Relative convicted sex offender - what to do?

[ivantheterrible101]

My aunt just found out her son in law (her dd's husband) has been in prison recently due to looking at underage girls on the Internet. Her DD told her this, said he's sorry and will come back to live in family home soon (they have 2 dc aged 12 and 10 and the DH is staying with his mum). They live in the opposite end of UK so aunt who is elderly only sees them every few years, so didn't know about this. All is forgiven and her DD is telling her they want to forgive and forget.
I just googled his name and he came up in a number of newspapers, with his picture so it's definitely him. His offences are horrendous, he made and distributed photos of babies being abused and was linked (online) with known paedophiles. I felt obliged to tell aunt, she is obviously horrified and deeply worried about her DD and dgc. She hasn't told her DD she knows full extent, as she has her own mental health issues (bpd) and is worried about extra stress. She thinks maybe her DD doesn't know full extent, and is now thinking that newspaper articles have been photoshopped and it's all exaggerated
My question is: would he be allowed to go back home to live with his dc with these charges? Can my aunt talk to anyone from social services etc to get confirmation about what he did? His family have completely minimised it and are sticking by him, so aunt thinks it must be a conspiracy or something. Is my cousin 'allowed' to stay in a relationship with him and keep the dc?

Op why is your aunt involving you in any of it?

I would be astonished if SS allowed a convicted child sex offender (and he is one even if he “only” made/shared pictures) to return to a home with young children. I am sure there will be strict conditions for release and his cousin is going to have to choose him or the kids. Sadly, some women aren’t strong enough to make the right decision to protect their children.

However, we all know that mistakes get made and things happen that we just wouldn’t believe possible, so I’d do as others have said - ring SS and make clear that your cousin is intending to invite a convicted paedophile back into her home and, apparently, cannot understand why this must not happen. They need to be absolutely clear with her about what the rules are for the children’s safety when he is released. She needs to stop thinking that things will return to normal.

Your cousin, not his.

Perhaps your cousin is trying to protect her mum or herself from the truth. She doesn't actually need to know what's going on because she lives at a distance and isn't able to help in any way.

Same for you.

Assume the services are involved, given he's been in the paper, and let it go.

Thank you all for the replies. Other than support my aunt there's nothing really I can do. My aunt is a vulnerable person and her DD would definitely have not wanted to worry her. I feel for her too, she had a very traumatic childhood and she's probably afraid to be alone. But still, her husband is a monster. She wanted aunt to tell me because I'm her only real support network, she has 2 ds' but they have their own issues.

My 18 yo and 15yo son were arrested for illegal images and I had a 11 yo daughter at the time. After the arrest, none of my children were allowed to reside in the same house, they ash had to live apart until my eldest son admitted he had done it and made a a statement. Then my youngest son and youngest daughter were showed to come home, but my eldest son had to go live full time with his dad. This was put into place by social services and agreed by me, without me actively showing that I was protecting my children, I would not have been allowed to keep my daughter ( should I have wanted to keep my 18yo ASD son at home). After the court case where he pleaded guilty the police checked he was still residing with his dad, they make random checks occasionally, and social services were happy to leave my daughter at home then. But we are absolutely 100% not allowed to leave him and her together without another adult and he isn't allowed to be alive with any children. Its all been incredibly difficult for us as a family tbh

@glasshole I'm so sorry to hear that, it sounds extremely stressful. Was your dc's case public? If so, did your youngest receive any backlash?

Ss would have xarried a rusk assessment and issued guidelines. If your cousin decides to ignore these, for example moving Jim back in because they want to forget all about it and move on, she will land herself into jot water.
Also if I was your cousin I would be worried about somebody acting as a vigilante if he moved back where people knew what he did.

Families in this situation are batshit.

DHs ex wife has just been released from prison following a conviction for child sex offences against their children. She pled guilty to all (multiple) charges.

Despite the irrefutable (photographic and text) evidence, and guilty plea, her family still see it as a miscarriage of justice and have gone so far as to shout and scream at the children for lying and putting their mother in this position.

Absolutely incomprehensible. But clearly they would rather believe it not to be true than accept what was laid out in front of them, face the shame of it and offer the victims their support.

I would accept that you're fighting a losing battle in trying to get anyone to change their opinion on it and instead ensure that the children are properly supported

Yes there is something you can and should do. Contact her local social services to alert them to the possibility of him returning home to his wife and children. You have no idea of how honest she is being. If they are aware and are dealing with it then no harm done.

Protect the children first and foremost.

@HeyBearILoveYou you can only assume that it's so painful for them to accept that it's easier to go down alternative routes. That's why my aunt is so sceptical, 'Jim's' family are educated and decent people. They live locally so can't not know the full extent, but are saying "he's a good person, most men do things like this"

Just after sentencing we breathed a sigh of relief. It felt like everything was getting back to normal, with covid it was 3 years from arrest to sentencing so a long time to go through it all. Then twelve days after the sentencing it hit the local papers. It was horrific. My family were quite well known, the kids were heavily involved in a very public sport for our town and very well known and liked in schools etc. the backlash was the worst experience of my life. My eldest daughter had just had a baby and their "friends" were mining her social media profiles for family photos posting on her profile saying is he the dad, did you have it for him to abuse etc. sharing them on the tabloid stories on fb . All the kids school friends knew, they went to the same school he went to, same name etc. my daughter lost her best, life king friend. In my darkest days, I even dropped so mentally low as to wish my son had died or that I could just kill us all to make it stop. The pain, the guilt, the trauma we went through was brutal and my 15 yo daughter is still paying the price mentally.