Have I given wrong message to this man?

[Nametakenagain11]

Have a male friend I’ve known for a decade. Recently he retired and I’ve suggested we meet for coffee. This has happened a couple of times and been enjoyable but now he messages me every few days with general chit chat. I find him very interesting but think he might be wanting more. My marriage is having a low point but I don’t want an affair. What would you do?

I chat to my close male friend every few days, general chit chat. Mostly about how he, his wife and baby are doing and how work is etc etc Nothing in it, just two friends chatting.

What has he said to indicate that he wants an affair?

Is there anything to actually do anything about? It's general chit chat and presumably nothing untoward? You suggested the coffee meet which sounds like it's gone fine. Unless there's a major backstory you've left out this sounds like 2 friends being friends.

Respond to his text by saying you're very busy, no time for texting right now, and you'll check back with him in a few days. Do so, but keep it very, very light, again, you're very busy. Hopefully, he will get the hint and a frank discussion won't be necessary.

My marriage is having a low point

You haven't made the mistake of making him your relationship confidant have you?

For clarity: are you attracted to him?

What changed at the coffee dates that made him chat between meetings when you have known him for a decade? You mention your marriage is at a low point so I too second @MrsTerryPratchett if you've done the classic venting to a friend about how lonely and neglected you are, some men do take it as an opening.

Full disclosure, I know some on MN don't believe this school of thought but I do and it is that men listen with a view of fixing the problem not for chatting or venting sake, so if you tell him you're lonely, not having sex, feeling unloved, he will want to fix it for you with his dick.
I also don't subscribe to platonic straight male and female friendships because procreation drive means men can easily develop sexual attraction to women no matter what the woman looks like.

He used to be a neighbour and moved last year.
previously we used to just talk sporadically mostly via email. But since he moved I suggested we meet for a coffee. (Partly because he’s recently retired and got more time and I’m always looking for social outings).
I didn’t think I was attracted to him because last time we met I hadn’t given any thought to my clothes/hair. Since then we’ve exchanged a few messages and something feels different. He recently messaged me on WhatsApp rather than email.
I haven’t talked about marriage at all.
I could’ve be overthinking things. I’m quite obsessive.

So, yes, you are attracted now? Still not sure.

You should be honest with yourself. Is it...

Yes, attracted and want to see more of him.

No, not attracted and want to see him but only as a friend.

Or No, not attracted, afraid he is and want to put him straight.

Or maybe: no, not attracted, but I fancy some attention and drama.

Any of that is okay. No judgement here. But what is the situation?

attracted and want to see more of him but don’t want to risk marriage.
of course by seeing him more I’d be on a slippery slope.
I think I’m attracted because having difficulties in marriage. Think I’d be attracted to a wet fish at the moment.😂