Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Does anyone else worry about death?

12 replies

Peckhaminn · 27/02/2023 09:41

I worry about death on a frequent basis. Sometimes when my partner leaves the house, I get a horrible feeling he could die in a car crash or something terrible. Even feel it about myself sometimes. I worry I'll have a heart attack and drop dead. It doesn't overwhelm me on a daily basis but once I start thinking about it, it can consume me for a day or so. Im watching Emergency on Channel 4 about life changing accidents and I just panic thinking that could be me or my family. Would you say this is just a general fear and does anyone else feel this way?

OP posts:
fluffylampbear · 27/02/2023 09:44

Sounds like a bit of anxiety OP. Could you look into therapy?

Death is part of life. I personally believe that death isn't the end. I've accepted it as well as I can for this stage of life.

Thinking about it like you are is not helpful! So maybe therapy could help.

Fuwari · 27/02/2023 09:45

I worried more when I was younger, and DC were young. Now they're adults and I'm in my 50s I am less worried (even though I am statically closer!). I think my big fear was what would happen to DC if I was gone. Now that's no longer an issue as such. I don't want to die yet but I don't really fear it. Its inevitable at some point so a waste of time worrying about it.

DeoForty · 27/02/2023 09:49

Yes, I think the flashes are normal. I also have extended periods of worrying about terrible things happening if I'm already feeling anxious generally. Also a few times when I've known or been affected by bad things happening to other people, I can be anxious for a few weeks.

If it's new, or it's affecting you more than you are ok with, do speak to someone.

fluffylampbear · 27/02/2023 09:50

And OP please don't watch those sort of shows. They reflect brief moments in time for a few people. Watching them makes you think this is an every day occurrence that happens to everyone, which isn't the case! It is probably triggering your anxiety. You have to be careful of the kind of media you expose yourself to, especially if you're struggling with the kind of thoughts that you are at the moment. Avoid dramas / real life stuff around crime / emergency room etc, avoid the news, anything depressing or traumatic. It's not healthy to watch it.

IneedcoffeeinanIV · 27/02/2023 09:52

This is something I've struggled with since I was young. It's eased off slightly now but there are days it can be bad so I massively sympathise.

Booblessbeauty · 27/02/2023 09:55

I am seriously ill, and I don't worry at all any more

It seems to me that we are programmed to do everything we can to survive, as long as possible, and that means a certain amount of thinking, worrying and planning for the worst.

But then, when you are actually facing it, its like, ok, the avoiding it and worrying about it part of my life is over now -

It is very freeing - I have lost all fear and worry I used to have, I know it is inevitable, but I also know it is out of my hands, and nothing I can do about it

DeoForty · 27/02/2023 20:07

fluffylampbear · 27/02/2023 09:50

And OP please don't watch those sort of shows. They reflect brief moments in time for a few people. Watching them makes you think this is an every day occurrence that happens to everyone, which isn't the case! It is probably triggering your anxiety. You have to be careful of the kind of media you expose yourself to, especially if you're struggling with the kind of thoughts that you are at the moment. Avoid dramas / real life stuff around crime / emergency room etc, avoid the news, anything depressing or traumatic. It's not healthy to watch it.

This is true. When I was a nurse in a brain injury unit it really affected my perception of how common it is to have a serious traumatic brain injury. When 90% of the people you see in a day have had a serious accident, it skews your reality completely. I think these shows are a lesser version of that.

megletthesecond · 27/02/2023 20:09

Yes. Even more so as I head towards 50.

Bunnyishotandcross · 27/02/2023 20:12

I have told my dh I am looking forward to the peace in my coffin.

And I think I mean it tbh.

Starseeed · 27/02/2023 20:14

I’ve gone through periods of feeling this way and have worked through it.

Something that eventually occurred to me was that I somehow got through being born - a portal into the world - so maybe the portal out of the world won’t be so bad.

Anxiety is often more about something that’s happened to us in the past. We don’t fear the unknown - we fear what we already have experience of. Have you experienced a death or abandonment or accident etc in the past? Also the earlier in life you experience these things the more overwhelming they can feel. Sometimes the fear only comes up again once you’re in a stable/secure place in your life - like your nervous system senses that there’s enough safety in your life to be able to let in any feelings you might have repressed in the past.

Feelings don’t last forever. Let yourself feel it, follow your thoughts and see what comes up.

Mollyplop999 · 27/02/2023 20:27

Booblessbeauty · sorryto hear this. You sound very brave xx

MrsTopaz · 27/02/2023 20:28

its going to happen at some point… I don’t worry about it. There are worse things than death… and I’m living with the reality with a close family member who has been locked in for very almost 10 years from the age of 62. This forces me to get out there and live life! It’s short and life as most of us know it is a wonderful thing and we need to take every opportunity we have to squeeze the pips out of it! That’s my thinking anyway, hope you find a philosophy that gives you peace op.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread