Your best accidental ninja moment

[ImprobablePuffin]

I was just in the shower, opaque curtain closed. Finished my bottle of face wash so tossed it backwards over the shower rail. Finished shower, got out and saw I had ninja'd the tube straight into the bin. Made me feel very clever 😂 Small wins and all that.

Also many years ago someone launched a set of keys across the restaurant at me where I was working. I wasn't looking and put a hand up to brush my hair back and caught the keys on my ring finger like it was some socially distanced proposal.

Have you had a ninja moment you'd care to share this chilly Friday?

i was sharing a table at a works drink with my boss at the time and he knocked a bottle of wine off the table my hand shot out from where I was sitting and I caught it and then calmly put it back on the table. Everyone’s mouths dropped open and he said ‘how the hell did you do that?’ I have no idea how it happened.

on another occasion there was oil on the road and I veered off the road went as a left turn but the car didn’t turn but went straight on down a tiny track. I had a bloody heart attack and suddenly the track got a bit wider and then linked up as it was off slightly to the left to the other original road it was bizarre - three cars came down the track and by the time we got back on the original road the police were out and had shut the road!

After several beers at an afternoon barbecue party, a friend of mine decided it would be a lark to drag his wicker garden chair up on to the shallow-sloping corrugated roof that jutted out over his back porch, and then sit in it. He lost his balance, and he and the chair slid off, dropped about 8 feet onto the concrete porch, bounced, flipped and fell into the garden about 4 feet below that - where he landed sitting in the chair. You couldn't make it up. (I really didn't make it up!)

I was buying a takeaway coffee on a cold day. I hadn't noticed but it had drizzled while I was inside and the rain had frozen into a smooth sheet of ice on the ground. I walked outside and slipped straight onto my arse, but I didn't spill so much as a drop of coffee (really hurt my arse though).

When I was a kid, bouncing on the end of my bed. My younger brother came barging into my room at the same time as I launched myself off the bed, pinning him to the ground with my feet.

I once did a matrix-style move to dodge a flying mp3 player that a patient threw at my head. By that point though I'd had so much practice at evading projectiles it didn't even cause me to interrupt my sentence.

I later used my catlike reflexes to leap across the room and stop the toddler pulling a 50" TV down on his head, while DH just froze from a foot away.

I don't miss much about that job, but I was a lot thinner back then due to all the exercise 😁

I was asleep in bed next to now-ExH. I dreamed there was a spider on the pillow next to me, woke up with a start, and in one seamless motion leaped out of bed and straight over ExH, landing on the floor crouched like a cat. I have never been so athletic before or since.

Not quite ninja, but another "stairs" one. Going out with my 2 year old Grandson - he's sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. I lost my footing at the top of the stairs - came down like an Olympic diver/stunt-woman. Somehow managed not to land on my Grandson. Broke ribs.

Ah I love these so much. Although I don't love that some of them sound quite painful!!

I expected this thread to be about ninja air fryer cock ups that ended up great! Loving the intended content though, chuckling no end here but unfortunately I've nothing remotely ninja-esque of my own to add!

They were an inside concrete staircase with some kind of coating, my knees were fine, honestly, it was possibly one of the only times I've been cool in my life!

We used to run a B&B and one day one of our cats was about to leap on the table but somehow I managed to catch him in mid air.

I sometimes have these Ninja/Matrix everything goes into slow motion. The earliest was me watching a cricket ball coming at me in the playground and snatching it out of the air. No-one could believe that chonky old me could do it.

The last one was when I was in the theatre (do am-dram). I was standing in the auditorium and something pinged off the stage at high speed. I can't remember what it was. It shot straight towards me and I was watching it fly towards me for what seemed ages.

As it got to within a foot of me, it was like my brain said rather calmly, "knees, this would be a useful time to collapse." So they did and whatever it was missed. My DP thought it had hit me and nearly had twins till I got up.

Do any of you fellow ninjas get the red mist descending in rage incidents? I am succeptible to some moderate road rage and when it appears it's similar, it literally is like a red mist descending and is completely automatic and uncontrollable. Doesn't happen often thankfully but I wonder if the 2 things are related. Both are almost like an out of body experience for me or seem to be happening to someone else.

I once batted a bee out of my classroom window with my bare hands. Could not deal with a bee in the classroom that day! No thank you.

This is the funniest thread ever. I'm reading it in a hotel breakfast dining room and crying with laughter.

Putting something away in the cupboard with bag in my other hand. Knocked a different item out of the cupboard and in my attempts to catch it deflected it straight into the bag.

Dd2 was carrying a stack of cardboard for the recycling bin. She slid on the wooden floor, landed on her back but the pile of cardboard was still in her hands held up in the air. No idea how she did it but the box and the cardboard cup were still upright on top of the pile of flat cardboard!

Oh am I once punched a wasp in the face. Felt awful about that one

Yes, totally. I had a row with a woman in Aldi once. Totally my fault, I was in the wrong. It was like I was watching it on telly, thinking "what on earth are you doing?"