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Tips for being stuck in a job you no longer enjoy

19 replies

Swimminpoo · 04/03/2023 11:42

Anyone in the same boat and have any advice?

OP posts:
Cherry35 · 04/03/2023 11:45

Is there any reason why you can't change jobs?

Swimminpoo · 04/03/2023 11:48

I work for the NHS as a nurse, I really don't want to leave the NHS, but jobs at my level don't really come up as part time. I can't work full time due to young dc, and there seems to be zero flexibility despite advertising flexible working etc. I'm just feeling completely trapped, and having a pity party.

OP posts:
Cherry35 · 04/03/2023 11:54

Is there a way that you could transfer within NHS? Maybe you could enjoy more working in a different area? A hopefully less busy area.

Swimminpoo · 04/03/2023 12:11

@Cherry35 I have tried. If I see an interesting job I speak to the recruiter but get told every time that they really need a full timer. I don't even get to interveiw unfortunately, despite having the relevant skills etc. It's just so inflexible.

OP posts:
Cherry35 · 04/03/2023 12:41

Ohh so sorry you have to stay at a job you don't enjoy anymore. Hope your kids start school soon.

I'm also at a job I don't enjoy anymore but have to stay due to some medical treatment. I'd struggle to pass probation with these sick leaves.

I just keep going with the hope that the day will come when I can finally change jobs. Been there 6 years but wanted to leave from 3 years ago.

Swimminpoo · 04/03/2023 16:40

@Cherry35 sorry that you're stuck as well, it's rubbish isn't it? Perhaps we'll win the lottery 😀

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 04/03/2023 16:46

Can you look at job sharing - either in your existing role or a new one? I get so many requests from staff looking to go p/t and it’s not sustainable - I just lose the hours, whereas job share allows me to keep them. Or go for term time working or some other pattern? Or go onto the bank?

Alternatively, can you look at moving out of nursing and into eg research or public health/health improvement? There tends to be more p/t roles there, esp in the latter. You might need to drop a band but it would allow you to build up experience.

Cherry35 · 05/03/2023 03:19

@Swimminpoo hahaha, I know. This year I've been seriously praying about winning the lottery or at least the treatment to be successful so I can be free to look for another job. Best wishes!

endofthelinefinally · 05/03/2023 03:30

Have a look at moving into gp. At least it is reasonable hours for child care. Shifts are a nightmare.

Lemondrizzle20 · 05/03/2023 03:58

With you completely, the NHS isn't always as flexible or family friendly as it likes to pretend, and one of the issues if you go out to another sector and come back in now is that you effectively forfeit any rights to annual increments for several years should you return or get a new job at a higher band. I still cannot believe the unions accepted it, they really were asleep at the wheel on that one though the penny is only starting to drop now with some of my colleagues as of course there was that little matter of the pandemic....

In addition there is no guarantee that any previous experience will be taken into account with regards to a starting salary, even the RCN states not to assume you'd be put on an equivalent pay point if you change Trusts... Can't imagine why there are so many recruitment and retention issues apart from the obvious reasons after COVID....

I'm presuming you're also limited geographically, and it sounds like you're trying for research nurse, information officer, trainer, anything that might suit. Back in the day you might have been able to get a decent secondment with the forerunners of Health Education England and the like, but they're like hen's teeth now and will be for some time now due to yet another merger/reorganisation/well paid revolving door redundancy scheme before the same people are probably employed again a few weeks later...

Sorry, that was a bit of a ramble. To answer your question about coping, though, I did actually calculate recently how many days I have left where I actually have to go to work until I can retire (I'm not that old but I am very jaded and I'm not even frontline), and then I worked out how many days that is per year. I'm contemplating designing a special calendar for it...I have been more senior previously but the extra pay isn't worth the hassle and the sucking up. I do have hobbies that I really enjoy and I'm now concentrating on building that up as an income stream and focus, as it's something I can and will continue into retirement. And when particularly drivelly self indulgent ego driven nonsense issues forth from certain seniors or out of touch ministers I cope by imagining it as a Jo Brand comedy sketch. Complete with facial expressions.

I also remind myself regularly that I work to live, not live to work, enjoy nature and my family, and am contemplating getting involved with some of the extra curricular groups where I work, for instance sustainability, to help motivate myself to get up in the morning. Also, small treats on work days help - not necessarily edible. 🙂

Dropdout · 05/03/2023 04:41

It depends on if you are on a higher band, looking for a particular kind of role or fixed hours/days I suppose, but In my experience at an organisational level all nhs organisations are desperate to hire registered nurses, individual wards might not want the hassle of part timers but if you go to a recruitment day/event or straight to HR via a web page contact instead of looking at individual roles I think they would try to find somewhere to place you. Good luck.

Emptycrackedcup · 05/03/2023 04:45

When I've been in that situation I have my CV updated and I have job sites emailing me roles so I'm passively looking and if the right thing comes up I'm ready. I find that helps as you have an escape plan. In the meantime I do all I can in my current role to make it more enjoyable, which has usually meant taking on extra projects that interest me that aren't part of my job so I'm spending sometime on things I'm interested in or that will help in my professional development. If theres a certain person buggung me, I will try to minimise contact with them. One job that I utterly hated, I just did the required hours and started really early so I could finish early, that was depressing and I only lasted a few months before I had to leave.

Missingthegore · 05/03/2023 04:51

Are you looking for direct patient care or other jobs?
Off the top of my head
Bed allocation
Quality improvement
OHS
Informatics
Placement support for students
Recruitment / nursing workforce
Policy and procedure
Outpatients
Preadmissions nurse
Day of surgery admissions
Elective surgery planning

Battlecat98 · 05/03/2023 05:46

This is me now too. Just heading in to work. I used to love my job but it's so hard now. The pressure is relentless. I found a job recently and applied but withdrew last minute as it was a band down and less hours. I just can't afford the loss but I was pretty desperate.
I have been lucky enough to secure some counselling via a charity and feel somewhat better. I allowed work to seep into every aspect of my life. I didn't take my breaks, was checking emails etc out of hours as was the unwritten expectation.
I now can see my job more clearly, the managers really do not care, I could leave and my post would be filled, anyway, I enjoy working with my patients and I focus on that. I provide the best care possible but have had to accept limitations. I take my breaks and just keep work separate now.
I have updated my CV and keep my eye out.
The NHS is not flexible or family friendly and the pension is not enough to keep me anymore.
Good luck I know how it feels.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 05/03/2023 06:17

I’m in school admin. I detest my job at the minute and feel stuck. I like that it’s term time and plus 12 days, but hate that it’s become a thankless task. Don’t like my new boss. Found myself getting angry and my resting bitch face is showing as my immediate manager has noticed 😳
I would look for another job, but how I’d skip off to an interview during the week when they’re already being a bastard about me going to a GP appointment for my asthma. Bloody horrible place to work.

StarsSand · 05/03/2023 06:22

I think having a hobby or interest outside of work helps. Work is just a means to an end and you make your real life happen outside of it.

Only giving 100% during your hours, don't keep giving of yourself. save your energy and time for self care and finding the next job.

whatisforteamum · 05/03/2023 06:53

I came on to suggest a hobby or fun in your free time.Im currently trying to do this as I changed to a bit of a dull job for the much better shifts only to discover my colleagues don't like me.
Yes I get week ends and Easter ,mothers day and xmas now so I think learning new things and getting out will help

Swimminpoo · 05/03/2023 08:10

Thank you all for the replies, I definitely need to work more on hobbies so I'm not always either doing work or kids.

@Lemondrizzle20 you sound as fed up as me, commiserstions! I'm in a corporate quality role, top of a 7, fantastic annual leave etc due to time served. I got here due to a quirk in budgets, and now can't leave.....nothing suitable comes up where the manager is able or willing to think about job share or part time....even when dc are in school I'm not sure I could stomach full time! I dare not try private sector, as you say, too much to lose.
Thank you @Missingthegore I did wonder about a side step into IT doing something straddling both camps, but again they seem to be reluctant to flex around hours at all.
@Battlecat98 hope your shift is going well today.

OP posts:
Missingthegore · 05/03/2023 10:31

@swimminpoo so sorry to hear the NHS is so inflexible
64hrs is the norm at my hospital, plenty of people working less and working dual roles. Is emigration an option? We are bending over backwards here in Australia to accommodate the needs of staff so they stay working in the system.

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