Im really fucked off with something that happened a few nights ago and I want to vent. I haven't slept since this happened. I've put a TW just in case.
We were at a birthday party, think casual but lots of drinks, social club type setting, everyone having a real good time. A few kids, and families too. About 100 people in total.
A woman was constantly inappropriately pestering other women, and over the course of the night, tried it on with nearly EVERY adult female in the room. Including me. Thankfully she didn't get too close to me (well, till later) and I shut her down by the time she asked if dp and I were together and what a shame it was, because by then I'd already seen enough. About an hour earlier i assumed she was a particular womans GF because she was ALL OVER her on dancefloor, kissing her neck etc and the 'gf' was playfully pushing her away (or so I thought). A short while after the convo at the bar I felt her stroke the small of my back on the dance floor and I just froze. DP was getting us drinks at the bar. She knew I had a partner. I told her. And then she did this when I was no longer stood next to him. I felt a mixture of anger, disgust, and violation. And I cant make peace with that since.
Aside from that, most her evening was spent;
Grabbing asses
Stroking necks
Having women grind on her (by coming from behind)
Sexualised dancing
Grabbing hips
'Bumping' into women on dance floor
Twirling peoples hair in her fingers
Grabbing hands and leading women into her arms.
Stroking backs of women whilst she was at the bar.
And more.
1 woman walked off the dance floor in disgust at one point. If ANY of those things were done by a man there would be absolute uproar. But none of us said anything...why? Fear of being labelled?Or accused of something? Or not registering that it's fucking inappropriate?
But im mad at myself. I should have said something to her face after she touched me. My DP was horrified at how she spoke to me, someone blatantly looking his partner up and down and asking about whether I'm single or not. Even he was unsure whether to actually say something (he didn't hear her but saw the long leering looks and my face after she spoke to me). He didn't and still doesn't know about the stroking, I don't even know what to tell him.
I hate this and I hate seeing this blatant sexual harassment but seemingly getting away with it because she was also female. And she was doing it so openly and brazenly.
I'm so angry. The recipients of this behaviour were in various states of drunk and possibly not seeing or reading this as inappropriate. It was so grim.
I dont know what the point of this post is. I'm just so disgusted that this shit happens even in what should be a safe family party.
Today I found out she wasn't invited and was some randomer who drinks in the local pub of the girl who's bday it was. I cant stop feeling gross. On behalf of all the women there.
What should I, or any of us, have done? I've never been in this situation. I never want to be in this situation again and see other women getting harassed like this. This was a family/friends party. A private place. Not a seedy club. She was much worse towards the other women. I just feel so grossed out and violated. I'm just so so mad