Not sure if I’m going to gain anything by writing this. However! I have two friends, let’s call them A and B.
This potentially could be long as not to drip feed. Also, trying to provide as much information but keeping it as unidentifiable as possible.
I’ve known friend A for about 15 years through a mutual connection. I have supported her more recently through a difficult 5/6 year period which led to a positive outcome. During the time of support she upset me on many occasions through various channels due to her difficult situation. Rightly or wrongly, I continued to provide my support and friendship where several others have walked away due to the hurt she has caused them. Despite the positive outcome of the situation, my support has still, on occasion, been required to help in trickier situations.
This help, friendship and support has not always been reciprocated in my time of need, as friend A has become more selfish than others (or myself - haven’t quite decided on my overall thoughts on this yet) due to her focusing and concentrating on her self through her difficult time. During her difficult period there was times where I required support due to challenging circumstances and loss of family members. Despite however I have felt or been feeling, if she needed me I was there.
Moving to friend B. I’ve known her for 6 years due to having children of similar ages. We grew close over this time. During this time we’ve been away on days out, nights away, even a holiday both ourselves and with the families. No issues, no extenuating circumstances, just a genuine friendship (or so I thought).
Friend A has also known Friend B for a similar length of time. However, made a conscious effort to not be friends with friend A due to her difficult circumstance. This included telling this to friend B. All fine here, no issues.
Now leading onto 6 months ago. Friend B lost a very close member of her family and was devastated. In my true manner of style, I was (or what I thought) supportive, offering help and a shoulder where needed. Until one particular day when friend B was upset and friend A just so happened to be there and was able to provide comfort. From here the friendship grew. All fine, nothing wrong here.
Moving on a couple of months I was having a rough patch. I tend to bottle up and keep things to myself and try work through situations on my own. However one particularly bad day I broke down in front of friend A and B. Both offered comfort.
This is where my issue begins. At this time they told me not to bottle up, to speak, that they loved and cared for me. They told me now that they had become closer they offload to one another. During this difficult time for me I explained to friend B my thoughts and feelings, unusually for me opening up. On one occasion I mentioned that both her and friend A were helpful in their support. She explained it’s because they both have had life experience and events in life which they learned from.
Ever since then they two have become increasingly close, almost inseparable. As you can probably see where this is going, I have been almost pushed out, excluded even. I have tried reaching out in varying ways, tried to maintain friendship with friend B since the turn of the year. However, I’ve been faced with very little response or at times nothing.
More recently friend B has lost another member of her close family. I only found out by asking whereas she would normally tell me. Friend A again has been there for her. Doing more for her that she has ever done for me when I’ve been in a similar situation not that long ago - too the extent I didn’t even get a message to say sorry for your loss. I’m not asking for grandeur, just an acknowledgment would have been lovely.
If you have got this far, thank you. This is the real reason for my post I suppose. I accept all of the above, nothing I can do to will stop this. After all we are all adults we can make our own choices and take our own paths. However, I need help on how to accept this and move on from here. The hurt and the pain that this has caused has been indescribable. I’m just so saddened that am of the age I am and this is happening. I’m just passed the stage of not understanding why we all can’t be friends and support each other.