SAHP = No references =no work

[StuckHome]

I have been a SAHM for 10 years. This has been due to wanting to be a SAHM, having no extended family to help, chronic health problems and COVID. I am now finally in a position to return to work but can’t see a way back to the workplace as I no longer have any references, and foolishly didn’t maintain contacts.
Research has taught me that I should start with a voluntary job, but even those require references which I don’t have. I can’t afford to do any courses. I want a call Centre job or shop work. For anyone who has been in my position, how did you get back to work without any references?

Did you use a childminder or nursery at all? Would they give a character reference - you often liaise more closely with them during handovers etc so they might know you a bit better than school?

And yes, if the organisation you last worked for stills exists, they should still have records of your dates of employment even if the staff have changed. Might be worth a call to them to find out.

You just want someone to verify you are who you say you are really.

Also, speak to the job centre with respect to training courses - there may well be some free ones you are eligible for.

It honestly seems to be harder to get volunteer roles than paid employment. I would go for a paid role and explain your predicament if you get through the process. Often if they are not large multinational corporations or nhs/council with stringent hr checks the recruitment process might be a bit more forgiving to peoples circumstances. Good luck!

I went and did an adult education course and used them for a reference

If I were you I'd ring an organisation / chairs I wanted to apply to and ask what they'd suggest.
Covid and a chronic condition obviously make things a lot harder than when I was seeking work after 10 years out.

^this

I was a SAHM for 15 years and when I went back to work character references were accepted.

Have you helped out at cubs/brownies/football etc ?

PTA doesn't require references to volunteer for ime.

Could you do a short College course/evening class and use that for a reference?

Small local charities who you can get to know in person will often have more flexibility. They may require a DBS check but being a SAHP won't get in the way of that. Friends of your local park/playground/cemetery/church is a good one to look into especially if you don't mind a bit of gardening.

Charity shops offer obvious potential for theft, which is why they need to be a bit more careful.

PTA or volunteering in your child's school (reading support etc) won't require references and then you can use the school or your fellow PTA volunteers as a referee.

Is there anything you could do to earn a small amount of money on a self employed basis? E.g. cleaning or ironing etc? If you did this for a few months and had regular clients, they might then be willing to write you a reference?

Volunteering regularly in school eg to hear readers will almost certainly require two references and a full DBS check. Those references wouldn’t necessarily need to be from an employer, but I would be very concerned about a school that allowed quasi unsupervised access to children without the same level of checks as if you were an employee.

PTA is obviously a different story, particularly if you’re not in an officer type position.

Are you on LinkedIn? You can contact old colleagues / bosses that way.

I just explained my gap was due to raising kids, what skills I learnt in that time and gave references for jobs 8 years earlier. Got the jobs no problem.

The people I'd worked with had moved on but I just put company name and main contact number.

I volunteer with a charity called Little Village (a baby bank helping families in need) they don't require references, just enthusiasm and a clean DBS, they provide training and have remote roles. I do family liaison calls from home and they're always looking for more.

My DH was a SAHD for 15yrs and he called the companies he worked for prior to that and got the HR point of contact that could confirm his dates of employment and put them down as the employment references. The references don’t have to be your line supervisor or manager when it’s been years ago. In fact it’s accepted that anything over 3yrs, chances are your line manager will have moved on to another role in another company.

That’s what my DH did too…as well as putting down the HR contacts to confirm his prior employment and roles.

OP you don’t have to start at square one by volunteering like someone just starting out in paid work.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond to my thread. I’ve been feeling hopeless about it all and you have given me some hope back.
I never anticipated trying to get a job would be so hard. It’s been good to get some support and validation from you all because it’s in short supply in my real life.

@RuddyLaura no, I didn’t use a childminder or private nursery because I’ve been a SAHM the whole decade.
I checked if the organisation still exists that I worked for last and it does, so I will contact them tomorrow.
@UpUpAndAwol I did consider doing that. I would ideally rather do paid work. I thought I would just be able to phone a charity shop and volunteer. I really didn’t think I’d have to jump through so many hoops, just to help. I just thought it would be a trial day.
@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads no, I haven’t done anything like that. That might be something to consider too.
@SweetCharityBeginsAtHome Yes, a DBS check would be fine. It’s a shame that couldn’t be used for all charity organisations really. It would be far more straightforward.
@Postapocalypticcowgirl I wouldn’t know where to start with setting up a small business.
@bumpytrumpy No, I’m not on LinkedIn.

I am a volunteer in a charity shop and had to give references when I started. I am freelance, self-employed and haven't had a "proper job" for 20 years.

Really, all they want in terms of references is for someone to vouch for you and say you're not the type to turn up drunk, thump your colleagues or steal all the takings from the till. I think when I applied I gave the name of my friend who's a nurse, and my neighbour who works at the Post Office.

I would really encourage you to volunteer for a shift a week as a starting point, you'll learn loads, meet new people and gain new skills. The sector is desperate for volunteers and they will welcome you with open arms.

I work in HR. A lack of references will not necessarily represent an issue at all. Your main hurdle will be getting an interview. Once you have a job offer in the bag you can ask your prospective employer for their thoughts regarding references. To be perfectly honest, I find them to be a complete waste of time unless recruiting for roles that require them as part of a regulatory framework.

@QueefQueen80s Thats made me feel a bit more hopeful too, it’s good to hear success stories from people who have been in a similar position.
@SuperDuperJezebel Thats really useful, thank you for that tip. I will look into whether they are in my area.
Thank you @Onnabugeisha, that’s made me feel more hopeful too because your DH had been in my situation longer. It’s good to know it’s possible.
Thats exactly how I have been feeling - like I need to start at square one. There is a thought going around in my head all of the time that I’ve failed somehow. I need to try and put it in perspective, and the success stories on here are encouraging.

Good luck! Even if you're not in the area, you can do the home based calling from anywhere in the UK ☺️

@StuckHome I'm glad you've got a couple of leads to try, I thought it might be a long shot with childcare, but what about toddler groups or play group? Even dc's friends' parents, if you've got to know them a bit? Don't feel like you've failed - you've made decisions that made the best sense to your family at the time and now it's time for a change. Yes you do basically have to start again, but IME the route up is quicker than first time around, as you have a lot more life experience to help you, which is often valued. Plus sometimes it's nice to ease your way back in without too stressful a job! Best of luck x