15 year old DD has no interest in anything

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…except SIMS I should add. So like many others her age ended up doing quite a lot of her first part of secondary in lockdown and TBH she never seems to have fully recovered from it in many ways. She seems to really lack confidence when it comes to organising anything herself but on the rare occasion someone else does organise something she’s really excited about about and she’s really happy when she’s out with her friends.

Typical weekend will coming home on a Friday, straight into her room and then sometimes that’s where she will pretty much stay until Monday AM. She does have friends but they hardly ever meet up socially out of school, has zero interest in any extra curricular activities (all fell away over lockdown and never really came back). I do suggest doing things like going out for lunch or going shopping but she always would rather get a take away and watch a film together (which is nice but doesn’t really achieve anything in terms of getting her up and out). I even took her for a weekend away a few months ago but she seemed quite agitated and honestly just seemed to get nothing from it and just talked about getting home the whole time.

Also has no real interest in anything so it’s hard to find anything I can lure her out of her bedroom with.

All of this said she really enjoys school (struggles with a few subjects but likes the social side and her teachers), is mainly polite, very sweet, no drinking or staying out late and no real problems with her but I really worry about her lack of wanting to do anything and also that she’s lonely once she’s at home.

Maybe just typical teen stuff but it does worry me.

wow, that is a worry, I can see why.

have you spoken to her about wanting her to take up a hobby? SPort? music? cadets? voluntary work? what is available around you? I would worry that she simply isn't being active enough to grow up healthy, apart from anything else

Can you just give her a choice of what is available locally,and see what she is attracted to?

I have a few questions here.

Is she describing herself as lonely, or is this your worry?
Is she descrbing herself as bored, or is this your worry?

Some people are naturally quiet, and that is OK.

Does she like doing things with you? If so I would suggest easy things you can do together, like the cinema or a walk on the beach, just to get a change of scenery every so often.

I don’t see an issue here, she’s happy when she goes to school and she has friends, but doesn’t really meet up with them after school on Friday - Sundays

pretty normal to me , not every 15 year old wants to do a ton of extra curricular activities and meet up on weekends, some like spending time in their own space doing what they like
i was a quiet teen and similar
suggest she invite her friends round from time to time ? Could buy a pizza put some music on and just let them socialise?
maybe her friends are the same- they stay in

obviously suggest activities she can do with you ( swimming / shopping / crafts ect)
otherwise for me I don’t see an issue
her personality will change as she gets older

In answer to the above.

I have suggested on many occasions doing sports, drama clubs, cooking (she does quite like it but doesn’t want to do anything organised).

She does occasionally do things at school (she’s a prefect) like helping on parents evenings and things like that and seems to like them. Also does babysitting which she really likes. Teachers say she’s v helpful at this sort of thing

She sometimes likes doing things with me, like I said going for lunch in town or similar in town but rarely.

I wouldn’t describe her as ‘quiet’ as such but definitely lacks confidence.

One of the reasons it does concern me is because when she does get invited anywhere she’s really excited and loves it so I wouldn’t say it’s that she doesn’t enjoy it just the opportunity doesn’t arise much and rather than ever organising anything she’ll just sit on her room.

Thank you this is reassuring. I have other friends who are worried their daughters of same age are out too much so maybe it’s just a constant worry about them.

I have suggested (many times) to have her friends over and she never wants to do that.

Mine is 15 Nearly 16. I thought we had gone through the teenager years but she is in full on Kevin and Perry teenager mode.

i would suggest a nice cup of tea where she writes down things she is interested in eg swimming, paddle boarding, wordle, board game, pottery, reading, planning and cooking a meal, potting some flowers eg. Not organised but like an hour activity. Every week she has to pick 2/3 things off the list, does she have gadgets in her room?

mine can’t stop watching series on her tablet - she will just watch for 5 hours straight. So we agree a time and she hands it over.

Sounds quite a bit like my 15 yr old DD, OP. She’ll do something at the weekend with her friends every few weeks or so, but most times she just wants to decompress after being around people in school all week, and she’s happy in her room all weekend. She has a group of friends, she’s happy in school in general so I’m not too worried. She says she doesn’t like to be the one to suggest things in case people say no and it’s embarrassing. Fortunately her friends are more thick-skinned otherwise they’d never do anything!

My son Is the same but he seems happy at home chatting to mates online.

he is interested in things like travel abroad but it's not feesablle for me to take him to America etc

he gets bored hanging around with mates there isn't much for kids that age to do unless it's a team sport

That sounds like a description of many of my friends same age dds and they are worried too but I think it’s how many teens are these days. Many blossom in the 6th form and branch out then. I would look really hard for a social activity mine enjoys dance and has made new friends there - though my 14 yesr old is the exact opposite of this which brings different challenges…

I was similar as a teen. I was quite introverted. I saw friends at school during the week so I didn't really feel I needed to see them every weekend too. I enjoyed playing video games and watching films at home. Given that she seems happy and is doing well at school I'd leave her to it. I'm perfectly sociable and outdoorsy as an adult.

What is she doing all day? I would suggest taking away her screens, except for a couple of hours each day, and then see whether she might be more interested in doing something.

This sounds very much like my DD. She does say she finds it a lot being with people all week and wants to relax but then on the rare occasion she has been asked to do something she jumps at the chance.

How soon till she's 16? Maybe encourage her to get a job when she turns 16. I think that could be good for getting her out of the house and building confidence.

Is she year 10 or year 11? If year 11 she might be gearing up to GCSEs when are her mocks? She might not feel like she has head space to think of anything else.

Mine is almost 15 and the only 'outside' things that she likes is going to the cinema/theatre or shopping in Primark. The rest of her life is mostly online - or not necessarily online because she does things on her laptop offline and plays on her Nintendo gadgets offline.
If she likes films would she go to the cinema? A lot of cinemas have cafes attached so you could combine watching a film with having lunch out.
But to be honest from your description she sounds like a perfectly normal girl. Happy at school, has friends.
She sounds fine to me (and she probably stays in her room because that's where her stuff is).

Thanks all for your replies