People who drop out/isolate themselves

[JoonT]

I may be talking nonsense, but it seems more common for people to drop out these days, particularly young men. I know (and know of) quite a few men in their late teens and 20s (and older) who live at home, don’t work, and spend their time immersed in video games.

But it isn’t just young men. Statistically, people are having less sex, fewer relationships and fewer children. And look at the way pubs are closing. I remember my dad saying that when he was 18 there were five pubs in or near his village. And they were always packed. He and his mates would drift from one to another. Today, three of those pubs are gone and one is a restaurant.

Obviously people still marry, go to the pub, join the cricket team, etc. But my sense is that the minority who drop out (have no friends, can’t be bothered with relationships, spend most of their time indoors, barely know their neighbours, etc) is increasing. Technology is providing alternatives. For a start, you can have pretty much any book, CD, vinyl record, DVD boxset, painting, even drug, delivered to your door at the click of a mouse. Plus, there are more podcasts and audiobooks than you can listen to in a lifetime. Then there are video games. I’m not a gamer, but even I admit that the most cutting edge games are unbelievably good. You don’t even need to go out to buy food. A lot of people seem to be creating a mini paradise in their own flat.

If you are a bit cynical, introverted or misanthropic, it’s just so much easier (and more tempting) to drop out - to go to work and then immerse yourself in a separate world. Or is it just me?

Think you’ve answered your own question perfectly well!

Can't speak for everyone but for me, unless I there's something "out there" that makes me feel comfortable and happy it's just too tempting to take the easy option of staying in and doing stuff alone. I'm not a person who enjoys company for company's sake.

For what it's worth I'm married and do have friends I physically spend time with now but could easily imagine how I'd have ended up a social dropout under different circumstances.

Yes, I've seen an interesting report and wish I could remember where. The public sphere is increasingly shrinking. In Medieval times and before, life would be very communal. Then common land was enclosed and in modern times we're losing pubs, libraries, parks and playing fields, allotments, shops are shutting. I guess there's more gyms, coffee bars and soft play so perhaps there's a bit of offsetting. But I think the general trend is to less personal contact and more living online.

All good points. I wonder if our increasingly 24/7 work/life cycle has contributed for many. It has enabled me to opt for work shifts involving far less social interactions with others. Also allows me to under take ‘life admin’ at leas busy times too. Makes me a much happier person being able to exist more in tune with my natural rhythms and needs than trying to confirm to societal norm.

What a judgemental attitude you seem to have @JoonT when you say If you are a bit cynical, introverted or misanthropic

The reasons are complex and varied. It has long been an issue in Japan for example.

We now live in a society where people are increasingly judged - and dropping out is often an emotional response to that.

In some cases I think it creeps up on you. I fell ill, lost job so finances took a hit. Mobility became a struggle so easier to get stuff delivered, so those let's meet for coffee met up stopped. Before you know it you're never out of the house and the only contact with others is online.

I don't think technology is to blame.

The world is harsher these days, go to the pub and your likely to get spiked or in a fight, your likely to be judged by others, there's stabbings and murders and rapes on a day by day basis.
Dodgy police men left, right and centre etc etc
The world used to be a safer place, now your only really safe at home. Let that sink in for a minute:

I always compare my childhood to my DDs and think how massively different it is.

I was outside the majority of the time seeing different people constantly and much more confident.

My DD is very shy and introverted and spends the majority of her time indoors.

Technology does have a lot to do with it because lots of kids went outside because there was nothing to do inside, whereas now there’s loads.

I can imagine 2 weeks of no technology would have be desperate to go out and find things to do.

I wonder if our increasingly 24/7 work/life cycle has contributed for many.

I agree with this too.

Is there any evidence that the world is more dangerous? I thought the opposite was true? It just doesn't feel like it because we hear about so much more.