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Original poster

Four year old won't drink enough

77 replies

Violet1988 · 04/03/2023 17:51

My four year old son comes home from preschool with his water bottle full every day. In the morning he drinks a small cup (150mls or so) of semi skimmed milk. I think he gets a cup of water or juice at lunch time, not sure if he drinks that. He then has another milk with a snack when he gets home (150ml) and then a water with his tea. He manages 150mls of water but only because he doesn't get dessert if he doesn't finish his drink. By choice he probably wouldn't bother with this either. He has a water bottle to take to bed and he occasionally has a few sips from this.
Preschool have suggested giving him squash in his school bottle. I'm not sure about this because I don't want him sipping on squash throughout the day, if he's having squash i think it would be better with meals, rather than sips here and there. He does need to drink more though but not sure how to get him to? I drink cold herbal fruit tea. Not sure if this would be healthier than giving him no added sugar squash or should I try diluting orange juice (the kind that goes in the fridge not squash). Any ideas? X

OP posts:
Nocutenamesleft · 05/03/2023 14:52

I’d give him squash. It’s better he drinks anything than nothing

my daughters both see nephrologists and they all say what I said above. Not drinking enough can make the kidneys work really hard and once the damage is done there’s no coming back from it.

NannyR · 05/03/2023 14:53

The four year old I look after drinks very little too. He has a drink at breakfast time which he doesn't often finish, I presume he has a cup of water with lunch at school, his water bottle often comes home untouched, he will have a drink at snack, tea and bed but he doesn't drink much of them. However he's fit and healthy and wees plenty, so he's getting what he needs from somewhere, he has free access to water all day (which is his drink of preference) so I take the line that if he's thirsty he will drink and don't worry about it otherwise.

Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 14:54

NuffSaidSam · 05/03/2023 14:47

I think this is maybe the issue, he isn't in the habit of drinking little and often or recognising he's thirsty and getting a drink for himself. He's just presented with 150ml at set times and instructed to drink it whether he's thirsty or not. It's all too regulated and rigid.

Show quote history

You might be right that he needs to get used to drinking little and often. I don't measure out 150ml by the way I'm not a water measuring maniac 🤣 i just fill his cup and for the purpose of this thread checked what it actually measured and it was 150ml. It's probably me I can't eat food without having a drink with it so that's what I do with them. Also having the eldest having continence issues an the advice I got was filling the bladder regularly being preferable to little and often to build the bladder muscles. I think I need to remember the four year old doesn't have these issues so I don't need to stress. I will try giving him a water bottle at home and see what happens x

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4 year olds Families
Nocutenamesleft · 05/03/2023 14:56

How dark is his urine? This will show you how hard his kidneys are working?

constipated? Urine infections?

that’s when we saw a nephrologist and he said whatever it takes. Make sure she drinks. Once she got older though she was able to understand the damage.

CatOnTheChair · 05/03/2023 14:57

DS2 and I are both bad at drinking.
I basically have a pint at breakfast, lunch and dinner. And unless I have alcohol in the evening, that's pretty much it.
DS2, now 11, is similar, although also often has a drink after excerise.
We ended up with a carton of fruit juice in his packed lunch as the only way to get home to drink between breakfast and getting home from school (it was often 45C+ so he needed to drink and there wasn't an issue with lunchbox police).

I dislike water that has sat about - it needs to be fairly fresh from the tap for me. Water that has sat in a bottle really isn't pleasant, imo. Milk definitely counts as fluids tho.

Hubblebubble · 05/03/2023 14:58

Home made ice lollies?

Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 14:58

Nocutenamesleft · 05/03/2023 14:56

How dark is his urine? This will show you how hard his kidneys are working?

constipated? Urine infections?

that’s when we saw a nephrologist and he said whatever it takes. Make sure she drinks. Once she got older though she was able to understand the damage.

He doesn't wee that often, can hold it for ages but when he does go it's pale yellow. Doesn't have constipation and has never had a urine infection.

OP posts:
Nocutenamesleft · 05/03/2023 14:58

Plenanna · 05/03/2023 14:26

If he’s thirsty he’ll drink, if he’s not he won’t. A better question is why are you obsessing over a healthy child’s fluid intake? Do you often have health anxiety or similar obsessions?

That’s not quite true

i know a little girl who wouldn’t drink. She was hospitalised many times over it. It does and can happen and it’s not as rare as you think.

JaninaDuszejko · 05/03/2023 14:59

Another vote for jelly, good snack to take to school or have as pudding. But if his pee is straw coloured then he's probably getting enough water in his diet.

Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 15:01

CatOnTheChair · 05/03/2023 14:57

DS2 and I are both bad at drinking.
I basically have a pint at breakfast, lunch and dinner. And unless I have alcohol in the evening, that's pretty much it.
DS2, now 11, is similar, although also often has a drink after excerise.
We ended up with a carton of fruit juice in his packed lunch as the only way to get home to drink between breakfast and getting home from school (it was often 45C+ so he needed to drink and there wasn't an issue with lunchbox police).

I dislike water that has sat about - it needs to be fairly fresh from the tap for me. Water that has sat in a bottle really isn't pleasant, imo. Milk definitely counts as fluids tho.

Tbh if I'd of known when I started the thread that milk counts I'd of been much less concerned. I just took this ladies word for it. Who said milks fine to have but it doesn't count towards total water intake. Since the thread I've googled that and can't find anything reliable online backing it up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 15:03

Towards total fluid intake my above post should say

OP posts:
daisypond · 05/03/2023 15:07

I thought general guidance was not to drink with a meal. Before or after (quite a long time after) is fine.

Tontostitis · 05/03/2023 15:13

Sounds like enough fluid to me and also like every child born before 2015.

Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 15:15

daisypond · 05/03/2023 15:07

I thought general guidance was not to drink with a meal. Before or after (quite a long time after) is fine.

Do you mean what I was saying about the bladder? I was referring to drinking a full drink then waiting a while then another full drink etc rather than constantly sipping. I didn't mean it made a difference if it was with a meal or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 15:15

Tontostitis · 05/03/2023 15:13

Sounds like enough fluid to me and also like every child born before 2015.

What happened in 2015?

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 05/03/2023 15:16

I have adult sons now but one of mine was like this
Others may not agree with this but I used to put a splash of high juice squash in to encourage him
All fluid counts in my opinion( I drink sugar free vimto myself!)
None of mine have had a filling, nor have a sweet tooth as adults( unlike me!)

percypercypercy · 05/03/2023 15:25

Sorry I don't quite understand the first bit.

It was a typo for meal

He has access to a drink all day at preschool (his water bottle). At home no I've never just left bottles of water around for the kids and have always just given a drink with each meal and snack and a water bottle to take up to bed with them. I didn't think that was unusual? I don't think they would drink from a bottle that was just out for them all day.

My kids always had access to a drink, maybe that's unusual then but I just thought it was normal. As adults we can get a drink whenever we want so why not the same for children?

Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 15:30

percypercypercy · 05/03/2023 15:25

Sorry I don't quite understand the first bit.

It was a typo for meal

He has access to a drink all day at preschool (his water bottle). At home no I've never just left bottles of water around for the kids and have always just given a drink with each meal and snack and a water bottle to take up to bed with them. I didn't think that was unusual? I don't think they would drink from a bottle that was just out for them all day.

My kids always had access to a drink, maybe that's unusual then but I just thought it was normal. As adults we can get a drink whenever we want so why not the same for children?

Probably both ways are normal! I guess though that a child having three meals and two snacks a day and waking later and going to bed earlier than an adult never goes that long between having a drink offered. I.e. 8am, 10am 12:30, 3, 5 and bed at half 7 with water bottle. I never felt I was withholding fluids from them. I am going to try the other way though and see if it results in him drinking more. Obviously if they ever ask for a drink they get it, I don't tell them they have to wait for lunch or anything.

OP posts:
daisypond · 05/03/2023 15:40

Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 15:15

Do you mean what I was saying about the bladder? I was referring to drinking a full drink then waiting a while then another full drink etc rather than constantly sipping. I didn't mean it made a difference if it was with a meal or not.

Show quote history

No, you said he gets water or juice with his meal at lunchtime, and then you said he gets water with his tea -and what’s worse, you don’t give him dessert unless he finishes his water!

In general, it’s not good to have drinks with your meal. Small amounts are fine. But drinks should be outside of mealtimes, generally.

Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 16:03

daisypond · 05/03/2023 15:40

No, you said he gets water or juice with his meal at lunchtime, and then you said he gets water with his tea -and what’s worse, you don’t give him dessert unless he finishes his water!

In general, it’s not good to have drinks with your meal. Small amounts are fine. But drinks should be outside of mealtimes, generally.

Show quote history

I'm sure it's perfectly normal to drink with your meals. I've always been given a drink with a meal as a kid and continued to do so as an adult. Whenever I've been for tea at someone else's house I've always been offered a drink to go with my tea. People do it when they go to a restaurant. I don't understand why you think this is so so abnormal?

OP posts:
Original poster
Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 16:06

Also the lunchtime drink with a meal is given by school.

OP posts:
CatOnTheChair · 05/03/2023 16:13

Daisy obviously subscribes to the same drinking preferences as my PiL. No drinks on the table with food. I hate it. I don't like eating without a drink. And - as per my message earlier- wouldn't drink anything if I didn't have the prompt of "meal time= have a drink".
Try it both ways. See which is better for your child.

daisypond · 05/03/2023 16:17

Violet1988 · 05/03/2023 16:03

I'm sure it's perfectly normal to drink with your meals. I've always been given a drink with a meal as a kid and continued to do so as an adult. Whenever I've been for tea at someone else's house I've always been offered a drink to go with my tea. People do it when they go to a restaurant. I don't understand why you think this is so so abnormal?

Show quote history

It’s not abnormal, more’s the pity. Drinking too much with your meal isn’t very good for your digestion. A small glass is OK. You “should” drink half an hour before or an hour afterwards. Also, your child won’t need much water when they’re eating, as most of your liquid comes from food itself -so it’s not surprising he doesn’t want to drink. And he’ll be too full with food. Where’s the water meant to fit in his stomach?

Carouselfish · 05/03/2023 16:24

Get a bottle that's see through with either a picture or markers on, so you can say, I want you to drink down to this point by home time. Could use a reward if he does. I did this, also wrote Drink! On her hand a few times to remind her!

ODFOx · 05/03/2023 16:40

A sugar free pot of jelly is 150ml of water.

When I was a child we hardly ever drank water: sometimes from a hose when we were out and about but at home it was always tea or squash. At school we had a small water with lunch and no other drinks all day.

If he isn't thirsty and he isn't dehydrated then I wouldn't push him too much, just offer juicy things when you can.

There are whole generations of us who didn't own a water bottle.