What annoys you about someone that has no effect on you whatsoever but still irritates the hell out of you.

[gettingolderandgrumpier]

a colleague will not put her phone on silent ( in case of emergency) but will leave in her bag and every times it rings and it’s often a cold call she will leap in the air in panic to turn the phone off .
I’ve said leave it on vibrate , leave it on your desk so you can turn it off quicker but no . She never answers it and grumbles that it’s cold calls .
I’m not bothered about the phone ringing but this leaping up in panic and a mad scramble for her phone makes me want to hit her with her daft phone .
why not leave on your desk or stop panicking every time it rings I don’t get it .
i know it has no effect on my life but I’m worried she may have a panic induced heart attack ( I’m joking ) .
share with me lighthearted irritations that you have.

People who write ‘Gawjus hun, you look stunning!’ beneath selfies of other women on SM.

And they never do look “gawjus” or stunning. They either look like two miles of bad road, or are so heavily filtered that they’re yet look like they’ve escaped from Area 51.

I'm usually putting my shopping in my rucksack or in another bag that already has stuff in it. It's much quicker to pack it afterwards than to deal with the till robot constantly have a wobbly.

Don't forget the crocs and the 'biccy' crumbs! Otherwise how will anyone know how earthly and virtuous they are?

Remember: on MN, being well turned out at any point in the day is a sign of wickedness and is always deliberately and specifically done to be a snob and make other people feel bad.

I hadn't noticed a class thing about it; but if there is, I wonder if it may be that middle class people are more able to enjoy winter because they're more likely to be able to afford to heat their homes? Though we're now approaching the point where no one who isn't Bill Gates will be able to afford to heat their home!

AKA
People who make you feel inferior because you're insecure about not living up to society's unreasonable expectation of what a woman should be.
Your bitterness is misdirected.

I recently put a photo on Facebook, ordinary old me. Mid fifties, portly, bog standard. Someone commented "stunning". Can't work out if it's a compliment or a piss take. I have never been stunning!

Groups of people who stand on the pavement right at a zebra crossing just chatting (with no intention of crossing) 🙄

@LindorDoubleChoc that's your opinion that it's a waste of time and I think you sound abit jealous.

What bugs me is performance parenting i think is the term used. At my dc's swimming lesson another mum waits with the sibling and does extra loud homework to show how good they are for putting in so much effort with their child and how smart their child is for all to hear and to top it off last week they followed the homework with shall we stop at the shop to buy some really nice bread for the casserole I have made for dinner?! Nobody cares or feels inferior to your bread!!

So many… I am a deeply intolerant person. In no particular order:

The expression “fur baby”.

Entitled parking on double yellows, across driveways, in disabled or parent and child spaces. Especially anyone justifying it with “I’m only going to be a minute!” or “There’s nowhere else!” all because their little legs won’t carry them 50m from a proper parking space.

Tories

People who moan about the same things over and over again instead of bloody well doing something about it - I.e my mother and her “too small freezer”. She is very comfortably off and lives alone in a large 3 bedroom house. She could buy another freezer in a heartbeat and stick it in the kitchen, shed or one of her many spacious walk in cupboards. Problem solved. But instead she is worried about “my lack of freezer space”, complains her freezer is too small, sighs helplessly, “I wish I had a bigger freezer” and grumbles, “It’s ok for you - you have a big freezer”. 😱 😱

People who are overly critical and force their opinions on others

This guy in my office, let’s call him Carl.
whenever someone calls his name for attention (ie before starting a request, sentence etc) he says hello!
me: Carl
him :Hello

every single time all day. Drives me insane!

Dear God yes, vocal fry; I want to gag them.

People my bloody mother who hold their phone up to their mouth then have a conversation on loud speaker.

He probably has kids who refuse to continue with what they want to say until
you acknowledge them.

I’ve given up trying to get my kids to just say what they want to say and am now resigned to saying ‘yes [name of child]’ every time they start ‘Mummy……’

Yes I know someone who NEVER wears a coat , it could minus 10 and just wears a cardigan. It has no effect on me whatsoever but I annoys me I really want to say wear a coat but I can’t obviously. She also is a little obsessed with the weather well if you wear a bloody coat when it rains or it’s cold it won’t matter as much will it .

I used to work with a woman who kept cordial in the fridge and would use a black pen to mark the level to put co-workers off using it.

She also used to keep packets of biscuits in her drawer and would staple the ends of the packets closed in case someone stole one.

She was also a prize bitch 😄

I really don’t like the non-words ‘ick’ and ‘meh’.

Performance parenting over the phone.

Had a colleague a few years ago like this. Could speak in a normal voice on the telephone unless it was the late afternoon i.e. after school and she was TALKING.TO.HER.KIDS. Perfectly normal conversation with them.

For some reason, the whole workplace had to hear it !

Same woman was in a state and saying she might not be at work the following day. The reason ? Turns out her period was due......

She was in her thirties !

I hate it when people say 'slippy' or 'crispy'. It's 'slippery' & 'crisp' FFS.

Also fewer/less & number/amount used wrongly. STOP IT!!

pmsl 😂

I'm so glad this thread has been started as I was planning to start one on this topic but I felt petty so didn't!!

**For me it's false eyelashes!
If you wear them do you honestly think they look natural?

The only kind of person who is likely to have natural luscious thick eyelashes are either children or those young women blessed with the weird kind of 'doe eyed' beauty that is so rare you're unlikely to have it! And it's nearly always on those with huge dark eyes.

I'll concede that they can look ok in photos, but are you seriously wearing them on the off chance someone will pap you? 🙄

And it makes no difference if you're wearing strip, magnetic, those ones that are individual, the ones 'just to thicken my own lashes', or any other kind, if you're of average looks, (like most of us are) in real life they look shite!

**as the OP states, this makes no difference to me at all and it could be because I'm battling peri menopause now, but false eyelashes give me the (irrational) rage! 👿

I don't know about that, @ToWhitToWhoo, we can afford to heat our home (thank god), and I still bloody hate winter.

But I do think there's a MC attitude that too much pleasure is somehow unseemly. So holidays in soggy Cornwall or wet and windy Wales rather than Majorca or Greece. Or if they do go abroad it's camping in France or self-catering in a remote villa nowhere near anywhere, rather than an all inclusive hotel or apartment in a resort centre near nice bars and tavernas. Just to make sure no one has too much fun, and Mum can do still do all the crap she does at home, but in a less convenient location.

Or at Christmas, when presents for the DC are restricted to "something they need, something they want, something to wear and something to read", as if the twee little rhyme makes up for that being stingy AF. And then they're not allowed to open them till after lunch, because...I don't know, maybe in the hope that the anticipation will make them seem less disappointing?

Dear reader, I <insert choice of words>

Irritating somehow. Used, in type, both here and elsewhere.

I don’t have my mum anymore either and I can tell you, that’s always just driven me mad, even when she was still here! I can’t stand when people say ‘mum says’ or ‘dad did’ …. I don’t know why but it drives me insane! I can’t even begin to take a stab at why, it’s just ick inducing to me !