DD is hating swimming lessons, advice please

champagneplanet · 2023-03-08T18:06:15+00:00

DD2 is almost six and started swimming lessons around 5 weeks ago. She loves the pool and playing around and is confident (with arm bands) but she is hating the lessons, says it's too hard, says she can't do it, etc. DD1 started at a similar age and was fine. She can swim well now. My question is can I teach her myself? Has anyone done it to a good enough standard? Or do I persevere and make her do the lessons hoping she gets used to it? She's very headstrong and stubborn for her age. I'm a good swimmer and was naively thinking I could swim myself while she was in her lesson!

JussathoB · 08/03/2023 18:20

I would try a few individual lessons for her. If she’s generally happy in the water, it may not take many lessons to get her going, and you might be able to practice with her in between to build up her strength. Don’t push too fast though.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 08/03/2023 18:23

The lessons are supposed to be hard to start with, i would kerp going. Oh and bin the arm bands, when you take her swimming you need to mirtor how her teacher teaches hrer

MunsteadWood · 08/03/2023 18:24

I'd persevere with it a bit longer personally. 5 weeks is still early days.

My DS (5) was similar when he started lessons and used to kick up a massive fuss about going, which I think was because he found it difficult.

We kept telling him that of course he found it difficult, because he'd just started and he was still learning, but the more he practiced the more he'd be able to do it. Then made a big thing of little improvements.

He really loves it now, and is so proud of himself every time he achieves something new.

I seriously considered pulling him out of lessons in the early days but am so glad I didn't now, and also think it's been really good for him to learn that it can pay off to work at something you find hard.

tourdefrance · 08/03/2023 18:26

What time are the lessons? If it’s after school she may just be too tired.

But if not, I’d give it a few more weeks eg till Easter and if not improved have a break. Keep going to the pool as a family and see if private lessons might be an option at some point.

TeenDivided · 08/03/2023 18:26

Get rid of armbands when fun swimming and switch to noodles.
Play games in fun swim that involve having face in the water.
Offer an incentive.

TeenDivided · 08/03/2023 18:27

We found doing races was a good way to get DD2 to practice.

Slimjimtobe · 08/03/2023 18:28

Persevere and also bring her yourself regularly (but still do the lessons)

it takes a year in my experience or at least 9 months with a weekly lesson

MunsteadWood · 08/03/2023 18:29

That said, his teacher is absolutely brilliant, which I'm sure is a major factor. She knows just how much to push, and when a gentler approach works better.

carriedout · 08/03/2023 18:31

I had one who didn't like it, I stopped and restarted a year later.

Risk if you force it is you put them off for good.

PermanentTemporary · 08/03/2023 18:32

Personally I would stop them for a bit. I get all the perseverance stuff but she's only 6!

Ds used to be beyond exhausted after swimming lessons, so much so that we would have a screaming row every week. He is otherwise very equable so it really stood out. He also didn't seem to be learning that fast and it was expensive.

In the same summer we stayed at a place with a pool, I took him in there every morning and by the end of the week he was a confident swimmer. I never bothered with lessons again.

Lastnamedidntstick · 08/03/2023 18:35

If she’s 6 and using armbands do you have the knowledge to teach her?

most who know anything about swimming don’t use them. She will be finding lessons hard because she’s completely having to learn from scratch how to balance her body in the water, which will hurt her confidence. If you say she’s confident in water she probably thinks she is too. Take away the armbands and she’s a non-swimmer.

stick with the lessons, take her at the weekend, and ditch the armbands.

WafflingDreamer · 08/03/2023 18:36

I think it depends on a lot. Mine hated lessons at our local leisure centre as the groups were big (10 children in a class and often 4 classes in the pool at once) but they loved smaller lessons as there were only 3 in a class and they kept siblings together so it was much calmer and they got a lot more attention. The down side to that obviously it cost a lot more, local leisure centre was £7 for 30 mins and small group was £18/20

FinallyHere · 08/03/2023 18:38

In an ideal world you would know what it is that seems hard to your DD, and then decide from there.

A few 121 sessions with the teacher might make all the difference. Or just waiting six months, depending on what the struggle is.

Good luck. My father, who could not swim, taught me to swim. It took me a lot of lessons as an adult to get my style sorted out.

Basilis · 08/03/2023 18:47

Maybe try a different provider. Some have a different way of teaching that might be more fun. We changed to one where they don't use armbands. They get them able to stay afloat, dog paddle. Then they work on strokes. They played diving games and raced and jumped in. DD found i better than the leisure centre here, where they do repeated widths, trying to do crawl or breast stroke, when they can't float yet. Whilst it was fine for some, it didn't work for DD or my friend's 2nd DC.

Favouritefruits · 08/03/2023 18:56

Definitely persevere, it’s such an important life skill and if your DD is like most children will mess about whilst you yourself try to teach her, a qualified instructor is the best option. Five weeks is still early days I know you said she says it’s hard but it’s meant to be hard, if it was easy nobody would need lessons.

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 08/03/2023 19:01

Mine hated lessons - had a stomach ache each week. She was 5.
I changed to smaller classes (the first were big classes at the local leisure centre) and she was fine. That was 25 years ago. She swam competitively for years, qualified as a swimming teacher and enjoys open water swims.
5 is still very little and it’s important to get the right fit with classes.

ShamedBySiri · 08/03/2023 19:05

The weather's vile, it's cold, maybe she hates all that side of it? There are some good childrens' books about swimming I read to mine, and we dragged ourselves off most weekends so swimming was a part of life.

I would beware of advice from pp to ditch armbands - does she use armbands in the lesson? Then surely that is up to the swimming teacher.

The teacher my DD went to used foam rings (not blow up armbands) 3 (each arm) to begin with and gradually reducing one at a time as they improved, and each lesson included a short period with no armbands under close 1:1 supervision.

At the end of the spring term DD2 managed to swim a few strokes without armbands and decided she was a swimmer and didn't need them any more. We went swimming a few times over the Easter holidays and she continued to swim without armbands, 1:1 with either me or DH managing short distances.

At the start of the next term I was slightly late for the first session. DD2 ran behind the teacher and jumped in further up the pool past the last child in the line and out of her depth, I had failed to let the teacher know she was there but went straight to join the queue of mothers paying the teacher's assistant who would normally be patrolling the pool keeping a close eye on the children except at that one time. Chatting to the other mothers I turned around and said "Where's DD2?" Everyone turned and looked at which point a hand appeared from the water and grabbed the side of the pool followed by another hand and a coughing, crying DD2 wailing "I thought I'd be drownded".

The teacher and her assistant exchanged meaningful looks, and the teacher calmly helped DD2 out and said "I think we'll put the armbands back on" and escorted her back to the shallow end and continued the lesson.

Yes it was entirely my fault and DD2 nearly drowned in the middle of her swimming lesson.

Don't be in a hurry to ditch armbands unless that is how she is swimming at her lessons with the guidance of the teacher.

CatSpeakForDummies · 08/03/2023 19:17

Can you take her yourself between lessons for fun and to work on the things she finds hard. Pick one thing each week, try and think of a fun way to practice it.

Swimming is almost the secondary lesson, it sounds like not giving up when things are difficult will be just as valuable a skill.

Original poster

champagneplanet · 08/03/2023 19:40

We do occasionally go as a family and i've been letting her play in the big pool/show me what she learnt after the lesson finishes if she joins in nicely.

The lesson is 4:30 after school, she's usually full of beans and wants to go.

I'm trying to show her that with practice she can be as good as the other children. Like with reading, writing, etc she didn't know how to do that but with practice she's now very good. She understands when we're on dry land but as soon as the lesson starts it's a different story!

I will definitely persevere, i'm not backing down. I will take the armbands away and get a noodle, I appreciate thats probably going against the teaching and is a bit of a comfort blanket. I just don't want to push it too much so she starts to hate it, and also I want her to start young too.

I'll give it a few weeks more and maybe look at private lessons. The class is stage 1 but the ability varies greatly so she's maybe a little intimidated by some of the tasks. When she does join in though she's very good.

OP posts:

Lastnamedidntstick · 08/03/2023 20:08