No more children

[Spraylatter]

How do you get over the grief of not having any more children?

I have two amazing DC and had a TFMR last year, I would love another but due to last year I’m scared and logically we should focus on our amazing kids.

my heart really wants another child, I’ve cried so much recently and had counselling. I feel almost depressed (guess this is part of grieving?)

Bump

We decided we couldn’t afford any more children (I wanted 4) so not quite the same, but I went to university once both were at school and built a new career and concentrated on enjoying the two we had.

I have 2 and had a MC last year. I'm not particularly fertile and not sure I want to repeat the last decade of TTC and starting to wonder if we are just done. DH would be happy with another but definitely happier to be done. I'm really not ok with it and understand how you feel. I'm guessing if we actually did something more permanent like a vasectomy or coil it would give me a bit more closure but at the moment we just live in limbo and don't really speak about it. Wish I was brave enough to say it would be healthier for our family if we were done.

So sorry for your loss OP. No advice but our eldest DD was born with a very serious genetic syndrome and after genetic counselling we were told not to risk any further pregnancies [this was 45 years ago before all the sophisticated testing available now]. Like you I simply couldn't cope with the idea of no more babies and knew I wasn't "done". I was distraught as I just wanted to be a mummy to lots of children, not just the one I had. In the end we went ahead and had a further 4 daughters all born perfectly healthy - no regrets at all. Sending you hugs and solidarity. Take time to grieve before you make a definite decision OP.

@Beseen22 i really want to make a decision so I can move on mentally. But the making a decision is super hard so I get this. Not making a decision is almost easier the unspoken as such.

@recklessgran thats amazing, I’m glad you didn’t listen and got your family you dreamed of 🥰

@Spraylatter - I hope you’re doing ok and managed to make peace with this? In a very similar situation at the moment and logically I know it’s right and for the best but painful none the less.