QUITE as willingly as a year or two ago, but the last few weeks she's more up for it than before, funnily enough (DD2 is THRILLED).

I have a book on teen psychology somewhere that said that your teen veering wildly between playing with soft toys one day and stropping around like a moody vampire the next day is completely normal, and that playing with soft toys or action figures is valuable down time for a rapidly developing brain, almost like adults describe knitting or colouring books.

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 14/03/2023 14:01

I'm pretty sure I was still playing like that at 13 but it was more "socially acceptable" as I had younger siblings. I think it's more normal than many people think/admit to.
I also know someone who was building and drawing whole worlds consisting of Lego/Star Wars crossover until his late teens. He just had a rich imagination.

If he's got a friend who's happy to play like this with him then that's fabulous! As someone else said, that imagination and creativity will take him far. Imagine the film scripts he could write or the novels he might have published!

If you do think he needs to "move on" in how he plays then you could perhaps encourage more "grown up" forms of make believe and role play e.g Dungeons and Dragons or Warhammer etc. It's storytelling, fantasy, and collaborative imagining, but disguised as a board game and with added maths!

Passerillage · 14/03/2023 14:01

@Britney23 It's very very sweet that the two of them were playing schools. I hope they were doing all the voices. I'll be so sad when my two stop doing all the voices! 😢

Dodgeitornot · 14/03/2023 14:20

My DD did this until end of y8, she still loved it until y9 but lockdown was done and peer pressure started. She's refused to let go of them though. They were all little toys, LPS. She's determined to give them to her kids. She still lines some up and they watch her do homework.
She's completely normal and has lots of friends, I wouldn't worry. Playing is very normal and this sort of play was always normal at that age until video games came about. You can see how obsessed some boys are with those, but we don't question it. It's sad that this is less normal than shooting games.

Lotsofthingstoconsider · 14/03/2023 15:54

There is nothing wrong with it but I think if you took a straw poll at school it would be highly unusual.

Perhaps best not to mention at school as kids are so mean about perceived 'uncoolness'

Alwayswonderedwhy · 14/03/2023 15:56

I think it's lovely. My DS is 15 and won't part with all his cuddly toys. They're still in a box in his room.

StormySam · 14/03/2023 15:58

My next door neighbour used to do this. I grew out of it before him and stopped going round. He ended up as a (famous) actor and then a director - he probably used it as a creative outlet.

BigFatLiar · 14/03/2023 16:02

He's fine, let him be. I still talk with my teddy.

LondonJax · 14/03/2023 16:30

Our DS still has his cuddly toys in his room - near his bed now rather than in it. He asked for Lego sets last Christmas and we had to haul around the Lego shop when we did a trip to London recently. He's almost 16.

But his favourite on line game is Assassins Creed.

My cousin, married and 40 years old, also has a Lego set every Christmas - it's her passion.

And another cousin still has his childhood teddy which sits alongside his wife's favourite childhood doll on their bedside tables! They have four kids and are now grandparents (no one is allowed to touch the teddy or doll!)

All perfectly normal, functioning adults. We all have our little 'me' things.

AffIt · 14/03/2023 16:37

Look at Joe Cornish, initially of Adam and Joe fame and now an acclaimed filmmaker - he was 'playing' with action figures and teddies well into his 20s and beyond!

I think it's great that your son sounds so creative and has similar friends.

MissDollyMix · 14/03/2023 16:40

Ah! My DS is the same too! He’s 13 in July. I can hear him every night in bed playing with his teddies. The subject has matured (slightly) as he likes recreating battle scenes and pub brawls with them but given he’s nearly 13 I think there are worse things he could be playing with in bed…. 🙈
It sounds like your DS has found a tribe of friends are who are on his level (as mine has) so as long as they’re happy and not getting picked on at school I am relaxed about it.

waterrat · 14/03/2023 16:46

Our society stops teens playing - not just imagniative play but even physical play - we make playgrounds just for under 12s - where are the 13/ 14 year olds supposed to enjoy climbing/ jumping/ swinging - they still need it/ want it and get joy and pleasure from it.

He is not only having a great time playing he is clearly his own person not worried what others thing.

My 8 year old (year 4) is already anxious when friends come over and asks me to hide her barbies etc. as she worries they will laugh at her (I actually dont think they would) I find it so sad.

Mafelicent · 14/03/2023 16:48

Whenever I read children's books from a few generations ago (Narnia, Five children and it etc), I'm always struck by the fact that older children and even teenagers are still "playing" with tin soldiers, or role playing knights in a castle etc.

I guess it probably does seem a bit babyish to us, but I think that maybe says more about modern societal expectations than it does about your son. I think the fact that he has a friend the same age who still wants to play those same games answers your question really!

purpledalmation · 14/03/2023 16:53

I love this. My near 10 yo still loves me to play with his teddies, so it's a relief to realise he's not unusual.

Yfory · 14/03/2023 16:53

Thats lovely. Not something he will want other people at school to know as they WILL make fun of him but its their loss really. My dd played with teddies and made dens/tunnels in her room until she was at least 14.

Choconut · 14/03/2023 16:55

I'd say this was highly unusual outside of children with ASD or other SEN. I really, really wish more kids were like this though, instead of the dick pics I heard the Yr 8/9 boys talking about on the school bus a while back.

waterrat · 14/03/2023 17:21

@Mafelicent such an interesting point about stories from the past

My favourite book as a kid was Just William - he is 11 / 12 in those books - how many year 7 kids go and play dress up and build dens still as william does all day long...

EmmaGrundyForPM · 14/03/2023 17:28

DS2 slept with all his soft toys until he was 16, when I insisted he needed to put them away he made me get a clear sided crate and put them on top of his bookcase because otherwise they might get scared in the dark!!

I cant remember when he stopped playing with them, maybe when he was about 13, but he was emotionally young for his age - as were lots of his friends - until about Y11. Then the hormones kicked in 🤣🤣

I think its quite sweet. DS1 was a stroppy teenager from 13 onwards so we were quite happy to allow DS2 to not be.

He's now in his 20s, has a partner, has a serious job - I don't think it was an issue that he still loved his soft toys until he was 16 and doesn't seem to.havd damaged him.in any way.