What annoys you about someone that has no effect on you whatsoever but still irritates the hell out of you.

[gettingolderandgrumpier]

a colleague will not put her phone on silent ( in case of emergency) but will leave in her bag and every times it rings and it’s often a cold call she will leap in the air in panic to turn the phone off .
I’ve said leave it on vibrate , leave it on your desk so you can turn it off quicker but no . She never answers it and grumbles that it’s cold calls .
I’m not bothered about the phone ringing but this leaping up in panic and a mad scramble for her phone makes me want to hit her with her daft phone .
why not leave on your desk or stop panicking every time it rings I don’t get it .
i know it has no effect on my life but I’m worried she may have a panic induced heart attack ( I’m joking ) .
share with me lighthearted irritations that you have.

My DH is absolutely my best friend. He's been through thick and thin with me for 20 years. He's my priority over and above anyone else.

These are fantastic!

I have 2 so far:

1. My FIL, when he's been on the phone to my nephew, then has to tell us the whole thing using a kind of child voice for my nephew's side of the conversation.

So it goes:
"I said "how are you today pal?", he said "good fanks gan-gad", I said "how's the weather there?" he said "brrr cold gan-gad"" and so on and so on. My nephew is 31, married with a child, works in a bank and does actually speak like a fully functioning adult, so God knows why FIL still tries to make him sound like he's about 4. Bizarre.

2. I used to work with a woman who loved to complete the end of everyone's sentences, just a beat behind. So if someone was talking about going Christmas shopping, she'd chime in at the end "......ping", someone talking about training for a marathon got ".....thon". Once I noticed it, I realised that it was harder for her to do it with one syllable words, so I took great delight in trying to end every sentence like that. It worked for a wee while, until I had to develop a fake coughing fit one day to cover up my laughter when I'd said that I'd taken my dogs out for a pee, and she went ".....ee" 😂😂. Bless her, she was absolutely lovely, so I let her live.

And I, of course, am practically perfect in every way 😇

People who bombard Facebook with a stream of close up photos of their face taken from the same odd angle and with their tongue sticking out or a big display of teeth.

People who sit at the table in a restaurant with a group and choose not to have anything to eat themselves. It's none of my business if they're on a diet, it's not my problem if they go hungry, I know some people really struggle with eating in public, but it feels disruptive.

People who stand for ages in the airport security queue on their phones and then finally get to the trays and only then start emptying their pockets one piece at a time, realising that they have to put liquids into a transparent plastic bag despite it now happening for years and multiple signs and warnings, faffing with laptops and belts. I think I must be George Clooney in the film Up in the Air. It does kind of impact on everyone else as it means everyone needs to queue longer.

People who can see I've got a trolley full of food, who start to put their shopping on the end of my conveyer belt before I've finished unloading my trolley, meaning I have to either stack food on-top of each other or push their food back

People who use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets, scan a bunch of items, pay and only then pack the items into a bag, always one by one and super slowly.

Worse are the ones who scan, and then spend half an hour fiddling with their cards on their phone, try one after another that all get declined, muck around transferring funds on the shonky shop wifi, then disappear to find something else while the queue builds up behind them.

I see this all the time at work and it sets my teeth on edge.

@CarrieMoonbeams I used to have a cleaner who did that finishing words thing - drove me insane!

When you listening to adverts and they say things like "Released on January 7"...gives me the rage! It's January 7th or the 7th of January!
And breath!

People, especially at work, who say 'right' after saying something. I have a number of companies as my customers so have to talk to them regularly about the services we supply them, and I've noticed an increasing number of people who do this. They'll say something, and then say 'right?'

They are implying that what they are saying is not only obviously correct but that I understand and is already in agreement with them. Which most of the time im not!

'Basically' is another one, you ask a question and someone says 'basically' before they give you an answer, I find it so condescending, because if it was basic I'd not have needed to ask you ffs

As you can see I'm a little fed up with work lol

I have a colleague who I don't really know as we are in different teams but we're hot desking so quite often I sit next to him and oh my god, he eats continually!

He'll come in with a massive shopping bag and then grazes throughout the day. Oh and of course he has milk in the fridge with his name plastered all over it in black marker. Doesn't affect me at all but oh it really irritates me, and it's usually a 4 pint bottle, how much bloody milk can you use as one person?

I have another one as it’s weather related people constantly telling me it’s snowing yes I see I have eyes . Then followed by I hope we don’t get snowed in oh yes those couple of flakes are causing havoc .
I’m convinced people just love the drama of overacting which gives me the rage 😡

Should say overreacting not overacting autocorrect 😡

My colleague has a beard.

@Floofydawg "......ane"

😂

Oh yes. Happens in MN all the time. Someone complains about their DH never taking them out, for example, or making a fuss of them. Then someone posts about how their DH takes them out. How does that help the OP? It would be okay if they followed up with something like, you deserve more, or you should have higher expectations but no, they just think we give a damn about are interested in their lives.

Agree entirely! I absolutely hate it.

One of my friends.
When she is sitting down, eating at a table, she keeps her elbows out at right angles to her body.
She looks like a chicken.

My upstairs neighbour who keeps loudly hawking up snot, sometimes every couple of minutes.

And the man who sat next to me at the cinema crunching crisps for the first 30 minutes of the Banshees of Inisherin.

That IS madness! Gave me a giggle.

Yes! DP stands up and announces he’s off somewhere but then just stands there staring at his phone, hovering. So you can’t start anything – TV, a book, a task – because he’s lurking and in the way, but will also interrupt 5-10 minutes in to announce he’s off somewhere again. Makes me want to shout GO AWAY. Which to be fair sometimes I do.

But in terms of things that have no effect on me whatsoever but still annoy me: the builders upstairs who are installing the loo but keep calling it the toilet. Will it get installed in the same timeframe? Sure. Is it like nails on a blackboard? Yes, I’m hissing like an angry goose down here.

Also people who sit down to put their shoes on, like fucking imbeciles.

Hawking up snot 😂😂😂. My daughter was on a two week coach tour and one of the people on her coach did this, she said it ruined her holiday.

My colleague uses his phone on loudspeaker, but hold it up to his mouth. So he can't even say it's to make use of hands-free, as he still has to hold it up. Why not just hold it that leeeeetle bit higher, against your ear?! Plus, we all have to enjoy the convo out loud (usually absolute nonsense)

Petty? Yes. Nothing to do with me? Absolutely. But it annoys the fuckery fuck out of me!!!

People who make a blanket statement and then immediately backpedal with a sentence that directly contradicts what they just said. It might be an attempt to appear diplomatic or smart but it is so incredibly annoying and frustrating as hell to listen to. Eg.

"I hate London because it's so loud and busy. But of course there are really nice areas too."

"My new diet is very strict and I'm cutting out all carbs. Except you know me, I can't resist the occasional pasta. And I love alcohol haha can't give up on that."

"We're thinking of switching nurseries because we don't like the staff there. Though DD does have a wonderful time and they can be lovely too."

People who have lost weight (great) but post themselves in underwear or the skimpiest outfit they can find to show their weight loss (not great). Why do they associate being thin with walking around half dressed?

Working with people who are moaning about their job e.g complaints handlers getting huffy about dealing with complaints ermmm refer to your job title, you ain't in prison, go do something else