What do you expect from your partner when you are sick?

[runforyourdog]

I literally never get poorly ever where I can't carry on as normal but I think I've got tonsillitis or something and feeling really rough. Not really able to sleep properly unless I have loads of meds and then that's making me feel sick. Just feeling a mess!

DH just doesn't care! He had booked tickets for this thing at the NEC yesterday, I asked if he could just take the kids and he said 'oh well I don't want to go if your not going so we will just stay at home'. So then I went anyway because I felt guilty and it made me feel like crap.

Today DD has got a party so I asked if he would take her because I wasn't feeling up to it. He said 'well ok but are you gonna do some cleaning round the house?'

I'm just like FFS can I not just have one day where I can rest when I'm feeling really crap!? He's not asked if I want anything either like 'can I make you a cup of tea?'. Just feeling really down. No one gives a shit about mummy!

I expect more than that. CF! When he takes your DD to her party go back to bed for the afternoon.

Tell him he’s an arse, that you won’t be cleaning because you’re not well, and go back to bed for as long as you need to. If he won’t look after you you’ll need to look after yourself. I bet he doesn’t clean or go out anywhere when he’s ill.

To take over everything and look after me.

Which he does

To take the children off my hands, preferably out! I want to be able to lounge, doze, watch tv, early bed time. He will do all chores, get food and then leave me alone.

DD is pretty good so if she’s been somewhere, she will snuggle up and watch a film with me. Then if she gets rowdy DH will take her into another room and play.

I do the same if he’s feeling crappy- he never seems to get sick though!

Omg.

I'm rarely gobsmacked but wow.

I'm sorry op I couldn't be with a man like that one of the qualities I found endearing in dh was his wondeful caring side.

I expect some drinks and food brought to me if I'll.

I would look after myself with him going to pharmacy/ shops etc if necessary. He would look after DD, do cooking and general tidying. I would lower my usual standards and would give him some advices. I would do my absolute best if serious clash with work ( he sometimes needs to work out of hours) but he would try to rearrange what’s possible if it’s needed.
All these applies to me if he is unwell.

I've only got to mention I'm not feeling 100% and my husband immediately says "go back to bed and rest" he'll bring me a cuppa and/or painkillers etc and leave me alone.

He sounds thoughtless rather than uncaring @runforyourdog, is he aware of how unwell you feel? My ex would say he was listening to me but when pushed would utter some total garbage that he swore blind I'd said but had no resemblance to what I had said.

Go back to bed and get some rest. Hope you feel better soon.

We don't have kids but I would expect him to sort out medications, drinks and food for me if needed, keep on top of the chores, shop if necessary and expect me to rest. Which he does because he's a fully-funtioning adult.

I'm probably been passive aggressive and cutting my nose off to spite my face but I've now tied up... and am taking DD to party. Hopefully I can rest after that!

Obviously depends how ill but DH would (and has after I had back to back bugs last year) taken DD to her parties. He is pretty insistent that I use that time to rest! He'll sort out food for us all etc. Basically he cares for me! He will also make sure she's entertained and not bugging me too much if I have a migraine or something.

@runforyourdog

Youre not being passive aggressive you're being a mug