Page 14 | What was a HUGE deal in your house growing up that is normal for you now?

Bakingmamma · 2023-02-26T14:38:27+00:00

Various things in my house. A big one was baking. Although we usually had the things in the house, wanting to bake was such a big deal and we could only do it on special occasions. Possibly did it once or twice a year. I’m not talking about big extravagant bakes either! I’m talking about 12 bog standard cupcakes with some basic icing on! It was only when I reached adulthood that I realized I could cook some basic cupcakes in 20 minutes and it wasn’t a big deal at all. It takes longer to do a load of washing! What was a huge deal in your house that you’ve now normalized for your own children? --I can’t be the only one --🙈

Usrr · 26/02/2023 20:01

MargaretThursday · 26/02/2023 19:46

Shop bought cakes - almost never. Occasionally we got 1/2 a donut each or 1/5 of a Danish pastry.

Eating out

Paying for parking - we used to go to the local big town about 5 times a year. This involved driving round the free parking out of town until we found a space big enough. These were 1hr parking slots.
We'd then rush into town (about 20 minutes to the centre of town) rush round town with no time to stop and think and then be running back because we were out of time.
There was a car park in the centre of town costing 20p for 4 hours.
If we'd ever got a fine for parking (and it was very close on several occasions-I remember passing the traffic warden or on another occasion df running ahead and having to drive the car round the block to come back to pick us up to avoid them) then it would have been cheaper to park in the 20p car park every time for 20 years!

Chocolate and sweets: Only allowed chocolate on Sundays. Sweets only one packet when going on a long journey. I demonstrated today my expertise in sucking a sweet so slowly it lasts over half an hour and impressed the children around.

Reaction is: I love shop bought cakes, chocolate, eating out and sweets.
I also pay for parking when necessary and don't spent half an hour waiting for a free slot.

The donut comment brings back memories from the early 1980's of my mum occasionally bringing home a gigantic donut the size of a large cake that she would buy from a friends child who sole them as a fundraiser for their school. I remember being amazed at the size of it and the delicious chocolate glaze on top. I also remember she made the most gorgeous gingerbread houses covered in sugary sweets that we were allowed to dismantle and eat after Christmas.

Also memories from the very early 1980's truck or treating around my local neighbourhood collecting a load of sweets.

This makes me realise again how different things were in North American than they were in the U.K. and that this has probably contributed to the obesity problem in North America compared to here until recent years

MistyMooninabluesky · 26/02/2023 20:02

OhNoNotThatAgain · 26/02/2023 15:21

Grapes.

Salmon - never fresh, always tinned. An occasional tin of pink salmon during the year, and if we were lucky, a tin of red salmon at Christmas or Easter.

Shop-bought cakes. They were a rare luxury in our house.

Same here.
Only eating foods in season.
Baths
Central heating - @Usrr - yes, a child of the 50’s
The only takeaway was very rarely fish and chips.

DottieUncBab · 26/02/2023 20:02

Going out for a bike ride to this little village a mile away, having a picnic and cycling back it felt so so so far, now as an adult I regularly run through that village and beyond on my runs. As a kid I could’ve sworn it was at least 10 mile bike ride but it really wasn’t!

miri1985 · 26/02/2023 20:05

Redecoration or renovation of any kind. When I was about 8 the living room in my parents house was redone and it was such a big to do, it was just a new carpet, paint and sofa set but the amount of discussion about it and then everyone had to be told about what was done in great detail. I'm 37 it hasn't been redone since, the once comfortable couch is now so sunken.

My parents have been living in their house almost 40 years, my Mum is still waiting on a new kitchen, several of the floor tiles are broken which if it was someone elses house my Dad would remark on the way home.

Mum would love to redecorate but its made into such a big deal that she doesn't bother bringing up the subject anymore.

Mamamess · 26/02/2023 20:07

pangolinfan · 26/02/2023 15:33

Wearing anything you wanted to take on holiday within a fortnight of departure. Never mind that that was just about everything you owned!

🤣🤣🤣 I’d forgotten about this!! Can’t wait to remind my mum!

Also having toys out downstairs. We had a sideboard in the living room that had some toys in, we would get them out one at a time to play with then they’d be shut away. In comparison I just have all the kids toys out in our family room in full view!

mathanxiety · 26/02/2023 20:08

Usrr · 26/02/2023 16:18

At the risk of sounding very stupid, what age is everyone who is replying on this thread? The things listed are making it sound like the 1950's? I grew up in Canada in the early 80's and most things listed on this thread were very normal for me. This thread makes it seem like a very different world here than it was there. The examples are closer the examples my dad would tell us about his childhood in the 50's.

Baths? What's the issue? We had baths / showers every day?

Heating? I don't understand this. Why was this an issue? Was it because it was just expensive? We always had the heat on.

Blankets not allowed on sofas? That's just strange.

Meals out? I do agree we definitely go out more now, but as a child we probably went out a couple times a month.

Days out? We often went on long drives into the countryside or to explore different towns. Even just for drives in our own town.

Fruit & veg were all readily available from what I can remember and very normal to have these. Perhaps seasonality played more of a role back then, but I can't remember not having them during my childhood.

For me the main different things now are things I do with the children such as indoor soft play, national trust properties (we didn't have these in Canada obviously), short city breaks to Europe (we did lots of Canadian & American holidays instead), playing in the street until we were called in or going over to a friends house and not telling our parents.

North America and the UK (and Ireland) were indeed completely different worlds up to probably the late 90s. Living standards were vastly different.

MargaretThursday · 26/02/2023 20:09

Toomanysquishmallows · 26/02/2023 18:37

@blacktreacles , when there was a thunderstorm, my Dad would insist on turning off the tv , even if we were in the middle of watching something.

We used to switch everything off and never ever use the phone.

WiddlinDiddlin · 26/02/2023 20:11

A few more...

Baths (when little so early to mid 80s) - once a week, strip wash the rest of the week, we had sinks in three out of five bedrooms.

That was because the heating cost a fortune to run (or so Himself said, probably true, the house was also single glazed, draughty and very high ceilings, big Victorian semi with 5 beds) and all the hot water was in a water tank, when it was gone it was gone and there was no immersion heater. Our shower was ancient (like the 'victorian style' ones now only.. genuine!) and we didn't really use it as it was horribly unreliable and could drain the tank so fast.

Being sent to the cellar to get things out of the chest freezer, which was the huge kind you could fit several bodies in. It was also up several steps on a raised platform, so you had to climb up then lean over. Yes I fell in it several times, fortunately the lid was to be jammed open with a stick so I avoided death there!

No one liked that job, the cellar was dark the switch for the light was at the bottom of the stairs which had no hand-rail and it took aaaaaaages to come on, flickering on and off as it warmed up which didn't improve the general ambience at all!

No TV in the mornings at weekends, no idea why that rule at all, it was rare we were home with a TV anyway as we were usually away somewhere, but if we were, we wanted to sit and quietly watch tv before parents got up. Verboten and if we woke her (himself didnt care) she would stomp down and turn it off and yell at us.

FrazzledMCPremenopausalWoman · 26/02/2023 20:13

Conditioner
Tampons
Shorter-than-knee-length skirts
Makeup
Bodysuits
(Cigarettes and booze weren't an issue though 😵‍💫)

VerveClique · 26/02/2023 20:17

My DM’s apparent huge effort and skill in cooking, baking and gardening.

Clothes that fit.

Any affection/hugs.

Doing anything child-centred.

Taking about feelings and anyone actually listening.

Dressing tables.

Martyrdom about DParents jobs… none worked as hard, with such awful people out in such terrible conditions apparently.

Laughing out loud, sinking into a comfortable chair, really enjoying a treat food or drink.

Pets.

MargaretThursday · 26/02/2023 20:23

@Usrr

I think my parents weren't totally typical of the 80s.
The donuts in half was at least partially due to my dbro having a strop one time about having little jam in the donut. So dm used to cut them in half and divide out the jam as well.
We did have quite a lot of cake-but it was home-made. There would always be 1-2 cakes on the go and we weren't limited much on how much we had of them.

Brown bread and mashed potatoes were two of my parents other huge deals. We had brown bread or mash potato with nearly every (non breakfast) meal. Pancake day was one of the few times we got away without-and even then dm used wholemeal flour to make pancakes (don't bother trying!)
For some reason my parents thought that if you didn't have that then our digestions would be messed up for ever. Fibre was very important. We even had to have all bran on top of breakfast cereal. Yuck!

Consequence is I really have food issues round both. I don't think I've eaten mashed potato since I left home and I very rarely have brown bread, because I can't stomach either.

lookluv · 26/02/2023 20:25

Ribena - was a once in a lifetime experience.

I only have black currant squash in the house now

Xmasbaby11 · 26/02/2023 20:29

Similar to others above - special / interesting food and drink, new products, eating out and big days out.

Child of the 80s.

I guess it shows how much our quality of life has improved, in that we expect so much more now.

glittereyelash · 26/02/2023 20:34

Going to mcdonalds, getting the toy from the cereal box, cornettos, steak for dinner, getting a new toy if it wasn't your birthday or Christmas, Sunday clothes, missing mass, going to the beach, having a fry up on a Saturday, leaving the immersion on 😀

Jellycatspyjamas · 26/02/2023 20:35

We and all my friends went ‘back home’ to grandparents. ( Ireland )

We did too - making the journey ourselves at a fairly young age, put on the train that linked to the boat at one end and picked up by my aunt off the boat at the other. Never went anywhere but visited all the relatives.

HashtagShitShop · 26/02/2023 20:37

PennyForearm · 26/02/2023 14:55

Eating out.

Christmas food and goodies being allowed to be open and eaten throughout December.

Not saving anything, clothes, toiletries or anything nice “for best”.

Yes to all of the above. We only ever had one meal out as a family and that was at a wimpy whilst choosing school uniforms one year. We neve ever had a takeaway as a family. Mum and dad very rarely had one on a Saturday night if they'd gone to the club a couple of blocks down the road but they brought it back in with them. We never were able to join with them. First takeaway pizza was 18 after my dad had passed away.

Christmas chocs and food could only be open a 4pm Christmas eve when "the shops shut and Christmas began."

HashtagShitShop · 26/02/2023 20:40

Keeping things for best (even though best didn't ever happen as we went nowhere and never accepted even if invited anywhere). Even now, approaching 40, I still struggle using anything I really like or wearing smart clothes etc because I should be "saving them for best" (which still never comes around!)

Har246 · 26/02/2023 20:41

Buying food and drinks on a day out. We always had a picnic and snacks in mums bag. Buying a coffee while out and about was a definite no no.

MojoMoon · 26/02/2023 20:42

Mr Whippy style ice cream was forbidden (entirely unclear why) but scoopable ice cream was acceptable. Turns out Mr Whippy is bland and unexciting but as a kid, it seemed like the most ultimate prize when my aunt went rogue and bought us all one.

Playing a board game after dinner was an event much anticipated and planned days in advance.

Minieggbrownies · 26/02/2023 20:43

Usrr · 26/02/2023 16:18

At the risk of sounding very stupid, what age is everyone who is replying on this thread? The things listed are making it sound like the 1950's? I grew up in Canada in the early 80's and most things listed on this thread were very normal for me. This thread makes it seem like a very different world here than it was there. The examples are closer the examples my dad would tell us about his childhood in the 50's.

Baths? What's the issue? We had baths / showers every day?

Heating? I don't understand this. Why was this an issue? Was it because it was just expensive? We always had the heat on.

Blankets not allowed on sofas? That's just strange.

Meals out? I do agree we definitely go out more now, but as a child we probably went out a couple times a month.

Days out? We often went on long drives into the countryside or to explore different towns. Even just for drives in our own town.

Fruit & veg were all readily available from what I can remember and very normal to have these. Perhaps seasonality played more of a role back then, but I can't remember not having them during my childhood.

For me the main different things now are things I do with the children such as indoor soft play, national trust properties (we didn't have these in Canada obviously), short city breaks to Europe (we did lots of Canadian & American holidays instead), playing in the street until we were called in or going over to a friends house and not telling our parents.

I grew up in the 80s and 90s so definitely not the 50s

I don't think that my childhood was particularly normal, or typical the the decade. My parents were poor and had mental health problems.

The heating was always a thing because of the cost and because my dad was always hot so everyone else had to freeze.

Days out, again the cost, but also my parents couldn't get their act together to organise anything.

Most of my friends did and had nice things.

PriOn1 · 26/02/2023 20:46

”I guess it shows how much our quality of life has improved, in that we expect so much more now.”

I’m not entirely sure it has improved. I don’t feel like people are happier. When I was growing up, it was normal that women didn’t go out to work and most families lived reasonably comfortably (though perhaps not extravagantly) on one wage.

I realise that could be stifling for many women, but personally I think it might have been better to try to normalize it not necessarily being the wife who’s expected to stay home, but instead for couples to both work part time or for fathers to be the one who doesn’t work.

I feel that we’re now in a situation where expectations and house prices are high and everyone has to work and family life ends up being exhausting, where once it was much less so.

Back to the OP, for us it was takeaway Chinese food. I can remember what a huge big deal it was when we first tried it. Takeaway food was only on special occasions as well. My mum used to bake about seven different types of cake for Christmas each year, as my grandmother did before her. We were all pretty slim though.

Benjispruce4 · 26/02/2023 20:48

I’m 51. Eating out was only for special birthdays in 80s and I don’t remember it at all in 70s. Didn’t eat fresh salmon until I was about 18 or steak!

Emdubz · 26/02/2023 20:55

Fresh orange juice as a starter in a restaurant 😂

The replacement of sheets and blankets with a ‘continental quilt’

DuesToTheDirt · 26/02/2023 20:55

AmandaJonah · 26/02/2023 19:44

Eat in front of the TV. Meals were always at the table. Very occasionally we were allowed to eat in front of the TV if my dad was working late. It was a huge treat.

Opposite here. My brother and I would sometimes go and eat in front of the telly while our parents sat at the table. We never do this in my family - but then, with streaming, catchup etc. you're not tied to the live telly timings any more.

Caramac555 · 26/02/2023 20:57

Eating out

Smoked salmon

Anything from Marks and Spencers.

Selection boxes and Easter eggs. My parents weren't mean or poor but I just think we didn't have constant access to sweets and chocolate