Is my relationship over? How will I know?

[imtheproblemitsmeee]

We’ve been together for 3 years. He says he trusts me 100% but he gets jealous and insecure about other men e.g. work colleagues.

When we argue, he’s horrible. He always goes that one step too far and this weekend, for example, he was being awful about my brother saying that he’s a prick etc., (my brother and I haven’t been on speaking terms for a few months).

I’m far from perfect but I feel like I can’t keep going on like this.

He's abusive so yes, this relationship is over, take the steps to get out. He sounds awful

Is this abuse?

he’s horrible

not a quality most people look for in a partner.

unless this is what you want the rest of your like for look like, it’s over or at least it should be cause it sounds shit

He’s horrible and jealous… is this the partnership you want for life?

He’s obviously not always horrible but wow when we argue he takes it to another level and it’s like I don’t know him. Is this normal for an argument? I’ve not had many (any) healthy relationships in the past so I have no idea what’s okay.

What else?

At the moment he seems to disapprove of your brother, and family is always a touchy subject when it comes to arguments, but I can't see this as a dealbreaker...

What other instances has he gone too far? 'Horrible' is a point of view during arguments... but there's a line between not nice, and abusive...

He’s not physically aggressive but he swears a lot due to “frustration” because we disagree that he trusts me. He cheated on me in the beginning with his ex so he’s judging me by his standards I think.

OP...in a healthy relationship you might have arguments, you might even shout at each other...but underpinning it should always be basic love and respect which stops you from saying something that you'll never be able to take back.

We can have an argument and strop about a bit in a huff but I never feel unsafe with him, I never worry that he's going to deliberately say something deeply cruel and hurtful.

If the mutual love and respect isn't there and he seems to be able to say horrible, horrible things to you then yes, I would say it is abusive.

No not normal

what validation are you hoping for? It sounds shit, cut your losses

He cheated on you at the start means he’s never given a crap about you

He also questions me about males from work adding me on FB. I work for a large company and in a setting where I meet a lot of people, so both males and females add me. He’s not bothered about females adding me though ot course.

Op LTB

You’re drip feeds aren’t going to change our minds