I've just had a massive awakening!

[Tenners]

That's probably a very over exaggerated title to describe how I feel! Briefly - my dh died nearly 6 years ago, and this year, in an attempt to distract ourselves from the anniversary, myself and 2 of my dc have come away for a few nights.

We've had a lovely relaxed time, and I have just got back to my hotel room after a really fun night out with Dd and ds3. I've left them together in a bar where there's live music, and have got into my bed. It's just hit me that for the first time since dh died I feel, if not happy, at least content. For the first time, I can contemplate a future on my own with something approaching equanimity.

I hope that doesn't sound unbearably naff or pretentious, and there's no point really to this post, other than I really wanted to say it somewhere!

It sounds amazing! Our family live with a bit of a shadow some of the time as I have a life limiting illness - so while not exactly the same - I totally get the beauty of feeling free of something and just really bloody happy when you never thought you could be again.

Hope continue to have a fantastic time and wish you many more ♥️

That's so lovely to read xxx

Good for you! 😊

It sounds lovely op.

Aw, that’s lovely to read, glad you had an enjoyable evening.

I am so glad you have found peace.

I’m so glad you posted op !! That is really wonderful

contentment after what you have been through is more than you deserve

hope you have a nice breakfast in the morning and a good day tomorrow

Op that is so lovely and hopefully the start of the next season in your life.

Really happy for you! you have been through a lot by the sounds of it but have come out strong- long may it continue

Thank you so much for all the kind and lovely messages - the kindness of strangers (and of friends of course) over the past 6 years has been invaluable.

@SnobblyBobbly sending much love to you and yours.

Go you @Tenners !!!

Really pleased for you Tenners, we had a similar tragedy when I lost my dad when I was a child.

You deserve this. Carry on enjoying life xx

That so good to read. Hopefully your post will give hope to the recently bereaved, or anyone currently in distress.

I am so glad you found that feeling .

I had the same moment about 5 years after my DH died , me and my DB were out having a few beers , something we had done many times before ( and enjoyed) but that one evening something just clicked .

I told my DB I loved him , he said I am glad you are feeling better. I don't know how he knew , neither did he but he did .

Yes there are still bad days , days when I want the world to go away but they are further apart now.

❤️

So lovely to read OP

I'd say that's every reason to post it

Also, (because I've had a few wines 😊) I had to read it twice.

I thought you were saying you left your 3 year old in a bar and went to bed! 😂😂

@ScottBakula I'm sorry you've been through something similar, and yes, I know exactly what you mean when you speak about days when you want the world to go away. I'm sure there will still be days like that but perhaps they'll be a little further apart now.

That really would result in a massive awakening!

@Tenners I'm so happy to hear this, Thankyou for sharing.

Not naff at all, just massively heartwarming.

Im so pleased for you and your children.

You sound like an amazing mum too.

Thanks for sharing.

This is such a lovely post. As a pp said, it’s the kind of thing that others may find helpful - a little raft to hold onto.

I hope you enjoy your few nights away. Hope your kids have fun with the live music. Who do you think will be last to get up tomorrow?!

@Tenners , I promise they will get further apart.
I know everyone says things get easier with time , I did not belive them and part of me felt it was wrong to want to feel better .

But it is true, its gets easier to cope with the loss , heartbreak and loneliness.

And it's fine to start enjoying life, take each happy moment no matter how small and hold it tight .

I'm so happy for you. I kind of understand what you mean. My mum died and I buried 4 of my babies within 18 months 10 years ago. (My daughter died and I lost triplets late in pregnancy). I thought I would never feel happy, at ease, free of guilt or light hearted again. Gradually the light came back in. Im different but okish. Enjoy your time away with your family. Im sure your DH is smiling down on you all.