Wwyd - sahm job issue

[littlebird17]

Hello all,
My brain is foggy so I just want some advice from an outsider prospective.

I have very recently started a new job. In my 3rd out of 4 weeks of full time training.
When I finish my training I will only be working 2 days 9-6.

I have been a sahm for 3 years due redundancy and various other factors that meant me being at home made sense for our family. I feel like I have massively rocked the boat.

I loved being at home with my girls. Some days were tough don't get me wrong but the flexibility we had was great.
I got a job basically because I felt I should contribute. My husband wasn't pressuring me, he was more than happy with our set up. As was I but the guilt started to creep in that I wasn't paying for things etc. I feel like I self sabotage and when things are good I have to change them bizzarly!!

I feel like it's hard at the moment because I'm doing full time but I hate the job itself now too. It wasn't what it was sold to be at all and everyone in my training group agrees. Its basically a remote call centre. Every minute of my day is in a calendar. I didn't get a moment to go to the bathroom this morning.
I never would've have a applied had I known this. Along with a lot of my colleagues that started the same day. The manager even asked yesterday if we knew it was a call centre job because it had been raised a lot and we said we didn't. The company do seem great to work for outside of their customer service team.

I am honestly a hard worker and I don't mind that but I'm also a grown woman and don't want to be micro managed literally down to the second of every day.

Part of me wants to just quit but then I don't want to just give up but also I think if I'm not even enjoying the training then surely I'm not going to enjoy the job afterwards?

My husband has said to see how I feel when I start my normal hours in a few weeks. He's really supportive and would be happy with whatever I chose though. But I can not imagine doing this 9hrs a day even for 2 days.

Please help with some advice 🤞🏻

Personally, I would cut your losses and go. I think working, for people who are able, has so many advantages and I'd not advise anyone who can to not work. But hell if I'd be working in a call centre. You are not desperate for the income and there is no rush. Take a bit more time to find something you enjoy.

Honestly I would quit and give robust feedback on the lack of clarity of the roles expectations.

Surely you are entitled to a teabreak and a lunchbreak. Did you not go to the toilet then?

Run for the hills. It's not going to get better and it's not like you need to put it on your cv. I'm a sahm and I totally get how you feel

Honestly? I think you're nervous returning to work and you're looking for a way out. I've been there.

If I were you, I'd take this job and try to stick it out for a few months and then use it as a stepping stone to a better job. What have you got to lose by giving it a go?

Hi - if it were just the change of lifestyle/return to work issue I would be inclined to say stick it out. I went back to work after a much longer career break and really identify with that feeling of going from being in control of 100% of your time to having to operate on someone else’s schedule. You get used to it and now I actually enjoy the structure compared to the lives of friends who have stayed at home for longer.

However, your job sounds far too restrictive. It really bugged me to have to ask ‘permission’ to go to the dentist, let alone the bathroom. You sound really employable and sounds like you got this job easily and aren’t in desperate need of the salary immediately. It’s not worth it, I’d move on.

This isn’t really a SAHM job issue, it sounds like a job being missold issue. If you can honestly say to yourself that it’s the type of work not being as expected that’s the problem, as opposed to working per se, then cut your losses and look for something else.

Well, I do think the full time nature of the training is clouding your judgement a little bit. 2 days a week will feel much more manageable and give you a much more pleasant balance between working and financially contributing, and being a SAHP. Also, I think it is hard when you start somewhere new to feel you can just say, sorry, give me a moment, nipping to the loo. I know I struggled to do that when I started in jobs. A few weeks down the line, you realise everyone else is taking a break when they need one (of course!) and you can too.

But, call centre work is high on my list of jobs I would not do and if this wasn't advertised in this way at the outset, I can imagine you feel pretty put off at finding this is what you will actually be doing.

I guess if I were you, I would stick with it for now (because I am not a quitter) but I would be strenuously looking for something else to jump ship to. Don't quit employment completely though! You are right to recognise that working gives you the chance to contribute to the family finances and is often important for good mental health.

But I'm sure you contributed a lot, just not financially?

Why not hold out for something you would enjoy instead?

Find something better!
The job description was deceptive.
Maybe start with some volunteering in areas that have meaning for you.

I think I would say stick at it until you've done a few months part time hours. Sahm to full time must be a shock to you all. Use it as a stepping stone, I think you'll find it much easier to get a new job whilst you already have a job.

I'd quit now and look for something else. No point doing a job you hate if you don't have to.

I'd stick at it. You might find you enjoy the independence when you're up and running.

And if you don't, you can look for something else.

It's always a good idea to have some kind of income if you're in a position to work.

I'd quit now. It won't get better.

Well it will - because she's currently doing full time hours and still learning the job. When she's fully trained she'll only be doing 2 days a week and will feel comfortable in the requirements of the job.

I don’t see the point in continuing. You hate it, you don’t need the money and you don’t need it on your CV. Quit now and then really commit to finding something better suited. Good luck OP!

My advice is to finish the training, give it a go for two weeks. If you don’t enjoy it (or a least the money makes it worthwhile) then quit and look for something better.

Is worked in a call center type job and sadly , it’s shit. As you’re ‘on the phone’ a call can be put through at any time so you have to be on ‘ready’ when you’re at your desk . You get timed lunch break and only
a 15 minute break to use if you need a wee or grab a cuppa. These are timed and if you went over the 15 minutes in your shift then you get a shitty email . So a wee was like 3 minutes , cuppa 6 minutes. The second you put your desk for example on break mode you’re on the clock, regardless of how far away the staff room or toilets are.

I would leave , it’s not what you wanted or signed up for

Thanks so much everyone.
I really don't think it's actually working that's the issue.
I was looking forward to doing something different with my time. However I wasn't not enjoying being with my kids and doing all the stuff at home either.

We get two 10 min breaks and an hour for lunch. It's timed to the minute. I spent my first morning break sending various emails and that's not due to me not balancing work load I just didn't get a moment break from the calls coming in.

A call centre is not what I wanted. I want me going to work to be worthwhile for me and my family. I feel like if I'm not enjoying it, it's isn't worth me sacrificing time with my family for.

I really don't want to quit at the first hurdle as that's not me but I can't see it getting much better.

What was the job title and description for the role?

It really isn’t.
and if your children see you hating work, you are not setting good expectations for their future careers either. I know that my parents’ experiences of work have hugely influenced mine.

(I am fully aware that many people don’t have the option to quit a job they hate.)

Really isn’t worth it, I meant.

Thank you. I do agree.

I think I panicked when I realised I'd been a sahm for 3 years and worried about my employment prospects in the future if I had anymore time off.

Which is why you should take this job while you're not under any financial pressure just to get used to working again and if after a few weeks you really don't like it then quit.

Take it from me, no matter how educated and qualified you are already, if you spend a lot of time out of the workplace as a woman, once you do get a chance you have to start all over again at the bottom.

I couldn't get an admin role without a recent qualification, even though I am a qualified primary teacher!

And there is virtually no college provision any more for people like us needing to retrain, as it is nearly all geared to 16-19 year olds now.
I eventually found a 2 day a week course offering a basic admin qualification to get my foot on the ladder, but I had to travel 90 minutes plus each way for that.

It is much harder now for SAHMs etc. to return to the workplace than it would have been for women in the 70s, 80s and 90s.