I need a bit of advice/perspective I think. At the end of 2021 I got made redundant from my job. It's no exaggeration to say the way it was handled made the whole experience absolutely horrendous and totally knocked my confidence in my ability to do my job. I'm a single parent and was about to complete on a house so the whole process was extremely stressful.
Luckily I managed to get a new role fairly quickly. It wasn't the perfect job and I knew it would be pushing me skills wise but I thought I'd learn about a new area of my work and I needed the job.
It's been so stressful though. I've been thrown in at the deep end with no support and feel like I've spent the last year just keeping afloat but failing. I'm constantly being blindsided by stuff. I don't know how much of it is me though and how much is just bad management. I'll be in meetings with our head of department and get asked about something completely out of nowhere and be expected to have all the info there and then. Then I effectively get told off in front of everyone for not knowing. It's stuff that I can find and if I'd known that's what was wanted could have prepared but I feel like I'm expected to read minds in advance.
The company as a whole is very reactive rather than strategic and so is constantly changing what it wants. I think that's fine to a degree but when I start planning stuff there's no guarantee that it'll be right because something will change.
I just feel worn down and constantly stressed but I don't know if it's this job, my entire industry or if it's just because I'm 46, trying to deal with a recently diagnosed PDA 14 year old and I've had enough. I've got no confidence in myself to do my role any longer but I feel paralysed at the thought of going through the recruitment process again so soon.
Has anyone else been in this situation and what did you do? I can't even go off sick with stress to try and give myself some breathing space because I won't get sick pay and I'm already worried that they'll just get rid of my role and I'll have no job again.