Nature or nurture?

[StellaGibson2022]

I’m a regular over on AIBU but don’t have an AIBU for this…

Without speculation how does the nature/nurture theory relate to Marten and Gordon charge of gross negligence manslaughter?

two people from [unconfirmed] very different backgrounds have been charged but how it has been played out from the limited information shared is that she had the means to fund living off grid but he was a sex offender.

What doesn’t sit right with me is that the presumption seems to be the off grid living was so the baby was not removed by social services.

I just can’t square how a mother with the means to support herself could end up in this position.

Surely as a mother children come first, especially as she had the means to do this?

please enlighten me - my life lived knowledge is very much women being stuck because they don’t have the financial agency but this doesn’t seem to be the case.

I am not asking for the theories around this specific case but how is a woman with financial agency able to keep putting a man first rather than her children?

Im so sorry if this offends as that is not my intention and I mean this sincerely

I don't know anything about them. But why do women make decisions that are bad for them and their children?

Drugs, mental health problems, abusive partner, or being a shit. Or a combination of these.

Having wealth behind you doesn't guarantee that life is easy.

Sadly it’s not uncommon for both men and women to put their partner before their children.

Some people are just easily manipulated.

Does privilege and wealth make your life easier? Yes.
Does it stop you from being stupid, selfish, an asshole, drug addicted or whatever else? No. Does it mean you're less likely to suffer the consequences of these attributes? Yes.

Would people be questioning it so much if she were a drug addict from a very deprived background? No. There wouldn't be so many oh she's got bad mental health, easily manipulated type comments.

Some people are just narcissistic. She didn't even call authorities so her baby could have a proper funeral, just left them in the woods. Did she even bury the baby or just leave them to be eaten by foxes or whatever else? Then kept running to protect herself. This was never about what was best for the baby. If it were, she would have moved internationally when pregnant, or left him - it was easier for her than many others and that makes it worse. They could have afforded proper gear to ensure baby was warm and safe.

It seems to me that her fear of her partner took over any of her other priorities.

What's the evidence she was fearful of him? Genuine question not being snarky

@catinboooots there isn't, I'm just looking at the patterns of behaviour. Given his previous convictions, her distancing herself, the going on the run, chaotic lifestyle. If it were just her mental illness then wouldn't he had got some help for her?

Addiction isn’t a mental illness. You decide to smoke crack, you can’t choose a bipolar pipe instead. You have to try quite hard to be a heroin addict. Meth addiction is pretty quick.

You lose your addiction through choice too - tell that to a schizophrenic. The big exception is artificial opiates - OxyContin damages the brain very fast so addiction is pretty much guaranteed.

Addicts often end up brain damaged - that’s usually incurable and, like other brain injuries, may not be not great news for other people.

Kayley’s DF was a skunk user. The frontal lobes - personality, the human bit - aren’t in good shape. He wasn’t and said he was ‘just lazy’. True. RIP, poor girl.

I would think fear of LOSING the partner rather than being afraid of him. Sounds like a very toxic codependency situation. I am fascinated by their dynamic tbh