Dominant person at work

[LuciferRising]

If you are mid-senior level at work, how do you professionally deal with a peer at your level who jumps in and gets involved in your areas of responsibility? Or takes the lead on meetings by jumping in quickly to take control even if it is your area?

We are Heads and I am one of 3 and I would have to be rude and cut over someone before they finished to get a point across so that I could simply take control. Stakeholders are external so it is difficult to jump across him without looking unprofessional.

I can't deny this person is an excellent communicator. They are good and clear, but completely dominate.

It's likely I will chat with them, but any other ideas?

Not easy and depends on the roles. Are you both involved in the same projects? Who is the lead? I've had this situation. If you're working on the same project then it needs a strong lead by the manager to ensure areas of responsibility are clear. If you're the lead its up to you to take control, it may feel rude to say 'sorry to stop you there Mike but it's really a question for Jane'.

If its a problem, speak to them discreetly beforehand, they may simply be over enthusiastic and full of ideas rather than interfering.

We have different areas of responsibility. Their area is smaller with fewer direct reports. An example in a recent external call, I was relaying my opinion, he then jumped in with a 'Can I just add...' and then takes the whole thing over. He adds his thoughts, then clarifies, then asks for questions that get directed to him. I may get a 'Lucifer could you please explain...' but by then he is in control.

I would find that incredibly annoying. Can you say, 'yes, I'll just finish what I'm saying first'

You need to nip this in the bud with a private talk though. Sounds like he has no right to do this.

There will be a couple of more senior roles coming out and I wonder whether he is attempting to showcase himself.

I would say there's a polite way to chip in. Such as 'that's a great idea x, it falls within my remit so it's probably most efficient for me to look into that as it's part of my role' or 'that lines up well with x piece of work I have underway so I'm happy to carry that idea forward and can update at the next meeting'. Or 'I have a few more things to update on but we can circle back to that afterwards, I'll make a note of it'.

I think in the best case scenario people who do this usually have imposter syndrome so are just trying to prove their worth with low self esteem.

I'm the one with imposter syndrome and he is making it twitch! He has buckets of confidence and is very eloquent. I end up sitting there thinking they all think I am stupid.

Yuck. These men are the worst.

You absolutely need to save something back for when he finally shuts up along the lines of “if I could just finish off what I was saying“ then launch into the killer point.

It’s just willy waving really isn’t it

Yuck. These men are the worst.

In the past I had more issues with younger women keen to push forward their career.
As manager I spoke to them and pointed out it was rude and unprofessional. If they had something they felt they could add they should take it up with the appropriate lead and focus on their own work.

Could you deal with his part of the meeting first and suggest he leaves.

'Could you deal with his part of the meeting first and suggest he leaves.'

Thats the thing, it isn't really his meeting or work at all.

I am going to speak with him.

Thats the thing, it isn't really his meeting or work at all.

Don't invite him. If he turns up ask him to leave.