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Original poster

What gift for ex husband's newborn daughter?

47 replies

oreo2020 · 10/03/2023 10:10

The context: not together with my ex husband for several years now. Two teenage DC between us. He moved away and got remarried and just had a baby girl.
He wants our DC to visit, also me to tag along. I expect I will meet the new wife and the baby, though not anticipating spending any significant time with them (we will travel to visit relatives).

I despise him for his poor parenting to our DC and selfishness, so I am travelling through a gritted teeth but on the surface we are amicable.

I think it would be polite to bring something little for the baby, so not to show empty handed or ignorant, but I struggle to think what it could be! So asking for ideas for something fairly neutral! Thanks.

OP posts:

PennyRa · 10/03/2023 10:28

Take your kids to the baby section and give them a tenner let them pick

Original poster

oreo2020 · 10/03/2023 10:29

Giving DC the money and sending them off in a supermarket is also a good idea. Like the idea of a stuffed toy too. Clothes feel a bit personal, maybe?

OP posts:

Peachy2005 · 10/03/2023 10:43

Gro-bag is a nice gift - from the teens though. Not sure I’d go in with them…

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Changeforachange · 10/03/2023 10:49

I'd also distance myself - set a budget & let the kids pick the gift & card.
I think one of the kids old books is a nice gesture for the baby - a link to her siblings.

I hope you manage to enjoy some parts of the trip. You sound very grounded, but I think I'd find it hard 💐

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/03/2023 10:53

Ask your dc what their favourite children's books were and buy one of each. Then the gift is sorted by you but from the teens.

Original poster

oreo2020 · 10/03/2023 10:54

@Changeforachange I am also finding it hard (not that I don't wish well for my ex) but got to keep it together for the sake of DC. It's one of those things, where I will be able to plaster beautiful photos on the social media of 'holidaying' on the beach by the ocean, but the brutality of it that I don't really want to be there.

OP posts:

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 10/03/2023 10:56

A classic board book like Dear Zoo or The Very Hungry Caterpillar is always worth suggesting - thoughtful but not too personal, small and easy to pack or post.

reluctantbrit · 10/03/2023 10:59

It's the teen's half sister and even if they may not then have a close relationship I would go for a gift the baby may keep for longer. Maybe a stuffed Paddington Bear or Peter Rabbitt togehter with a book?

Lightninginabox · 10/03/2023 11:04

Honestly, you are doing such a lovely thing for YOUR own kids that sends a clear message to them that ‘this is fine and I am totally cool with it’. Just think of it like that.

Notgoodatchoosingnames · 10/03/2023 11:12

I'd say a small jellycat toy from your daughters. It's a nice thing for the baby and will last years and be a permanent reminder of their siblings. and a copy of a book your children had/liked when they were small? nice on the surface but also a reminder (for your ExDH)

Motnight · 10/03/2023 11:15

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/03/2023 10:53

Ask your dc what their favourite children's books were and buy one of each. Then the gift is sorted by you but from the teens.

I think that this is a great idea!

emmathedilemma · 10/03/2023 11:21

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/03/2023 10:53

Ask your dc what their favourite children's books were and buy one of each. Then the gift is sorted by you but from the teens.

This is a great idea and makes it from the kids not from the ex-wife. People tend to get so many clothes when babies are born and if they live overseas it won't be easy for them to exchange if it's not suitable or they have too many things in the same size.

Justalittlebitduckling · 10/03/2023 11:21

Is there not a local cafe you can sit in? Or send the girls in a taxi? I think he’s asking too much of you and I would imagine his DW probably doesn’t want you there, either.

backawayfatty1 · 10/03/2023 11:21

I'd probably go with a blanket or a teddy though would also suggest letting your children pick. The book idea is a good one too 🙂

davegrohll · 10/03/2023 11:22

Some really bitter replies on here. Op fair play to you though for putting the kids first, the baby will get loads of clothes ! Maybe a baby book with a message already inside from your kids to baby ?

showstopper100 · 10/03/2023 11:28

Something Peter Rabbit related.

Folklore9074 · 10/03/2023 11:49

Little book, flash cards, stuffed toy or if you hate him super annoying noisy toy that kid love and adults hate. Better yet get teens to choose.

Sugarfree23 · 10/03/2023 11:54

Send the kids into next or m&s and let them pick something. Or let them get the baby a teddy.

Plingston · 10/03/2023 11:58

I'd just go with the same sort of thing you'd get anybody else with a newborn - clothes/blanket and a card.

I knitted a smallish blanket in a nice merino wool when my ex had another baby. But that was very time consuming and obviously you need to be able to knit! It was more of a luxury item than I would have bought in a shop. Made sure it was machine washable though. He's an absolute arsehole and generally a shit, selfish dad but I did it for my son. I wanted to acknowledge that he had a new sibling which is special and exciting. According to my son it was frequently used because it fitted perfectly over the car seat and was quite warm as it was real wool, so it seemed to go down quite well.

Dozycuntlaters · 10/03/2023 12:50

A cheap little sleepsuit for the baby and a book on being a better parent for the ex!

Hotvimto3 · 10/03/2023 12:57

A card and a blanket.

Doveyouknow · 10/03/2023 13:16

One of those annoying toot toot cars?! I think the idea of books your kids enjoyed us a really nice one.

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