I want to chat to people who have experience in dementia

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I did a search on mumsnet for dementia and other peoples experiences issues like a parent making tea with cold water and becoming disorganised about bills and other issues like forgetfulness and repeating the same story over and over.

I think my might have something but I don't know. It's not like the stuff I did a search about.

Last winter in 2021, I noticed a period where she wasn't talking to me. There was no conversation whatsoever from her. There was even a day where she went for a walk, putting on her jacket and left the house without saying goodbye. It wasn't the first time she was like that. I live at home but I am not a bad person. I am not critical or sarcastic to her. I help with jobs and bills and I kept us both safe during the pandemic and I did all of the grocery shopping. Yet there she was not talking to me. I found it so bizarre and it was at that point when I began to wonder if she was going senile. There were other things too. Since 2019, she had episodes of anger that never made any sense. Like we needed a plumber one time and she got me to research and get recommendation for a plumber. I got the name and number for one. Then I discussed with her about him and she gave me the go ahead to book him. When he was finished with the work my mother decided she wasn't happy with the work and she had an ager for me as if it was all my fault and she raged to me not to book him again as if I did it without consulting with her first. It was awful.
There's a lot of stuff that needs repairing now and also replacing and I am not able to help her with booking a worker or replacing the old cooker. She has a lot of anger issues and also anger throughout 2020. A lot of time it made no sense. One day I took a clean tea towel to wipe some clean dishes and she raged at me at that too.

Then there seems to be some OCD happening with her too. She's paranoid about germs and high temperatures in the washing machine. She wasn't always like that. It's just a new thing.

Then I found that she had items of my clothing as if they are hers.

Her memory seems to be reasonably well. She seems to be good at doing calculations. She likes to read magazines and she continues to read. She likes to go walking. She keeps a diary too and I had a quick look at some of the pages but I didn't read it and she continues to write in it.

So she seems to be OK sometimes and then other times she seems to be a bit odd and angry.

Things are just a little bit off with her here and there but it doesn't seem as if its like a typical forgetfulness or dementia.

Has anyone else experienced similar? I would love to take her out of routine and see what happens.

There is a dementia board on MN www.mumsnet.com/talk/dementia you should ask your question there, maybe reformulating title.

"There's a lot of stuff that needs repairing now and also replacing and I am not able to help her with booking a worker or replacing the old cooker"

Why can't you help? Have you been told not to?

How old is your mum?

How old is your mum ? Has she ever suffered with depression to your knowledge ?

There are lots of different types of dementia, some affect memory more than others (in the beginning). One type can affect personality and behaviour quite substantially and more so than memory (again, in the beginning) eg Frontotemporal dementia.
I would consider contacting her GP to see if they can assess.

Dementia shows in hundreds of different ways. Most forms of dementia cannot be helped with drugs but there are a couple that can so early assessment is something you want to try for. GP is your first port of call. Many cases are not diagnosed until very late in the disease/condition because random odd behaviours are shrugged off and the person suffering can often mask well for quite some time.

Try not to get stressed by negative behaviours towards you or them not remembering simple stuff that you know they should. If you were to see an MRI scan of a brain effected by dementia there are whole pieces of brain missing in the later stages. It's just gone. Holes where brain matter used to be. (Think a once solid, squidgy mass is now a bath loofah full of large holes).

If the family member is suffering from dementia then try not to argue or correct them if you achieve little by being right. It can cause them anger and stress and whilst they may (and probably will) forget what occurred, they will often remember the feeling they had at the time so if you pissed them off, they may associate the feeling of anger with you but not know why. That can be hard to break. It's like a sense memory, where you smell something and it makes you happy but you can't remember why.