Sunday night dread

milliondollardress · 2023-03-12T20:27:34+00:00

Anyone else feeling it? I recently moved to a new role (same organisation, different department) and I’m feeling so stressed out and fed up. I’ve always hated work. It feels like I’m crap at it and the same problems just come up again and again and I don’t get any better at dealing with them. I’ve worked for 16 years in this industry but have no clue what I’d do if I left (and in any case I can’t leave as we need the money). I feel so trapped and burned out.

JobSeekingMissile · 12/03/2023 20:33

I know this feeling; but there are things you can do. Firstly, what industry / role? It's easier to make suggestions knowing this.

Original poster

milliondollardress · 12/03/2023 21:27

It’s public sector (civil service), sort of middle management level. I don’t want to be any more specific than that.

I am part time (4 days a week) which is important to me as I want a day off with my DC but it’s not really a part time job. This is always how it goes though in my experience.

Honestly with DC and family stuff I just wish I had a job which was much more transactional that I could leave at work and wouldn’t have to stress about. But those jobs sadly don’t come without a significant pay cut.

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Original poster

milliondollardress · 12/03/2023 22:23

Eeek is it just me?!

I do always worry that everyone else seems to have a much better relationship with work than I do…

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NewtoHolland · 12/03/2023 22:26

Its not just you, I moved career and took a pay cut, it was so worth it for my mental health. It sounds like you would have a lot of transferable skills, have a little look around and set yourself free from the dread :)

Hollytreenew · 12/03/2023 22:26

It isn’t just you. I used to feel this way in my old job. It was horrible. Moved job though and now I don’t have it at all, it’s lovely!
I’m sure there will be others who feel that way still. Hope it gets better for you.

LaFemmeDamnee · 12/03/2023 22:27

I hate work anyway, so much time busting my arse with pointless fucking tasks and last week I was told that the work I've done in the past couple of years is great but doesn't show leadership potential so they won't promote me. Fuckers.

Original poster

milliondollardress · 12/03/2023 22:41

NewtoHolland · 12/03/2023 22:26

Its not just you, I moved career and took a pay cut, it was so worth it for my mental health. It sounds like you would have a lot of transferable skills, have a little look around and set yourself free from the dread :)

Oh I dream about doing this but so so worried it might go wrong and I’d have taken a pay cut for nothing.

Do you mind sharing what you moved from and to?

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Original poster

milliondollardress · 12/03/2023 22:43

LaFemmeDamnee · 12/03/2023 22:27

I hate work anyway, so much time busting my arse with pointless fucking tasks and last week I was told that the work I've done in the past couple of years is great but doesn't show leadership potential so they won't promote me. Fuckers.

Oh that’s rubbish I’m sorry 😔

I’ve been around long enough now to see that promotions happen for all kinds of odd reasons and it’s not always about how hard you work or how good you are.

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Original poster

milliondollardress · 12/03/2023 22:43

Hollytreenew · 12/03/2023 22:26

It isn’t just you. I used to feel this way in my old job. It was horrible. Moved job though and now I don’t have it at all, it’s lovely!
I’m sure there will be others who feel that way still. Hope it gets better for you.

Thank you. It’s overshadowed the weekend to be honest and the same thing happened last weekend too, it’s no way to live.

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TidyDancer · 12/03/2023 22:44

I've got this right now. Recently moved roles and I'm hating the new one as much as the old one. Different problems, same level of dread. I wish I knew the answer. Or could figure out where I'd be happy.

Original poster

milliondollardress · 12/03/2023 22:48

TidyDancer · 12/03/2023 22:44

I've got this right now. Recently moved roles and I'm hating the new one as much as the old one. Different problems, same level of dread. I wish I knew the answer. Or could figure out where I'd be happy.

Yes that’s exactly it!

Life is precious and I want to enjoy it but instead it feels like work always overshadows everything 😔

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RunnyPaint · 12/03/2023 22:54

Definitely not you! I'm afraid I don't have any words of wisdom, but wanted you to know that you are not alone. My situation was similar to yours, including being part-time in a full-time role, and it was soul-destroying. Every Sunday was torture with the dread of Monday. I was lucky enough to be able to take voluntary redundancy, have some time off to work out what to do with my life, and am now self-employed in a different sector (editor). Good luck.

MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco · 12/03/2023 22:59

I spend most Sundays in tears at the moment, I am so unhappy in work and just feel so sick at the thought of it. I hope for a non life threatening illness that puts me in hospital for a couple of months and means I can't work virtually or face to face.

OatFox · 12/03/2023 23:01

I have an annual leave week booked this week and I've never felt so calm on a Sunday night. I'm usually dreading it too.

I have an ok job but I just hate working. I can't afford to quit and the job sector is awful right now for me so I stay.

anonymousehoumus · 12/03/2023 23:27

I solved this by dropping Mondays

Ilovetocrochet · 12/03/2023 23:37

I loved my job and was very happy at work but I always had anxious thoughts on a Sunday thinking about the demands of the week ahead. I slept really badly on Sunday night - used to call it Sundayitis!

The thing that helped the most was to be very organised, get everything ready early evening, clothes etc and look at my diary to see what I had to do. I then made a To Do list for the Monday of important things to remember and action, it was very satisfying to start ticking them off. I always got to work early on Mondays while the office was empty to log on and clear emails or prepare for meetings.

JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 16:02

MyBloodyMaryneedsmoreTabasco · 12/03/2023 22:59

I spend most Sundays in tears at the moment, I am so unhappy in work and just feel so sick at the thought of it. I hope for a non life threatening illness that puts me in hospital for a couple of months and means I can't work virtually or face to face.

I feel for you. That's awful 😢 please try to look for something else? Even the looking helps me feel like I'm doing something about it. What sort of thing would you like to do?
@milliondollardress i understand you don't want to be too specific, but maybe if you can give a generic idea of transferable skills people here may be able to suggest appropriate options? Life is too short to be made miserable by work.

Original poster

milliondollardress · 13/03/2023 18:45

JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 16:02

I feel for you. That's awful 😢 please try to look for something else? Even the looking helps me feel like I'm doing something about it. What sort of thing would you like to do?
@milliondollardress i understand you don't want to be too specific, but maybe if you can give a generic idea of transferable skills people here may be able to suggest appropriate options? Life is too short to be made miserable by work.

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I think my skills are different to what I’d actually enjoy, if that makes sense?

I have some professional qualifications but I am wary about finding a job using them as I don’t particularly want to be a “leader” at this point in my life, or to have a career. I just want to go in, do my job, forget about it on the way home.

In terms of transferable skills, I am good at organising things. I think I’d be a good executive assistant - I did that a while ago and loved it. I currently manage two people in secretarial type roles and wish I could just do their jobs!

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JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 19:18

@milliondollardress what about a university or similar ? They have a lot of administrative posts including executive assistant posts.

Original poster

milliondollardress · 13/03/2023 20:06

JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 19:18

@milliondollardress what about a university or similar ? They have a lot of administrative posts including executive assistant posts.

Thank you, I have looked but at the university near me they pay £25k and we wouldn’t be able to afford our mortgage if I cut my salary down to that.

Probably a lesson in there about buying a smaller/cheaper house but there weren’t many options at the time…

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JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 20:26

@milliondollardress depending what level of take home you are aiming for, is there potential to do something alongside a lower income job? Or even self employment and being an administrator to multiple people / businesses. There is an answer out there somewhere 💐