To not want to give this lift

[Bluearc77]

My elderly neighbour has recently had a cancer diagnosis. Her DD lives an hour away. Her treatment hospital is an hour in the opposite direction so it would mean a long day of travel for the DD and she works full time

I work part time however, I'm also disabled and my condition is pretty poor at the moment. My days off are precious 'reset' days which allow me to manage my other work days, the DC, the home etc.

My neighbour has asked for a life to her first treatment appointment. This will be 2 hours of driving for me plus a lot of waiting around. So far it's just for 1 appointment but I feel that I'm going to end up having to do more if I agree.

My neighbour doesn't know about my disability and I don't want her to know either.

I dont know how to get out of it without looking like a complete cow. She has no other local family or friends to ask.

Could she not arrange hospital transport?

I've had a quick look and I don't think she'd qualify.

I think your elderley neighbour might be entitled to hospital transport if she had no way of getting to her appointment.I have an elderly neighbour who regularly has hospital transport for her appointments.Perhaps you could ask her daughter to arrange this for her.I know it’s difficult but if you do it once it may become regular.

just say no you can't do it, that is all you need to say

Why would she not qualify for hospital transport? That is odd. most people on cancer treatment qualify

but even if she doesn't this is simply not your problem
she has other options

She needs to get a taxi if she can't get hospital transport. Tbh hospital transport isn't 100% reliable for getting to appointments on time.
You just tell her that unfortunately you can't due to your family commitment.
Her dd will have to take a day off work.

Don't feel bad op. Does her dd feel bad she can't and it's her dm!

This seems like a very big favour to ask a neighbour.
I wouldn’t like to do it given your circumstances.
I hope you find a solution that suits you both.

Don't feel bad at all OP, if you're worried just say "oh I'm so sorry, I can't that day!". No explanation needed.
Neighbour care also do hospital lifts so you could put her in touch with that.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the replies. I'll put my big girl pants on and say no.

most hospitals are well served by public transport.

How would you feel about picking her up from the bus stop or similar if she felt rough on the way home?

Cancer diagnosis means hospital is always given round here.

'I'm sorry I'm not able to help, give hospital transport a ring and see if they can help'

Also look at community transport in your area, they may be able to help and will be cheaper than a taxi and much more supportive. The reality is that non emergency transport is on its knees and so many people now do not qualify. It can also mean a long day as they can pick up multiple people who have appointments at different times. She must ring them though to make sure as if she has no other options they should try and help her.

I'm also going to suggest she try hospital transport. There may also be volunteers who run some hospital transport - there is at my local hospital. When I was having cancer treatment (and I'm not elderly) they phoned me and offered transport, even though the hospitals are well served by buses and I don't live that far away.

Cancer patients always qualify for hospital transport for treatment days