What annoys you about someone that has no effect on you whatsoever but still irritates the hell out of you.

[gettingolderandgrumpier]

a colleague will not put her phone on silent ( in case of emergency) but will leave in her bag and every times it rings and it’s often a cold call she will leap in the air in panic to turn the phone off .
I’ve said leave it on vibrate , leave it on your desk so you can turn it off quicker but no . She never answers it and grumbles that it’s cold calls .
I’m not bothered about the phone ringing but this leaping up in panic and a mad scramble for her phone makes me want to hit her with her daft phone .
why not leave on your desk or stop panicking every time it rings I don’t get it .
i know it has no effect on my life but I’m worried she may have a panic induced heart attack ( I’m joking ) .
share with me lighthearted irritations that you have.

OMG my one is people on social media who bang on about themselves being self employed and talking about their "clients"all the time, eg:

"meeting with clients today"
"My new clients love my ideas"
"exciting new opportunity with great clients"

Even after i unfollowed the lot of them i'm still annoyed at the thought of it and i'm not sure why, possibly because i find it all such a load of self congratulatory BS.

@SecretCoconut I'll not hide behind the autocorrect, spelling fail on my part due to the speed at which I wanted to get that off my chest 😁

I work with a grown woman who says lickle and hospickle. I end up saying them back to her correctly over-pronouncing them.
Arghhh...

My DH has recently developed an incredibly irritating habit of shortening loads of words that really do not need shortening. For example, he will ask me if I want a coff (coffee) or, even worse, refers to Asda as Az. I think he even annoys himself but he can't seem to stop doing it.

Beautiful inside and out- makes it sound like they’ve got really pretty kidneys or a really nice looking spleen.

Wearing a scarf at your desk.

Loud office walking/stomping.

This has really tickled me for some reason.
Could be worse, he could refer to it as Azzy. I once heard someone say Tezzas.

People who say "the wife" "the husband"
people who use the phrase "pregnancy annoucment"

@5128gap Oh god, Azzy would be worse. It is sometimes 'the Az' which makes me want to punch his face.

Less these days but people who start an answer with the word 'so'.

Also people who use phrases eg ' outside of my comfort zone' or 'my go-to'
Spare me please.

My colleagues, and women in general being massive martyrs. Just have a fucking lunch break, the company won’t crumble in your absence

@ifIwerenotanandroid this is exactly my DH. Every night when I decide to read or do my daily word game and there's a break in his football, he starts checking out recipes on Instagram. Not content with annoying me with tapping and scrolling he starts saying "oh look" we can have this next week, or I've just sent you this, turns screen round. He knows by my stony face and says oh will I shut up now? Aye ffs shut your chops lol 😆

People at the gym (and it's overwhelmingly young women) who use the treadmill just for walking. Not even speed walking, just walking at a regular pace and staring at their phones. I'd get it if it was part of gearing up to actually running or jogging but they don't, they just walk!

I can only guess that they prefer using the treadmill rather than just walking somewhere because there's no chance of them bumping into something while their eyes are glued to their phone. I'm only 26 and I find myself grumbling about young people (quite a few of whom are older than me) and phones far too often.

@ImNotAsThinkAsYouDrunkIAm -

"He probably has kids who refuse to continue with what they want to say until
you acknowledge them.

I’ve given up trying to get my kids to just say what they want to say and am now resigned to saying ‘yes [name of child]’ every time they start ‘Mummy……’"

This made me laugh - my DS10 is the same - he says,
"Mum, can I tell you something?"
Before telling me the most inane thing… About every little thing.

It's as though we are some kind of Victorian parents who require him to ask permission before he speaks.
We are about as far from strict Victorian parents as you could get....

I've just got no idea where it's come from, but he does it all the time!

@Siriusmuggle
The thing about wearing a scarf is - it is so lovely and cosy [bloody cold house]... and now I wear a scarf nearly all the time... makes such a difference to how warm you feel.
Albeit not always a full on woolly one, even a v long silky one, wrapped round and round makes a massive difference....

God I've written loads.

Just remembered, adding S to the end of shops

Asdas

BnMs

WE ARE pregnant

Gender reveals

Also EXPRESSO

YES!! Most contestants on Pointless are guilty of that. They fall into the same category as people who begin a sentence with "I mean". 🤬

Missing out the word ‘to’. “Are you going town tonight?” “Are you going pub?” It’s TO town! TO the pub!

SO many things about my MIL. Most recent is that she's taken to pronouncing the word "sweet" as "swit" always - ALWAYS - accompanied by a wince. She's mildly diabetic and my GOD don't we know it. She can't eat mangoes: too swit. Can't eat grapes: too swit. Can't have plain yogurt ffs: too swit. Bakes with no more than a third of the sugar the recipe calls for and then complains whatever she's made is too swit (never mind that it tastes fucking rank). Everything in her fridge is low fat and diet - and still too swit. My DC refuse to eat at her house now, which is terrible but I can't really blame them. God she drives me mad with this swit shit.

For balance: my DM drives me mental with her hyperbole. Nothing is every mildly irritating or annoying or just bad. No. Everything is "horrific" or "horrendous". Had to wait 3 mins on hold for the GP's surgery: absolutely "horrendous" wasting her time like this (she's retired and basically does fuck all all day). Bit nippy today? Horrific weather at this time of year. Temporary traffic lights prolonging her 7 minute drive to Tescos to 13 minutes? Horrendous delays, horrific traffic.

Eating breakfast at their desk. Bowls of cornflakes, whatever you want. Slopping milk. And pretending or kidding themselves they really really are applying themselves fully to the task they are doing.
Bacon butties, sausage butties.

It never used to be so.

I have breakfast before I get to work. Not once I have started.

Most Facebook posts. Just seen one wishing a happy birthday to "my hubby, my rock, my favourite person 🥰" Ffs you live with him, just wish him happy birthday to his face and make him a cake or something, like we used to do in the old days. I have to be on Facebook for work, otherwise I wouldn't bother with it at all.

My colleague has four children, aged between 16 and 24. She talks about them constantly to everybody which would be fine but she acts out their conversations and puts on ridiculous high pitched lispy voices for the children, complete with weird toddler style language. As in "I told Beatrice not to use all the rice cereal and she said Awww Noooooo Mummy but I wuvs my wice kwispies".

I have met her children many times, they are really nice, and speak like ordinary adults. The eldest volunteered at our work for a few weeks in the summer and I felt so embarrassed for her that her mum had made this weird spoilt baby persona for her.
Luckily as she sounds nothing like one of the rugrats in real life people might not have made the connection.

Not just Pointless, but Tipping Point and The Chase, too. Annoys tf out of me. Talking of TP, it also annoys tf out of me when the contestants don't know when to press the button and then are surprised when they get a "rider". And those that say that pretty well every subject "is not their strong point". WTF are you doing on a quiz show? I was never a big fan of Ben Shephard (although I don't dislike him), but I now admire the guy for his restraint in not severely slapping a lot of them.