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Original poster

Think dh is cheating - find his phone?

27 replies

Elvira2000 · 12/03/2023 21:11

Very dodgy i know, but dh has been for a night out with a work colleague that went on to 4 am. He often disappears while walking the dog for a couple of hours.

I just want the truth about where he is. He is not giving it to me. How can I track his phone? At least if he's in some shit pub i can have some sort of peace of mind.

He has an Android.

OP posts:
oddUsername · 12/03/2023 21:57

Your dh sounds like me, accept for the out until 4am.
I just really enjoy a long walk on my own, I'd never dream of cheating and if my dh was suspicious of me having some me time our marriage wouldn't work out.
We also have an adult son who loves to go on long walks by himself too, it's just about having a bit of space and time to clear your mind, find clarity, sit by the rocks, listen to the sea, maybe I'd liken it to meditation in away or just enjoying nature and peace and quiet.
I don't expect DH to understand he'd find any unnecessary walking a punishment and couldn't think of anything worse, but likewise I don't get his gaming, which he's happy to do while I go for a walk for a couple of hours. Yes every day, and I don't even have a dog.

oddUsername · 12/03/2023 22:02

I just want the truth about where he is. He is not giving it to me.

How do you know he's not giving you the truth? What has he said?

Mysorehead · 12/03/2023 22:04

Not without his permission. At the point where you're trying to put an app on his phone, the relationship is over. If he was in a shit pub, he'd just tell you, no? As he'd have nothing to hide or is he telling you and you don't believe him? Either way the trust seems to have gone.

As it is, he's disappearing for hours and not telling you, focus on what you want to do next in terms of the relationship rather than going down this dodgy road of tracking.

Original poster
Elvira2000 · 13/03/2023 00:28

No need. He came home after 2 and half hours of "walking" the dog. The stupid dick left his phone out. I checked his messages. He went out for a quickie with "Jessa".

We'd had a lovely family day today. I have no feelings / tumble drier stomach. Yes. The trust has gone!!!

OP posts:
Whatafool123 · 13/03/2023 09:16

I'm so sorry, you poor thing. Hope you are OK. Funny how you sense it, even if the evidence is tenuous (long walks etc). Have you spoken to him yet, or are you waiting for a good moment?

ToBeOrNotToBee · 13/03/2023 09:17

Get a GPS tracker for the dog

Original poster
Elvira2000 · 13/03/2023 10:24

Get a GPS tracker for the dog

😂😂😂

Thanks for that 😀

I feeling awful. Numb and sick. Yes...I knew, but was still surprised if that makes sense. I feel more awful for dd. She will be devastated by us breaking up.

OP posts:
Starlitestarbright · 13/03/2023 10:26

Sorry to hear that op. Have you got family support?

Original poster
Elvira2000 · 13/03/2023 15:37

Thanks for your messages of support. I have no-one in real life who i can talk to. And even if I did, i would just break down.

I used to read these types of threads and always felt sympathy. But it's like when a relative passes for the first time or first baby,/labour, and it's like "i fucking get it now". Now i properly understand.

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 13/03/2023 15:48

Sorry OP and the poor dog having to be there.

Justmeandthedog1 · 13/03/2023 16:59

Can you photograph his message screen? He may well delete and deny.

OrlandointheWilderness · 13/03/2023 17:00

Oh I'm sorry. Yes I agree, it is something you never can imagine until it happens to you. It's awful.

Mama2six · 13/03/2023 17:04

Sorry you’re going through this 💐, let “Jessa” have him, you deserve better.

doozledog · 13/03/2023 17:08

What's a cunt! Just be glad he's her problem now and not your's!

taxpayer1 · 13/03/2023 17:11

Do you know that tracking someone without his/her permission is illegal?

candyflosstheboss · 13/03/2023 17:21

My ex gaslit me for 9 months before I found the proof (on his work phone) couldn't get near his actual.

If he says to you he won't show you/give you peace - he is gaslighting.

Emmamoo89 · 13/03/2023 17:30

I'm so sorry. Sending love and hugs ❤️

inky1991 · 13/03/2023 19:11

I'm so sorry. Have you confronted him about this yet?

Sunnysunbun · 13/03/2023 19:25

Oh bloody hell. I'm so sorry.
Train the dog to bite.

Original poster
Elvira2000 · 13/03/2023 19:40

Thanks again. Yes I confronted him. At first, how dare you look at my phone, then "i was sitting in a pub and random woman contacted me", then eventually more details, but not quite the truth. Will i ever get the truth? Sent myself a screenshot of texts. Can recite them from memory. I should have dug a lot deeper while i had the chance. I'll never get that again.

Fuck knows. Fuck knows if I care. I am too tired. Almost no sleep, all day at work, cheerful for dd, and then fucking dog to walk!

I just want to sleep. And not think about it. But thank you for listening

OP posts:
Mrsknowitall · 28/04/2023 16:58

How are you op? Did you manage to get the full truth from him?

DustyLee123 · 28/04/2023 17:01

Unlikely he will tell the full truth. Just take care of yourself.

DustyLee123 · 28/04/2023 17:01

And get an STI test.

C1N1C · 28/04/2023 17:35

Could be anything. I'm out in the shed for hours a day to escape. I'm also big into nature, so would love for a few hours a week alone in the woods, but the wife turns them into 'hikes'...

Until it's more, it's nothing.

C1N1C · 28/04/2023 17:36

Lol, ignore last message. That's what I get for not reading the whole post!