Overeating is ruining my body

[Sofitella]

I just cannot stop eating, either too much, or junk, or both.

I am naturally slim and this behaviour is now starting to ruin my figure. I realise I’m very lucky to have got away with it for so long (I am late 30s). Also on the more serious side I worry about the example I am setting to my kids, and for my health.

I have tried therapy. I understand why I do it. I have worked on strategies to not do it. I have also had success with IF. But I always always end up back at square one.

Has anyone got any advice or suggestions? I’m going to ruin everything for ever at this rate :(

Bump!

I really empathise with you, I'm in the same boat and I've tried everything. I think it's all part of an addictive nature and because I don't smoke or drink there's no where else to go.

Wait till menopause, then you blimp out with fresh air & a lettuce leaf...😳

Can you afford more therapy? When I am working on myself, there's 4 stages:

• identifying bad / destructive behaviours
• understand on an intellectual level where they come from and why it's wrong
• define alternative reality / perception that I want to get to
• intellectual understanding travels into heart / subconscious and I suddenly realise I've genuinely changed my belief / thinking

Sounds like you're at 2 so need more work to finally feel it rather thank know it.

Does that make sense?

Very helpful...

I was also going to suggest more therapy or a different kind. Or an online coach?

Do you feel having some accountability to someone would help keep you on track? I mean like a coach; someone that's not related to you, that isn't going to (for want of a better phrase) 'let you get away with it', and that you're paying a fee to.

I've over eaten for as long as I can remember because my brain and stomach don't seem to connect like they should. I can never understand why other people leave food on their plate as my appetite is insatiable. I would be scared to go to an eat all you can buffet.

I also often wonder how large my stomach is compared other people.

I've been doing fasting lately and it's worked really well to break the bad habits. Look up Dr Jason Fung - the Obesity Code is his book but just watch some of his videos on youtube to give you an idea of the basics, no need to buy the book.

The great thing about it is eating actually increases ghrelin the hunger hormone. When you are not eating, e.g. fasting, ghrelin can't activate. So as you get used to fasting you won't feel hungry like you used to. Basically not eating at all is much easier than eating because whenever you eat it almost triggers you to eat more food later! Then on the in between days where you are eating you can eat normally and not worry too much about what you do eat so it's a lot less restrictive than regular dieting. In time you can change your eating habits as it breaks the habit of having to eat all the time and emotional eating habits.

You start of small e.g. 16 - 18 hours, then work your non-eating periods longer and longer. This is the easiest way, work up slowly. I now do 36-40hr fasts a few times a week (there are a lot of additional health benefits too). You need to take suitable electrolytes (e.g. salt etc) for some longer fasts and do it safely so make sure you read up. I have lost over 1.5 stone in about 2 months.

I realise to some people this will sound radical (due to lots of myths around fasting, "starvation mode" etc), but in reality it's not and it's very safe if done carefully and also very healthy - think of our ancestors, they likely had periods of fast and feast. it gives the digestive system a break and our body a chance to use up its reserves.

Check out reddit.com/r/fasting for inspiration and support as well as safety advice.

It really is the most effortless form of dieting I have found. One thing I would say is once you're at goal weight, try to find a way to do some maintenance e.g. one or two OMAD days a week if you're going back to normal eating. You need a plan to keep it going somehow rather than to revert completely!

@SpaceNambo so true. I'm 61 and really need to lose 4 stone for my health. I've lost 1 stone 5 lbs so far but has taken just over 4 months and I've been very careful indeed. In the past I could shift that easily in 2 months.

NB you will also find you eventually move onto eating healthier foods in time, but if it's too hard just leave that until your fasting regime is established a bit more, make it easier on yourself rather than trying to change everything at once.

Thanks for all the replies. I don’t think I can really afford more therapy at the moment, and am a bit hesitant TBH as I am not very good at applying the exercises, homework etc - my life is very hectic (as I’m sure everyone’s is who works full time with x2 under 4!) and I just don’t have the mental or energy capacity

fasting has worked well as I say, but I always end up reverting back. Even though I feel better for it. Work that out!

@Sofitella you need to find a way to make it a way of life, and not as a sticking plaster.

For fasting that could mean two days a week where you're not eating or doing OMAD or 5/2 or something, FOREVER. Rather than look at it as a shorter term thing look at it as a forever thing. You might not always do the weight loss regime but you need some form of maintenance because the reason you're going back is you're not doing maintenance.

Designating two days a week e.g. Monday, Weds or something is a good rule. Rules are good as they are easy to stick to. If you don't manage Monday or Weds have a backup that you will do Tues / Thurs or something. A degree of flexibility and adaptation is necessary. You need it to become a habit and not a one off or shorter term thing.

If it works for you - great.

But fasting is known to trigger further disordered eating in people who already have issues, so it isn’t recommended for that group. Eg you’ll see that 5/2 is not recommended for anyone with a history of difficulties around food. So be cautious who you recommend this to.

@Luredbyapomegranate If you read my post I did suggest the OP did it safely and read up beforehand (at least twice) but I guess you're right that it's worth reiterating about it not being suitable for eating disorders. The ironic thing is overeating is a disorder in and of itself, and a lot of people find fasting very helpful to break bad habits around this. But I do agree it's not for everyone.

I think the main thing is to persist with it, some people just have this issue and it will always need attention - it will never just be fixed.

For getting into your head I think Shahroo Izadi’s the Last Diet and Ranjan Chatterjee’s Loose Weight Feel Great are good - neither are actually diets, but offer ideas on how to manage eating better for those who struggle.

If you want some accountability you could try OA, they do a lot of online meetings and when I did it I found you could just ignore anything too spiritual quite easily. I also think there’s a Facebook group attached to the Last Diet

God I could have written your post OP. May I ask what you've discovered when you say you know why you do it? I'm wondering if I also need therapy. Good luck.

i could have written this for myself op, you are not alone. I’ve put on so much weight but can feel that I’m almost at a turning to point to do something about it. Two things that have worked for me in the past 1) half of the plate must be healthy veg/salad at lunch and tea and do not touch sweet stuff… like literally do not pick up anything sweet. If my hands don’t touch it I can’t eat it. I can look, smell etc but not pick it up. Will try this again for the rest of March and see if i can get back on track. Good luck op, hope you find your way back to what you want xx

@Luredbyapomegranate what’s OA if you don’t mind me asking?

Very true......

@Scottishgirl85 for me, I had disordered/emotional eating embedded in family life for as long as I can remember.

My mother is a total sugar and junk food addict, now also T2 diabetic and still at it with all the sweet things and pretty low nutritional value food. My dad used to have McVities biscuits for breakfast. We also had a lot of processed food for our meals.

Growing up, the answer to everything was food. Feel sad? Had a disappointment? Feel tired? Have low self esteem? Something to celebrate? Achieved something? The answer, whatever the occasion, challenge or emotion, was to always eat something sweet. And very strongly encouraged/bullied into eating even when full.

This is exactly how it was for me too.
it sounds really silly but I found that telling people I’d given certain foods (crisps, chocolate and fizzy drinks) up for lent I felt like I had to stick to it. For the first few days it was hard not drifting into the kitchen cupboard but it’s got so much easier! I really don’t knew what will happen when lent is over but I’m hoping I’ll have broken the cycle of habit by then 🤞🏼

Do you have any neurodiversity issues? Sometimes reliance on quick fix junk food sugary crap is because you need a dopamine hit. ADHD is sometimes a factor. Might be worth doing a bit of a Google and seeing if it resonates.

I'm in the same predicament
Can't find any help.
If you figure anything out please let me know or feel free to just message me anyway it's very isolating