How can I shake up my life a bit?

[PurpleSky300]

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut and I need to make some changes.
I'm 30, single, bought a house that I'm not thrilled with, been in the same job a long time, same friends for 10 years, etc. I'm not unhappy but I'm God damn bored and I feel like I'm just plodding through life without growing at all - yet I can't make a decision to save my life!

Can't decide where I want to live - Leeds is closer to home and cheaper but I love Manchester too. Can't decide which job I want - I've applied for tons of jobs in a similar pay bracket and been offered interviews for two. I don't know if I want to have children etc and am coming to an age where that questions seems to pop up a lot in the OLD world.

Whenever an idea pops into my mind, something else says "Yeah but what if it goes wrong / what if you can't afford it / what if you're lonely" etc so I end up doing nothing and then feeling like life is just passing me by. How do I kick myself up the bum a bit?

Life coach

Well, the two interviews might shake things up a bit! When are they?

1 - what is the scariest thing you always wanted to do but never had the courage?

2 - if you could choose to be anything (as a profession) and had no fear of failure or judgment, what would that be?

3 - this time next year, if you look back to today, what changes did you do that improved your life and made you feel happier and proud of yourself?

For 1 and 2 - find versions of it that you can start easily and bring you fun and fulfilment - you can do as hobbies - for example:

1 - climbing a Mountain? you can start by wall climbing instead

2 - being a singer? take singing lessons, join a choir, go to karaoke or simply sing at home, record yourself for fun

For 3 you just have to go for the changes even if baby steps are needed - apply for jobs out of your comfort zone, higher pay, a different career where you can sue your skills and experience / make new friends, move houses...

Don't fear failure, fear creating this thread again this time next year.

We can always learn from failure - no failure, no growth

Watching with interest as this is me

I'd love this but the cost!

Forget the reasons to do x or y - ask yourself what you WANT to do. You only get one life. There is good and bad with everything so at least enjoy the bits of it you can

Over a gloomy drink one evening a few years ago, a friend who was probably fed up of me being gloomy challenged me to Year of Yes - I had to spend a year saying yes to any suggestion of something to do: including joining Meet Up and committing to go along to the first activity which came up as suggested for me at least twice a week.


It was a fucking ball of a year! I did stuff I never thought I could possibly enjoy doing, and some of it I indeed didn't enjoy enough to do it again - but my motto was I was either going to get a great experience out of it, or a great story to tell. And that's exactly what I got - as well as several great new friends and dozens of new acquaintances. And definitely got me out of a rut.

And whilst that above doesn’t help with the deciding where to live and whether to change jobs, it may well do enough for your mood, sense of purpose and feeling more like yourself again, that you’re in a position to make clearer headed and positive choices about the big stuff.

This is great! I also tried this, maybe not as devotedly as you, after a break up in my 20's. I just tried to make my default answer "yes" unless it was something I really didn't want to do.

I went on holidays I wouldn't have otherwise, parties, did things with friends I'd usually say no to. It definitely pushed me to do things, sometimes out of my comfort zone but all good overall,
I'd definitely recommend it.

Or there's that book I haven't read but hear recommended a lot....

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway: How to Turn Your Fear and Indecision into Confidence and Action by Susan Jeffers (4-Jan-2007) Paperback amzn.eu/d/bfs4Tqs

@MopeyDopey can I send you a PM?