My son doesn’t have one single friend **trigger warning suicide mentioned **

[sickofthisbollocks]

He is 17 about to turn 18. He is autistic, goes to
mainstream college.

He doesn’t have a single friend and it absolutely breaks my heart. He has tried joining clubs, he just never seems to gel with anyone or gets forgotten about very quickly.

He wants to go to university but I’m worried about him being even more isolated if he doesn’t find it easy.

I honestly believe my son will eventually take his own life he has said on numerous occasions what’s the point of being alive no one likes him.

He has had therapy, he is on anti-depressants, I don’t know how else I can help him. I’m basically his only friend. His siblings of course they care for him it’s not the same.

I'm sorry to read about your son. Would you mind saying which university that was? By PM if you'd prefer. I know it depends on which halls you are in etc but it would be helpful.

OP I'm so sorry about your son. Do you have good universities near you? I hope when he leaves college things will be easier for him and I'm sure he'll find nicer people.

Nothing helpful to add except hugs. I've jumped on so not read all the replies, but vides he have a diagnosis that might alert Uni that he needs additional assistance? And, as others have said, there are often common-interest groups at Uni, like gaming, WoW where socially awkward ppl can meet.

My 21 year old DS isn't on the spectrum but just cannot make or keep friends. I feel your sadness.

Just to say that you have my sympathy. My dc is just I hope coming a bit out of a similar situation but for many months she had not a single friend and I found myself going to the cinema or concerts with her. She found an interest that was as a pp said an alongside rather than with people activity and that helped.

I think the numbers of students with ASD is higher in the computer science degrees than other degrees. I teach on Engineering degrees we have a number of autistic students in each year too and they generally in my experience tend to get on well with their non autistic peers in the group too. But the computer games Programme definitely has the highest proportion that I have heard my colleagues speaking about.

As a mother of two kids with autism I’m always checking this stuff out for my own kids too.

That is heart wrenching.

Volunteering is good for self-esteem. Places like food pantries need people to sort and organize incoming donations; there is a lot of comaraderie but the focus is on the work, so that interpersonal relationships aren't in the spotlight and no one need feel left out. Could he pursue something like that?

As they say, "to have a friend, BE a friend."

My two autistic nephews both struggled at school and thrived at university.

Aw I relate to this, I was that lonely teenage boy. It gets better x

Just wanted to say my much younger neurodiverse child is struggling in friendships. Every other aspect of having a neurodiverse child I can handle with ease. Her being excluded causes my heart to break and endless sleepless nights . Thinking of you OP

Oh Op, I'm so sorry to read this. I'd echo those saying find the right university for him and likely he'll thrive. I'm NT but didn't really have friends through school (certainly not decent non-bitchy types) but absolutely found my tribe at Uni & had an absolute blast.

Good luck to him (& you).

Get him to try a martial art. They tend to work in pairs/small groups and most of the chat initially is about the training. They tend to be welcoming places as it's always good to have a new member.
Outside of the clubs they will always acknowledge another member if they see you so friendships are formed quite quickly.

I don’t want to name the first university as it wasn’t their fault.
My son decided not to engage with any support for the autism there.
He only mentioned the issues once and his tutor was young and didn’t make a good call.
My son didn’t talk to us about the issues and played them down.
Had could have moved rooms, moved halls etc. but he didn’t know he could.
When we talked to the university about it all, they were absolutely lovely and very very supportive and I think that if it had been flagged up early on, he would still be there.

Anyway, the second university is Bath and so far they have been very good and my son is very settled there.

This is so sad. Have you spoken to college. Hopefully Uni he will meet loads of nice people. Some wierd, geeky, quirky lots too! There will be lots of those!

I don't have anything to offer other than I think he needs to find like minded friends. For you:

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