Anyone work in a care home or similar? (elderly with no capacity, under DOLS in hospital)

[TheSameOldFears]

Lost my Grandad 11 months ago. My Nan hasn't been the same since he died (understandably, they were married for 66 years) and in the last 11 months she has been in and out of hospital, Usually with a UTI. She's been deemed as having no capacity and dementia has been mentioned. They have said she will be going into a care home. She's 86.

This was about three weeks ago and we have heard nothing since. Does anyone know generally how long it takes for someone to get a place in a care home once the decision has been made? She is currently in hospital and has been for three weeks, There is nothing wrong with her, As in she is not ill, but they are keeping her there until they find somewhere for her, they have her under a DOLS and she can't leave. They are keeping her there and not letting us take her home or to live with any of the family for her safety as she was leaving the gas on, leaving her house in the middle of the night and leaving her front door wide open at night, losing her key, at one point she withdrew all the money from her bank in cash and was putting it all in carrier bags to give to anyone walking by her house so they put her in hospital.

She is literally sat in a chair next to her bed and she is getting more and more confused as to why she is there and why she can't go home etc, If we ask anyone what's going on it seems to change on a daily basis.

Anyone been through anything similar or works in a care home environment, This is one of the hardest things I have been through, My grandparents meant the world to me and I feel desperately sorry for her and not coping too well at the moment.

What's your view? Do you feel that the family could look after her? Her needs do sound extreme if she's wandering at night.

Has anyone in the generation above you actually comitted to looking after her full time in her home or theirs?

Have all appropriate things been put in place e.g. power of attorney etc? If there is anything outstanding like that it can take ages till all the relevant paperwork is in place particularly if she has been deemed to lack capacity. As for the length of time for a care home I imagine it varies depending on where you are, my area of Scotland for example there aren’t enough beds and so it’s a waiting game unfortunately but it does hold up discharges or means people can be left at home in precarious situations

Have you not had a discharge planning meeting to discuss next steps? Is she medically fit for discharge? Usually one is held to explain things to family and look at helping them to identify a care home. How will she be funded?

Have you met with the discharge team/ social worker who is arranging this? They should have invited you in for a Best Interest meeting.
If you feel you can meet her needs at home (caring for someone with 24 hour needs is no easy task though) then you should ask for a best interest meeting (this is a legal process under the mental capacity act)
Have they suggested what type of care home she needs? Residential or Nursing? And have they asked you to look or suggested any to you?
It is unlikely to be any of the ward staff making this decision so you need to speak to the discharge team (will look different in different hospital).
Also check when she comes out that she is receiving Intermediate Care funding - so fully funded by health. This is to allow a further period of assessment which isn't appropriate to happen in the hospital.