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Original poster

Will I regret downsizing so much?

78 replies

SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 07:40

I have a large 4 bed detached house with a big garden. I've never loved it but it gave us lots of space when DC were young, which was a particularly godsend during lockdown when we had 3 adults wfh and one on furlough! I find the responsibility of owning and mainyaining a large home quite stressful. There's always something that needs doing and finding tradesmen etc is hard work!

Tbh I've often longed for a small but perfectly formed home just for me without all the people getting on my nerves. Be careful what you wish for because in the last 2 years I've gone from a houseful to just me. Last DC moves out on Monday.

I've seen a very expensive new build bungalow. It's about a mile from here but also a whole other world. Still on bus links and close ish to amenities but also quite rural, much nicer area and spot.

It will cost about the same as my house and is basically one large room with kitchen, living room, dining, bifold doors to a small but beautifully done garden with large patio, plus a nice bathroom and 2 good double bedrooms. Driveway for 2 cars but no garage.

It seems perfect for me, but I'm going to have to get rid of so much stuff, leave the place where DC grew up (and DH died). Also not much space if GC come along...

OP posts:
pippinsleftleg · 02/03/2023 07:42

It sounds lovely but why does it cost the same as your house?

is there an option that will let you downsize and release some equity?

HaggisBurger · 02/03/2023 07:42

I’d go for it!!! Decluttering now is a gift to your adult children much further down the line.

I get it’s hard to say goodbye to the home you shared with your DH. I’m sorry for your loss

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/03/2023 07:43

Downsizing - yes, big fan!!!

But I'm of the opinion that it should release some cash for you to enjoy in the process. No way would I downsize yet not have any funds release from it.

Original poster
SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 07:45

pippinsleftleg · 02/03/2023 07:42

It sounds lovely but why does it cost the same as your house?

is there an option that will let you downsize and release some equity?

Bungalows are in short supply round here and therefore expensive, plus we bought in a cheaper area to get the space.

I don't particularly want a bungalow, but the only way to downsize and release equity would be to move to something terraced in a not nice area and I don't want to go back to that. I also don't need to release equity, its probably better off staying invested.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 07:46

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/03/2023 07:43

Downsizing - yes, big fan!!!

But I'm of the opinion that it should release some cash for you to enjoy in the process. No way would I downsize yet not have any funds release from it.

It's quality not quantity and I don't need the cash.

OP posts:
Gloschick · 02/03/2023 07:47

I would get something that wasn't so open plan. You end up not being able to put the maching

Gloschick · 02/03/2023 07:49

Sorry, posted too soon. You can't put washing machine on when you want to watch tv, and you can't put a spare bed up in the lounge for visitors.

pilates · 02/03/2023 07:52

If you don’t need the cash then yes I would. Start decluttering now.

PaulaPaola · 02/03/2023 07:52

You may not get cash from downsizing but it sounds like you'll slash your monthly overheads in home maintenance and bills.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 02/03/2023 07:53

Sounds wonderful. Think of how much time you will gain.

As for grandchildren - you can be creative with this (if it happens - you can’t count on that one). Unless you kids are particularly large a small double works well for an occasional bed, which frees up space for a travel cot. Then kids love sleeping in temporary floor beds. Then bunk beds with a double on the bottom could be an option.

For big events, one GC are involved (Christmas etc…) you might end up going to theirs more anyway.

My mum is 78 (probably way older than you) but is now seriously struggling with her garden, house maintaince and her stairs (not suitable for a stair lift). She might have to move and it finding it very stressful. Moving into something that you can live in a long time, make yours yours and enjoy, will not only make your life easier now but also in the long run.

Large open plan spaces make being in the house on your own feel less lonely as well. As you are not walking into dark empty rooms.

Fill the new house with joy and love and the best of your precious objects.

recklessgran · 02/03/2023 07:53

Op we downsized from a very large detached with land to a very small 3 bed semi 5 years ago. Same sort of thing - 5DD's all grown and flown and a very large garden/hot tub etc needing lots of attention to keep on top of. When I realised that I was cleaning more bathrooms than there were people living in the house we decided it was time to move on. Advantages are that what we have now is so much more manageable in terms of upkeep and bills and generally we do love our tiny home. There are disadvantages in that our entire family don't now fit in our house! We get round it by going out for Christmas dinner say and twice a year we take the whole family away for a weekend - summer beach weekend, December Christmas activities themed weekend. It's tricky, not ideal as DD's find it hard that the big family get togethers are harder now due to lack of space but for us it's the best thing we ever did. Go for it OP - I don't think you'll regret it but be prepared to get rid of a lot more stuff than you think you need to!!

Twizbe · 02/03/2023 07:56

Sounds lovely, I'm all for downsizing 'early'. You've got more energy to do the declutter and packing.

A more manageable house that's smaller won't feel as small when it's just you.

As for GC, you have a spare room and children aren't huge lol.

Clusterfunk · 02/03/2023 07:57

Will one spare bedroom give you enough room for your visitor needs? If the answer is yes, or if you have other options (nearby cheap hotels for family willing to do that) then I’d do it.

Everyone has different needs and it sounds like you don’t need to free up equity, so you value the low maintenance house with beautiful garden over more bedrooms. I’d probably be the same to be honest, but many people would rather get “more for their money” as in more bedrooms and/or bathrooms.

I would just assess if the living space is big enough to entertain a few people, if that’s your thing. It depends how happy you are with people milling around. We had ten people in our fairly small 2 bed house in the living room for a few hours on New Year’s Day and everyone cheerfully sat on the extra chairs we moved in from the dining room.

Sorry for your loss too 💐

pilates · 02/03/2023 07:57

I’m not sure how old you are but don’t leave it too late. It’s very stressful moving.

reluctantbrit · 02/03/2023 07:57

My mum downsized and she never regretted it. Instead of a huge semi-detached with large garden, she now has a 2-bed-flat, ideal for her.

Yes, we can't stay with her but there are plenty of options around for us to get a room or a s/c appartment if we stay longer.

She decluttered a lot, always asked my sister and me if we wanted to keep items (she just started a second round 4 years after moving), she enjoys not having the work and worries with the large house anymore.

I love open plan, in a way regretted not getting it done, when we re-designed our downstairs area. But - I agree with the PP about washing machine and also drying, it would clutter everything all the time and the noise is annoying.

Unless it has a small utility room or an outbuilding, I wouldn't do it.

BlueBellIris · 02/03/2023 07:58

Go for it OP. Sounds a really sensible move. So many positives of downsizing now, too many people wait until they have to downsize (age and following an accident) and then it’s a real problem. Smaller property will also free up so much more of your time with maintenance so you can do other things. Also easier to leave if you want to do a bit of travelling.

GC you’ve got a spare room and people can stay at B and Bs/premier inns if they need to spend some time.

Lambchop1 · 02/03/2023 08:00

Do it! Change is part of life and this could be a fresh new beginning for you.

Caspianberg · 02/03/2023 08:01

Yes I would. Like you say, it will free up time to actually spend with your friends and family anyway with less maintenance.

It sounds like it has space for a nice garden, so you can always add a small garden shed to replace no garage for some things, and can have a nice garden table and chairs to host family outside in summer.

I think 1 spare bedroom is plenty, it’s more than most have. It will be fine for a couple to stay in or grandchildren in future, and a hotel or air b and b will have to be used if someone has loads of children

Lovestodrinkmilk · 02/03/2023 08:05

I've been considering a similar move, for similar reasons and decided against. I made a list of all the things we needed space to do, or to store. Even with ruthless decluttering, it turns out we need nearly all the space we have.

Also, what if, in the future, you wanted to move nearer to one or other of your children? Would this propsed bungalow hold its value well enough to allow you to move, or might you be stuck there? I wonder if there is a big enough resale market for this sort of new build, where the big attraction is that everything is brand new.

MiddleAgedLurker · 02/03/2023 08:09

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the OP's request.

GOODCAT · 02/03/2023 08:09

I would downsize. My mum did this after dad died and we were adults. However she moved to stay local and ended in a property that wasn't suitable for her health, she was young but needed a single storey really. She then moved to a massive rural chalet bungalow for the grandchildren. They visited but never stayed over night and it was under used. She spent most of her time in a nearby city. She then moved to a one bed flat in a nice area of that city which worked a lot better. She could just do with space for a mobility scooter and bike parking for local visitors.

For her she needed to do several moves, so it isn't the end of the world if this one isn't for you. However, I would say less, but nicer space in the right place is great especially when you are moving into this new phase of your life.

The only thing I wouldn't like about your new set up is not having a room separate from your kitchen to sit in. That said you can always time the washing machine to go on overnight or while you are out and if you can get your lighting such that the kitchen area can be unlit while you eat, you can ignore the pots and pans until after you have eaten.

PermanentTemporary · 02/03/2023 08:12

From the way you talk about it, I'd say do it. I'm just about to move from the house where dh died, and although it's sensitive, I'm feeling as if its going to be a really happy thing. Decluttering is fun and liberating.

My mum did regret moving to a retirement flat, but the move before that to a bungalow was the best thing she ever did. She adored that house. Enjoy.

Calmdown14 · 02/03/2023 08:14

I think it is very good future proofing. Having seen my own dad go from absolutely fine to end stage cancer in just a few months I wish he was living in a bungalow.

You need to move well before you 'need' to.

It has one spare room so there is an option for an adult child if they need to return temporarily and once you have grandkids.
Furnish it wisely so you have options. I.e if the spare room is going to be your hobby space most of the time get a pull out IKEA bed that makes up to a huge double easily but takes up less space day to day.

How far away do your kids live as this dictates how often they need to stay.

In the money you save on running costs you could eventually get a lovely garden pod.

Quitelikeit · 02/03/2023 08:14

It sounds like a good idea but definitely think about whether you like having the kids round and if there is space for that. Afterall a wonderful property with no visitors or guests might be quite lonely

You could ask the kids if they wanted some of your stuff

FrownPrincess · 02/03/2023 08:17

I have done exactly that, OP, and for the same reasons as you. It’s a big change, and sometimes I miss all the storage space I used to have, but apart from that I have no regrets. After losing my husband (who died suddenly at home) I couldn’t contemplate staying there alone, it reinforced my feelings of loss. Without him, the house felt like an empty shell.
Fast forward a year and I am content in my new, much smaller home. I stayed in the same town but moved to a different area where there are all the amenities I need within easy walking distance. This is important, because although I have a car and drive now, it may not be the case a few years down the line. The bungalow you are thinking of sounds nice, but if it is slightly rural will bus services always be maintained?