Hi, Im here needing some advice please.
I've been trying to deal with a really shitty year and I thought I was coping ok until I wasn’t.
Ive been living with my ex for the last year while trying to sell our house - I was with him for 7 years. As much I dislike him for all the name calling , mental abuse , physical , invasion of privacy and other stuff I can only remember the good times. Going home is a constant anxiety because he’ll either hate me or want to get back together.
Im making steps to getting my own place to rent but now I’m panicking because of money, being on my own and also scared I’m throwing it all away and I’m leaving my dog.
I know I should be elated that I’m getting away and I get days where I am but my mind is all over the place. Every day I wake up putting a smile on my face for everyone when all I want to do is disappear. I looked at taking more than I should of my antidepressants the other day but couldn’t go ahead with it - I was so desperate to
stop feeling the sadness and frustration of being controlled.
Ive got to the point where I don’t know where to turn - I don’t want to upset my family or friends by saying how desperate I am and I’m scared people will think I’m overreacting. I also don’t want to lose my job which is the only way I can pay to get out of my house.